Random Nonsense #6

     I think it's absolutely incredible how different my sister is compared to me. I was that one little girl that never behaved like a girl - jumping in puddles under the rain, playing soccer with the guys during recess, getting into fist fights with guys while rolling in the mud, etc etc. And then comes my sister - protesting when a drop of rain hits her, hating the sun and liking make-up, always crying instead of standing up to whoever is hurting her. I used to think it was an older sister-younger sister dynamics, but I think it's more apparent in the two of us.

     And my sister is a lot like my mom while I'm like my dad, with a mixture of my grandma on my mom's side. Even at the age of 6, my sister already took interest in nail polish, high heels, glittery make-up, etc, everything I scowled at as a kid. I didn't understand nail polish - the normal colour is fine and natural. I didn't understand high heels - I can't run in them, so what's the point? I don't understand glittery make-up - I'd rather my friends knew who I was, instead of trying to look like a pixie.

     Even now I don't think I really understand...or maybe I understand but I don't accept it personally. I understand that nail polish makes your nails look pretty and exotic, but I think the natural hue is the best. I understand that high heels make you look taller and more elegant, but really, I wear them when I go out so that I can see over people's heads. I don't really care about the elegance, because even now, I'd rather be able to run and jump around than to have my mobility severely limited by my footwear. I understand that make-up covers your flaws and allows you to achieve your ideal image, but shouldn't you wear what you inherited (or what God gave to you, if you want to say it that way) from your parents proudly? Why should you be what you are not?

     But it's a self-defeating point-of-view to be sure. I'd rather kill myself than deny the essence of who I am. That's not very ideal for survival, is it? People say that I adapt fast, but that's superficial adaptation. It's very INFJ-like, I think, to be able to adapt quickly on the outside, but be firmly and securely fixed on the inside. We can bend to the will of others, no matter the cost to ourselves, but to us, it isn't being adaptable - we are still following our inner values.

     My sister is an extrovert, without a doubt. But she's definitely not intuitive. That's a horrendous combination with an INFJ. She talks too much, about things I can't really care about. As a sensing person, she comments on things that I don't care about too. Like the example of watching Digimon - she'll often ask me if I think a character is cute or pretty or handsome or cool. I'll just raise my eyebrows at her, remembering how I tended to overlook such qualities. It's not even that I'm more mature now, because even as a child, I was the type to think that characters cannot be defined by a single word. Every character has an aspect of cute, pretty, handsome, cool and it's ultimately the combination of these that make them a likeable character. But that's hard to explain.

     And so I'm stuck in the house with an ISTP, an INTP and an ESTP/ESFP. It's not very pleasant, to be sure. I always feel like I'm crazy. I sense tension in the air, the crackling sensation of irritation/anger/annoyance, but it seems like it's just me. Maybe I'm crazy. After all, we live in a world where what the majority believes in is usually taken as the truth. So if everyone in my family acts like there's nothing wrong, then I'm the one who's seeing things. It doesn't help that I'm wary about the whole "INFJs are prone to overthinking" thing.

     I asked my mom why she cares about make-up and her outer appearance so much. She's not someone who cares about what others think about her, or that's how she presents herself, so it's confusing to me. But apparently, "looking good makes me feel good", which is completely legitimate. Still, "looking good" is vague because I think as long as you clean up and wear some clean clothes, you look good. But for my mom, looking good means concealers, eyeliners, eyebrow thingys, mascara, lipstick, etc etc.

     So being very frank, because I desperately want an answer, I asked my mom, "Is your self-esteem so dependent on how well you can manipulate your appearance? Shouldn't you just take pride in how you look?" I know she's a woman and having white hair isn't socially accepted as being pretty. But I think that's the problem with society. Having white hairs is a symbol of old age and thus, of wisdom, of life experience. It proves to others how much you have been through, of how much you have experienced, of your wisdom. Why should you conceal it? It's a natural process of aging, isn't it?

     This society, if it were given an MBTI, would be an ESTJ society. It doesn't take too kindly to Introverts and we often loiter on the outskirts of society. S is very obvious because of how much people tend to focus on outer appearances. I've also told my mom that, I don't think looking good via make-up will make you feel good because "The more you focus on your outer appearance, the more those around you will focus on it too. If you want people to focus on your character and the kind of person you are, then you should not try to cover it under layers of make-up.". Of course, my mom didn't take it too well - she thinks me too unrealistic.

