I know, I shouldn't be complaining, but that crash was completely uncalled for. So much for having an awesomely huge desktop to play Skyrim on High Detail on. It's nowhere as amazing as a gaming computer, or gaming laptop, but it was still up there. This Mac is just...the keyboard doesn't feel right and it overheats way too fast. Sigh, maybe one day, if I'm not dead before then.
Do you know how amazingly expensive it is to plan self-mutilation? I mean the kind where you aren't trying to kill yourself - because it'll be exceedingly stupid to try such a long and dragged out death - but you're still trying to inflict enough pain that it actually hurts. It sucks that I'm so resistant to pain that normal cuts don't even hurt that much... I mean, I am going to have to stab myself in the arm quite deep to feel the pain, but I certainly do not want to die by wound infection. That's a really retarded way to go.
And so I have to get disinfectants, antiseptics, elastic bandages and medical tape. Thank goodness for first-aid lessons that were necessary in NCC, am I right? Disinfectants to clean the wound (probably feel the sting), antiseptics to prevent bacteria growth, elastic bandages and medical tape to secure a deep wound and stop the blood flow. What's more retarded than dying from an infection would be dying from blood loss - unintentionally large amount of blood loss.
(The screen on this mac is so small I think I may be going blind.)
So like, you know, I still don't get how these birth-chart things work. Mine looks like...I don't know, some weird ass shit and despite being obviously a Taurus by date of birth, half of my important things lie in Gemini and I'm confused. I know the Sun and Moon nonsense, but how can a person have a Sun in Taurus and a Moon in Gemini when they are theoretically opposite types.
Taurus (20 Apr - 21 May)
Taurus is the Fixed Earth sign, ruled by Venus and Terra.
Fixed signs are associated with stabilisation, determination, depth and persistence. On the other hand, they are also inflexible, rigid, stubborn, opinionated and single-minded. These traits are often paired with the need to be considered "right": they will ruthlessly fight on behalf of their beliefs, regardless of any contrary beliefs. Taurus is one of the 4 fixed signs, alongside Leo (Fire), Scorpio (Water) and Aquarius (Air).
Earth signs are associated with practicality, caution and the material world. Other earth signs include Capricorn (Cardinal) and Virgo (Mutable).
Gemini (22 May - 21 June)
Just a note of warning - I hate Geminis. It's like...I have a phobia of them or something. I hear that someone is a Gemini and I'm all like "NOPE, NOPE, NOPE". These people are unreliable, backstabbing and self-serving...and if Geminis have a house in Hogwarts, it's Slytherin, the bad-side of Slytherin. Also, Tauruses are opposites of Geminis.
Gemini is the Mutable Air sign, ruled by Mercury.
Mutable signs are associated with adaptability, extroversion, an analytical but sympathetic mindset and versatility. These signs mediate change and change their modes of expression frequently in order to meet this end, and they are often described as being diplomatic and assisting others through transitions. However, mutable signs may demonstrate duplicity, inconsistency, hypocrisy and the inability to take sides in controversies as required. The four mutable signs are Gemini (air), Virgo (earth), Sagittarius (fire) and Pisces (water).
Air signs are associated with communication, socialisation and conceptualisation. The three air signs are Gemini, Libra (cardinal) and Aquarius (fixed).
What is up with this? I have my Sun in Taurus and Moon in Gemini, i.e. I have my Sun in the most stubborn and fixed sign, and my Moon in the most indecisive and spontaneous sign. I know my birthday is very close to the end of the Taurus period, but Moon signs have nothing to do with that. In fact, your Moon sign can be the sign opposite your Sun.
Meaning of the Moon in Astrology:
While the Sun is the core self through which you find expression in the world, the moon is the inner life that only close companions get to experience. It's the private you that reveals itself behind closed doors, when you've put on something more comfortable. It's also the unguarded you that has to act on instinct, the one that comes out in a crisis.
I don't get this core self concept. If Taurus is what others see and Gemini is what lies underneath, then Gemini should be the core, not Taurus. ...so I'm a very boring and stubborn person on the outside who is secretly a two-faced indecisive child? Nice.
In astrology, the Moon is the instinctual self, and because of that, some might not feel comfortable with its full expression.
Hell yeah, I'm not. You're basically telling me that on the inside, I am a Gemini...and I hate Geminis.
In times of great stress, these qualities could be exposed and make the person feel strangely out of control. If you've ever completely lost it, you'll know what it's like when the Sun is eclipsed by the moon and you become a full-fledged "lunatic".
But in daily life, the Moon is what you fall back on to restore your sense of emotional security. It's the little private habits that are comforting. For some, this means reaching out socially, but for others, this could mean retreating into a solitary corner of the mind. It also speaks volumes about how you handle your intimate life. Some moons have a detached air, while others cast a welcoming luminescent glow.
So you're telling me that in romance, I'm as flitting as a Gemini - I cannot stay still? Excuse me, I take so much offense to that, you don't even know. My sense of emotional security is restored by communication? That's quite true...maybe...but it doesn't mean that it bodes well for me.
A key relationship in astrology is that between the Sun and the Moon. If someone has an ongoing tug-of-war between the will to act and the emotions, it often shows up there.
Holy shit, this thing is actually accurate. I'm a person with an improportionate amount of self-contradiction (thank you, INFJ stereotype) and that is reflected in how my Sun and Moon are exact opposites of each other.
Taurus Sun, Gemini Moon
The combination of your Sun sign and your Moon sign gives an affinity for sociability and a definite air of pleasantness marks your personality. [No it doesn't. What the fuck?] The contrasting elements of slowness of Taurus and speed of Gemini generally produces a Taurus person more apt to make errors of judgement. [Yayyyyy, fun. How does that work with being an INFJ?] The natural trait of stubbornness may still be present, but the Gemini Moon often shows a tendency to jump rather quickly to conclusions and the natural Taurus fixity is not nearly as apparent. But sometimes, trouble can arise when you form a quick opinion and do hold to it, no matter what.
You are mentally alert, but apt to lack the great memory usually possessed by Taurus natives. There is an ever present tendency with this pairing to be too critical of other people [EXCUSE ME]. This is the most restless and fickle of all Taurus combinations. You may find yourself constantly jumping into friendships and romances [Yeah, TOTALLY sounds like me, right?], finding reasons why the other person is not right for you. Continuous challenge and stimulation is required to keep your undivided attention [Okay, finally something that's actually true]. You need more education than most people because study and learning steadies your nature [BITCH YOU CALLING ME STUPID? I HAVE IQ 138, FUCK OFF.].
Your capacity for attainment increases in direct ratio with your interest in study and education [that's true for EVERYBODY]. Fortunately, your intellectual tendencies probably endow you with good abilities or talents. You're apt to show especially good verbal skills [Yeah, like how I never make sense to myself?]; speaking and writing. With education, you can be less restless and more contented [I'm MORE restless and MUCH LESS contented]. The mind is always needing something tangible and concrete with which to relate. Keeping yourself mentally busy is very important for you [Good, end off on a truth].
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