     It's a T society, without a doubt, because logic is prized so much higher than feelings. IQ is prized over EQ and while yes, IQ is fixed and EQ can change, that doesn't mean that you should always prize the quality that is more easily controlled.

     Why am I so depressed about life in general, even though I'm the one who said that I can jolt myself out of it? It's precisely because this is an ESTJ society. I know that with time, with the effort put in, I can talk myself and walk myself out of the shithole I am in. But the ESTJ quality of this society will just walk me into another shithole. Why? Because this damn world will not wait for you.

     It is my fault, but it is still unfortunate, that I dug the hole I'm standing in even deeper at this time of the year. If I were given the whole holidays to sit in peace and meditate, going over my thoughts and emotions carefully, it is almost a 100% success rate that I can walk myself out of this suicidal state. But this world does not and will never wait for me. Exams are coming up next week, I need the holidays to study. There is no time, no effort to spare, for me to focus solely on myself without the nagging voice in my head telling me I have to study.

    And it's bad, because I'm the kind of person who cannot have 2 channels working at the same time. INFJs suck at multitasking, yes, but it's a particular type of multitasking that I suck at - the kind that requires compartmentalising. For example, if both of the activities I'm doing requires cognitive skills, then I can multitask them. However, if one activity requires logic while the other requires sensitivity and emotional intelligence, then I cannot multitask.

     First, how do I define multitasking? Why do I need to define that? Because if you are doing 2 things at once, but you can't do both at the same efficiency as if you were to do them separately, then it's not multitasking. Multitasking, thus, is the ability to do 2 or more activities at once, each with the same efficiency as if you were doing them individually.

     I know people find it incredible that I can be doing Hypothesis Testing (specifically the T-distribution bit, because it's quite difficult) while still solving a previous Vectors question at the back of my mind. I won't do the question at hand wrongly, and I will be able to solve the question at the back of my mind too. However, if you ask me to do a simple Maths question while I'm thinking about some emotional stuff, then I cannot focus at all. That's why I am often praised for my efficiency in studying despite being inconsistent.

     I'd rather be consistent, but I cannot, because like I said, I don't want to deny who I am. If I'm really upset about something, then I am. It's not that simple though. I usually cannot tell what it is I'm feeling. It's just a really bad pang, but I cannot identify the emotion. You may think if I'm so ready to acknowledge my emotions, then I must be an INFP. No, that's not it. Just because I acknowledge it, doesn't mean I'll share it or even show it. Most likely, the way I behave when I'm happy and when I'm really upset is the same. It's just that I accept the emotion internally, but I lack the Fi of an INFP to understand it.

     So because I don't deny my emotions, there is also the fact that I cannot ever focus for a long time without the Law of Diminishing Marginal Returns setting in (Yay, Economics). My emotions will come up and I will be distracted, not just for hours, but for days. But in those rare occasions when my mind is quiet and I can do work, I'm incredibly fast. The Math Revision package was stated to be about 20 hours long and I know people who spent the whole holidays doing it (even when they meant to finish it in a week). I picked it up one day and finished it in 10 hours, that's the kind of efficiency I'm working with.

     I want to be consistent, I want to be able to wake up at 8 and study until 10 at night without being distracted. I've tried before and at the end of the day, when I finally allowed the emotions I shut off to come back, it hit me so hard I just spent hours crying instead and lost the motivation to study for a whole week. So clearly, it's not good for me to hide emotions from myself. Imagine the kind of pain my parents would feel if they saw me crying. It's not their fault so they shouldn't have to see my moment of weakness.

    I'm not sure how this year will end, but logic tells me that I won't survive it. Already I'm trying to hold on to the ledge and pulling myself back up. But I have weights to take on - exams, testimonies, etc etc, and I have to continue pulling myself up while taking on more weight? It sounds like a recipe for failure. INFJ, the realistic idealists, pessimistic optimism is in my personality. I'm pessimistic about how this year will end, but optimistic idealism allows me to give myself the chance to at least pull myself through this year and see how it goes. It's funny, really, but not surprising. When the MBTI community said that INFJs are walking contradictions, they weren't kidding.

     Now for a random video I took from an INTJ's Tumblr page. I think it's pretty self-explanatory because well...it's supposed to be such a video. Duh. Ni people on Tumblr...seriously. INFJs and INTJs are rare, but there are so many of them on Tumblr. It's called "Dating Tips", but really, it's more about interaction between people and growth and such.

Bleeding Idiot is What I Am

     Who the hell runs out of their house, single-mindedly wanting to kill themselves, only to bloody forget about their "weapon" and leave the house with absolutely no way to do what they wanted to do? Me, that's who. Unless I can bash my head open with a book, a paperback one at that, I don't see how I could have killed myself with anything. And I was standing there, all determined-like, and then I suddenly remember that I left my knife at home. Seriously. I'm stupid until the last moment.

     Hmmm...I remember the Another anime I watched a few months ago (I read the manga long ago but only got to the anime recently), and if I were to use a quote from that anime. For the sake of this post, let's just skip all the plot things and even if it's spoilers, I really don't care anymore. Misaki Mei is a girl who has a doll eye implanted into her left eye for complicated reasons and that particular eye grants her a special power. According to Mei, the reason why the eye gives her such power is because:

     "Dolls are hollow, you see? Completely hollow in body and soul. That void that connects them with death. But hollow things seek to fill their emptiness."

     And so the power that her eye grants her is the power to see death. As she explains in Episode 10, in the conversation with

     "This doll's eye tells me you're not. I think I told you that it allows me to see things that should remain unseen. The...colour of death. The colour of things close to death. A colour I have never seen with my right eye. It doesn't belong with colours like red and blue. It's unique."

     I wonder then, Misaki Mei, how strong is that colour in me right now?

     Also, Misaki Mei has some of the best quotes I've seen in anime, my favourite being this one.

     It's an amazing anime, and I would do an introduction to it, but I'm really not in a good mood. I don't think my mood will go upwards from here...it seems to be permanently stuck like that. I will be glad when the end comes. Death brings a kind of relief that I don't think the people that are "far" from death can understand.

     Misaki Mei. If you know anything about Japanese, you would move to assume that the "Misaki" is written the same way "Misaki" is written for Ayuzawa Misaki from Kaichou wa Maid-sama. But you'll be dead-wrong (haha, see what I did there?). "Misaki" in Misaki Mei is written as 見mi崎saki instead of 美mi咲saki. The latter means "beauty" and "blossom" while the former means "to see" and "cliff". "Mei" instead of meaning beauty, is written as 鳴, which can be used to refer to a shrill cry.

     She is one of the better written characters, though my favourite, of course, is the Megane Boy Tomohiko Kazami. He has a greater role in the manga and doesn't turn evil there, but his completely psychotic behaviour in the anime is quite endearing too. Come on, I'm a person close to death. It is quite endearing to see Kazami go all crazy and murderous.

     Also...the OST and Opening songs. Awesome.

誰もが最後的に残します。

     心情で遊んで...楽しか? 豪快か？あなたは蛇だ、私は単純バカだ--面白可笑しいコンビだてさ！

     No, I don't intend to translate all that because that would just defeat the purpose of writing it in Japanese in the first place. In fact, I've even gone to the extent to ensure that Google Translate will be extremely confused with my phrasing and translate it incorrectly. It's not even that complicated and I'm sure that a competent Primary School level Japanese student can translate that without any problems. Still, it will be incredibly cryptic and the application is also incredibly subjective.

     Anyway, I'm listening to this song that used to be the batch song of one of my senior batches. If memory serves me well, it was that batch that was Sec 4 when I was in Sec 1 - in other words, the first batch of seniors that I knew. Given the nature of my CCA in Primary School, there weren't strong distinctions between juniors and seniors back then, so this was technically the first batch of seniors I had. I love all the batch songs of my seniors, but this one is particularly meaningful and fitting for the kind of mood I'm usually in nowadays. It also fits the personality of that senior batch very well and they were the most similar to my batch.

Crash and Burn by Savage Garden

Lyrics:
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you,
Give me a moment please,
To tame your wild, wild heart.

I know you feel
Like the walls are closing in on you.
It's hard to find relief
And people can be so cold.

When darkness is upon your door
And you feel like you can't take anymore...

*Start of Chorus*
Let me be the one you call.
If you jump I'll break your fall,
Lift you up and fly away
With you into the night.

If you need to fall apart,
I can mend your broken heart.
If you need to crash,
Then crash and burn.
You're not alone.
*End of Chorus*

When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find,
You're caught in a one-way street
With the monsters in your head.

When hope and dreams are far away
And you feel like you can't face the day...

*Repeat Chorus*

'Cause there's always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again.
You'll breathe again.

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you,
Give me a moment please,
To tame your wild, wild heart.

*Repeat Chorus*

      The video is weird, but the song itself is amazing. The other senior batches' batch songs were My Love by Westlife and We Are One from Lion King II. It's as if there's a trend where with every succeeding batch, the songs get more light-hearted...until it reached our batch. We take after our first batch of seniors like you wouldn't believe.

Us Against the World by Westlife

Lyrics:
Us against the world, against the world.
Us against the world, against the world.

You and I, we've been at it so long,
But still got the strongest fire.
You and I, we still know how to talk,
Know how to walk that wire.

Sometimes I feel like the world is against me,
But the sound of voice, baby,
That's what saves me.
When we're together I feel so invincible.

*Start of Chorus*
'Cause it's us against the world,
You and me against them all.
If you're listening to these words,
Know that we are standing tall.

I don't ever see the day
That I won't catch you when you fall.
'Cause it's us against the world
Tonight.
*End of Chorus*

Us against the world, against the world.

There'll be days, we'll be one different sides,
But that doesn't last too long.
We find ways to get it on track
And we know how to turn back on.

Sometimes I feel I can't keep it together,
Then you hold me close
And you make it better.
When I'm with you I can feel so unbreakable.

*Repeat Chorus*

We're not gonna break,
'Cause we both still believe.
We know what we've got
And we've got what we need, alright,
We're doing something right.

*Repeat Chorus*

Us against the world, yeah it's us against the world, baby.
It's us against the world tonight.
Us against the world, against the world.
Us against the world.

     And now for depressing posts on Tumblr, courtesy of me searching up "depression" on a website full of potentially depressing people. An attraction towards melancholy? Not really. It's just that these people at least understand me a little. It's understanding, not approval, that I seek. Sadly enough, as an INFJ who is depressed, that's about the last thing the world is going to give me. There have been attempts to try, certainly, but the surface is so clean and smooth - it has barely been scratched, if at all.

"Depression" Tag on Tumblr

     Really? Only "sometimes". Look on the bright side then, at least some other times, you don't want to disappear. Also disappearing sounds like the best idea, because it does not involve complicated planning and fool-proofing the way suicide does. I think by the end of planning, I'm already too weary and wary to do anything. If I can just *poof* up and disappear, that'll be nice. What's that Harry Potter spell again? Maybe Obliviate? Wiping the memories of other people of me? That sounds like a perfect way to cut ties. Sadly, I think my letter to Hogwarts got lost on the way here.

     It's embarrassing, shocking, disappointing, that I find being asleep much better than being awake. The whole notion of preferring to be in a dormant and unresponsive state is disgusting and I can't help but hate myself even more for that. It's a coward's way of thinking - to escape into a dream state where everything is as I want it to be and I don't have to work for anything. It's pathetic is what it is. But do I still prefer to be asleep? Yes, but I can't stay asleep. I should have known that with my kind of luck, I drew the insomnia card from depression and not the oversleeping card.

     And I think that is why INxxs are very prone to depression and suicide, although I can explain NFs better than NTs. INFPs and INFJs feel so much, there's so much inflow of emotions and we don't know how to express our own. Our extroverted counterparts, as I have explained in a previous post, are able to compartmentalise these emotions into "mine" and "others" since its part of their extroversion. INFP's extreme emotions come from within, with Fi, INFJ's extreme emotions come from outside Fe, which becomes convoluted inside via Ni-Ti loop. As far as I am concerned, there is little Extroverts can do to understand how INFPs and INFJs feel, and that's why compatibility for our types is so limited. You can certainly try to understand, but what you understand in the end is a sheer underestimation of what it truly is. Trust me, I know you're trying, but because of our differences, you can never understand.

     Not every INFJ or INFP is like that of course. It has a lot to do with nurture as well. I can't speak for INFPs, but I know not all INFJs have such thick shells covering their true personality. Upbringing is a key factor to how deeply an INFJ has hidden himself/herself. I know for a fact that I have shells so thick, sometimes I even lose sight of who I really am and come to believe in the mask I wear. And for INFJs and INFPs like that, it's a painful life to live. After all it's a lonely world when only 3-5% (INFJs and INFPs) of the world's population can really sympathise with you, and that's only if they try, which they often don't.

     Ah, but that's because we are looking at this from different perspectives. I have often seen posts asserting that xNFJs are the most religious type. I can't say for our Extroverted cousins, since they are ranked the "Least likely to be Atheists" while INFJs are still top few, but still not that high on the list. For INFJs, it's not that we are religious, no. I think this other person says it well. "INFJs are prone to believing in fate, even if they are atheists". In my case, I don't think I was even meant to be alive, so what I did do wrong, was to be alive. It's rather like Yui and Fae in Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles. The manga, not the anime, since the anime found it necessary to skip that part for some reason.

     After which I would thank you for finishing the job I had no courage to carry out. I have no courage to speak of. I have spent my life digging holes around me and I know better than anyone that there's no way out. Yet, even when reality is clear to me, I still fear the idea of death. No, not of death, but the failure of inflicting that death. So if someone could slit my throat and guarantee that death for me, I'll be ever thankful, but please, I don't want to dirty your shirt and let the last thing I do alive be a burden too. Maybe I'll find some way to piss off a murderer or something so that I don't have to stab myself and then chicken out halfway. Still, these pictures of people cutting...at least I'm not that cowardly. Why are all the cuts so shallow? I know I underestimated the sharpness of a penknife, but seriously, that didn't even hurt enough so why cut so shallow? I don't understand this.

      You girl, you have some serious problem if you think you're depressed. Second choice? SECOND CHOICE? You better be fucking grateful that you are even a choice at all! Some of us aren't a choice for anything. Bitch please, how about you try not even being a choice for once. See how the rest of us feel. You are second choice for your friends? How about the fact that not one of my friends from the past ever checks back on me? At first I thought it was just them, but it has to be me! How about never being a choice EVER? Seriously...at least you are second. Just like those silver medallers crying about not getting gold when there are tons who didn't even make it there.

     At this point, I would like to point out how every single one of these posts that seem understanding are from people who are equally or more depressed than I am. Perhaps that's what inspired the manga, Jisatsu Circle - the fact that only people in depression or have went through depression can understand those depressed. When others try to understand, it's like a mockery of our depressed feelings, because they don't understand the intensity of it, at all.

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Jisatsu Circle

     Jisatsu Circle, in English, Suicide Circle, is a 2002 Japanese independent horror film, written and directly by Sion Sono. The film explores a wave of seemingly unconnected suicides that strikes Japan and the efforts of the police to determine the reasons behind the strange behaviour.

     For the sake of this post, I will be addressing the manga version of the story, since I've yet to see the film...neither do I want to see it. The story begins with the same opening scene as the film, where 54 girls, while holding hands, jump off the platform at a train station, an attempt at mass suicide. However, one girl survives - Saya Kota - who opens another Suicide Club after her survival grants her seemingly mysterious powers. Other depressed students see her as a leader, almost deity-like figure, the way Saya used to see her own Suicide Club leader.

     One line that strikes me the most was when Saya said that "Only Mitsuko-san understood us", which is related to the previous comment I made. Because of the way that all the students perceived Mitsuko to be the only person who understood them (and maybe she was), they devoted their lives to her and willingly joined in her rituals. After Saya survived her suicide, she took on a similar role in her new Suicide Club and even took on the name, Mitsuko. It is then revealed that every leader of every Suicide Club in Japan was named Mitsuko. 

     Saya's childhood best friend, Kyoko, feared for Saya's future and attempts to pull her out of her depression. However, their friendship was already damaged before and Saya, seeing Kyoko's every action as a further rejection and betrayal of their friendship, counteracts Kyoko's attempts by forcing her into the Suicide Club too. After being captured and forced into the Club, Kyoko awakes to the suicide attempt - holding hands while leaping off the school building. In the last moments, Kyoko and Saya are seen reconciling and sharing happy memories, only for the scene to end when Saya's head smashes against the concrete. Kyoko survives the suicide and it is suggested by the final credits that she will become the new Mitsuko.

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Random Nonsense #5

     I accomplished a miracle today. I found a fellow INFJ, and on top of that, a male INFJ. That's like...around 1% of the world population. Can't believe I got lied to this whole time though. I've never known him particularly well, since he's the friend of a friend, but still...I thought something was off when he said he's an INTJ. You can't be an INTJ and be so understanding towards my bizarre problems and/or not mock them. That's just not possible.

I can't believe it! Senpai is an INFJ too! 

     I guess it was stupid of me not to predict it earlier. It was quite hilarious how from the first time we met, there's this kind of "I know that feel bro" relationship between us (given that our mutual friend was completely lost as to what was going on half the time). It's not even the "I'll try to understand you" kind of feeling that the other NFs give off - it's that we COMPLETELY get each other. It's kinda freaky, but kinda cool too. Though it's never good to leave 2 INFJs alone for too long or they will abandon all life responsibilities and go contemplate the meaning of existence in some remote corner of the earth.

      And so I was inspired to go read more INFJ stuff, of course, with other MBTI types distracting me everywhere. I was inclined to just make this a pure INFJ post, but meh, I have time and I'm bored.

1. So Apparently the ENFP/ENTP Match is Dependent on Gender

     Okay, that's great. So tell me where, WHERE is my ENTP? Excuse me? I think I'm missing my order of 1 male ENTP and I would like to demand that my order be attended to as soon as possible. There has already been a delivery of one female ENTP, an order which I did not make, and I am very satisfied with the quality of the product. In fact, I think I want to subscribe to the ENTP channel for more of such products so HURRY UP. Tch, seriously. I hate it when those personality websites are all like "You're compatible with ___" and my answer is "That's GREAT! I don't know anyone like that!" *claps and cries*

2. Something Wrong with This Chart, Seriously

      Would someone like to explain why for NFs, it's either "It's Got a Good Chance" or "Uh-Oh, Think This One Through"? So basically it's either, "Wow, such a good match you are probably the OTP of everyone you know" or "Your best friend, your best mate, your mom, your dad, your grandma, and everyone you know strongly disagree with this relationship". On the other hand, NTs don't have any bad matches? Seems legitimate. Also, here's that INFJ with ENTP/ENFP bullshit again. Thanks guys, I need to be reminded about how I don't know anyone typical of those 2 types. THANKS. 

     Also, good job ENFJ, going beyond the NF stereotype and taking a chunk out of the red. I hope you're proud of ruining the nice red rectangle. Wait...INFP and ISFP...does this mean that ENFJ likes the cute, innocent and super loli types? Can I now assume that every anime character with "Little Sister Complex" is an ENFJ?

3. MBTI Asshole Index (NFs)

Disclaimer: This is a personality test for the sick ones, the mentally sick ones. [OMG, they made this for me!]

ENFP

     Slightly hippyish, the ENFP is often one to black out after one drink. They will not stop pestering you with their ideas and they will usually not understand your feelings either. Very common, these idiots are not ones to bother with being consistent in their statements, and arguing with them will be frustrating as they've forgotten the beginning of the issue once you've explained why they're wrong about the tangent they brought up. The apt animal comparison would be "goldfish". Nothing fazes them and everything is interesting as long as it's in sight.

I don't think that's bad. I mean, the dumbest and most easily distracted people are often the happiest people and it's good to be happy. It's a refreshing change from the usual kind of people, you know.

     They are usually happy, not having found anything to be unhappy about. Spending time with an ENFP is difficult, considering not many have the patience to listen to their stupid ideas. These are the people who get tribal tattoos and think that makes them part of a tribe. ENFPs are like reverse nihilists, in that they believe in everything you tell them.

Perhaps why they are compatible with us. INFJs easily depressed and it's good to have such an optimistic person in our lives. Also, tribal tattoos? No, I think all INFJs will be willing to listen if an ENFP has something to say...they are very fascinating in their own ways (because you know - How are you that happy?)

     Being in a relationship with an ENFP is a challenge; expect to do all the work for little reward. While you might find that, during an initial period of falling in love, you really do connect with an the ENFP, this is just due to them being so plastic and vapid that anything deeper than, say, an army boot is too hard for them to understand, so they'll just parrot whatever you said. You are probably an INFP since you didn't notice this.

Hmmm...I don't think anyone can be that shallow and still be alive on this planet. But it's supposed to be a harsh post criticising every MBTI type at their negative extremes.

INFP

     INFPs are not concerned with the material world, anything that matters to them happens inside their heads. They are the kid in the back of the class who understands nothing and believes themselves to understand it all, which is why they never ask questions, and always make assumptions. If you correct their assumptions, they are likely not to hear you.

Again, I don't think that's possible. If you can retain that kind of personality after this many years alive, it's a talent.

     In the grand scheme of things, INFPs forgive everyone, perhaps because of the lingering doubt that anything they perceive is truly there. Their animal totem would be the stupid, drooling, cute dog.

Oh, you mean the spirit animal of their most compatible type? *snickers* Yeah, figures. 

     Sometimes, the actual real world penetrates the foggy glass of their John Lennon-style rose-coloured shades, and they are prone to extreme depression when this happens. Usually, the best way to get them out of this is distracting them with something shiny, or make a doll of the friend they lost they can keep as a substitute. Since you considered doing this creep thing, I can but assume you're an ISFJ, so get away from me, get far away.

Yandere? Anyway, that's not too bad. Prone to extreme depression when this happens...well, at least you aren't depressed all the damn time. Seriously, I think if you take an average of the extent of depression an INFJ and an INFP experience in their lifetimes, it would be the same. Except that for the INFJ, it's constant, but for the INFP, it's periodic and much stronger. 

     They are likely to find meaning in meaningless things, and relationships with INFPs end typically because of imagine sights or the realisation that nothing you've said for the last fourteen months have even been processed by their brains. If you leave, it might take them up to three weeks to notice, had you been living together.

Hey, this actually makes me want to comfort INFP even more. Come on, just because the INFP sees meaning in something you can't see meaning in does not necessarily make it universally meaningless. Also, this is the kind of people I worry about excessively when they get into relationships because they are 1. very hopeful (as all NFs are, admittedly) 2. very delusional 3. prone to extreme emotional breakdown + outburst when things go wrong.

ENFJ

     Like rattlesnakes, the animal associate with them, the ENFJs have an inexhaustible patience. They give the air of being a wise mentor, when really they just want you to do their bidding. They often run several schemes at once. They do not consider you a friend, even though you might consider them one. They consider you an asset or, at most, an acquaintance. 

Perhaps this is why ENFJ and INFJ are one of the E-I pairs who don't get along. Whereas INFP and ENFP spells disaster for other people besides themselves, I think all INFJs are inherently fearful of ENFJs. INFJs are paranoid and ENFJs are known for the being the type with the most hidden agendas. You can see how that works out brilliantly.

     Adept at manipulation, the ENFJ has gone far as to make themselves believe whatever it is they are saying, fooling lie detectors and even the greatest mentalists. They can usually do this as they have a hollow where their soul should be, and it can easily be filled with fakes. Pretending to be otherwise is easy for them. They do have feelings, such as "I'm worth all the money in the world," or "everything I see is mine."

That's a little too harsh...maybe? I don't know. If they can fool the best lie detectors, INFJs are the best lie detectors and I'm a shitty INFJ, then how am I supposed to know whether this judgement is too harsh or I'm just too naive? I mean ENFJs are associated with "Hero Complex", which in itself means that their "heroic" deeds are fake or exaggerated. 

     In an office workplace, the ENFJ is the snitch you never notice. The ENFJs are drawn towards jobs without glory, such as paparazzis, where they can observe the people who do feel love and destroy it for them.

Now THAT is too harsh. Though...I suppose they'll make the perfect villains then.

INFJ

     INFJs are fond of themselves. They try to have friends but they often do not get past the "hello" phase". They prefer non-interactive media, which is why they predilect for poetry and prose. They fucking paper will not fucking talk back to them.

Oh, then I must be a really healthy INFJ since I dislike poetry, prose and prefer talking to actual people than writing. Nice.

     In the rare occasion that they do manage to befriend someone (after alternating between telling a potential friend too much and then too little about themselves, perhaps they found a balance for once), the INFJ listen to others and then they pretend that the anecdotes relayed to them were the ones they experienced themselves. This way, everything can be about them.

Hmmm, the thing in the bracket is true but besides that, I can't even relate. Isn't the pretend to understand anecdotes an INFP thing, not an INFJ thing? Also, I would really not want to pretend I experienced the anecdotes myself because I'm depressed enough already.

     INFJs often want to change the world, but what they don't realise is that they, themselves, need to change. The INFJ animal is a badger. Badgers are dumb. Badgers won't fucking let go if they bit you, much like an INFJ. INFJs are prone to biting people, the freaks.

Well, I hope you have a nice day too, a day as nice as your attitude. I do realise I need to change, thank you, perhaps that's why we are a suicidal type? I personally think people who haven't gotten close to suicide are either so ignorant of their own flaws they can just live happily in their self-imposed blindness or are really that capable. Badgers are cool, I guess and I'm prone to biting? Well, I hope you enjoy me ripping your arm off then.

4. MBTI Types on the Last Day of School

ISTJ: Double and triple checks all of their graduation forms and papers to make sure they didn't forget to do anything.

That's cool. Hey listen, after you're done with all that, would you like to consider my offer to work as my secretary? 

ISFJ: Makes sure to take a bunch of pictures that they can look through and reminisce in years later.

How about you put down that camera (before I break it) and we just enjoy our last moments together? Pictures can only capture so much.

INFJ: Starts envisioning what everyone is going to be like at the ten year anniversary.

Bitch please, I'm already doing that and we still have 4-5 months to go. Also, there are 2 assumption there: 1. I will actually be alive to envision anything 2. I will be alive in 10 years

INTJ: Is already mentally preparing for college too much to care about what anyone else is doing in the meantime.

Admittedly the most logical and reasonable thing to do actually.

ISTP: Grabs the mic at graduation, yells something obscene, and then drives off into the sunset on their motorcycle.

Hahahaha, these people are so cool. Erm, just take care and don't get yourself into an accident or something, okay?

ISFP: Has an extremely cute decoration for their graduation cap that is way more artistic than everyone else's.

Awwww...that's so adorable. I think they are the Makita Yuuri of real life, aka real Lolis. 

INFP: Sings a song at the graduation ceremony that has extremely emotional and poetic lyrics.

Really, INFP? Aren't they too shy to sing in front of people?

INTP: Gets very confused as to why everyone is crying at graduation and tries to run away from anyone who tries to take a picture with them.

Well, figures that these people don't understand the idea of sentimentality and stuff like that. But still, take me with you! I don't want to take pictures either!

ESTP: Strips nakes and runs across the field during the graduation ceremony. 

Do you want to get castrated? Because that's how you get yourself castrated. Put on some clothes you social disgrace!

ESFP: Does some sort of performance/speech/etc. at the graduation ceremony and then gets extremely drunk at the parties later that night.

Probably the type that will get you into trouble, but fun people to stick around with anyway. They will make the last night of your school life memorable...just make sure you don't get drunk.

ENFP: Immediately embarks on a road trip right after the graduation party, after which they are never heard from again.

TAKE ME WITH YOU~

ENTP: Is the main person in charge of coming up with ideas and a plan of action for the senior prank.

That's why ENTPs are such lovely people. Light-hearted pranksters who are extremely smart. What's not to like about them...except them not understanding emotions...Oh well, they are optimistic enough to chase away whatever pessimism, I suppose!

ESTJ: Is very fastidiously organising the graduation ceremony, making sure everyone goes at the exact right time they are supposed to.

Thanks boss, just tell me what I need to do and if you need help, okay! I'll just sit here and daydream in the mean time. 

ESFJ: Hosts a graduation party that night that everyone in the school ends up at because they are so popular.

Meh...I'll think about it. Too many people - too noisy, but it's a graduation party.

ENFJ: Delivers a perfectly emotional, sweet speech at graduation that makes all of the parents cry.

While the students below scowl and roll their eyes. INTJ's probably already snuck out of the hall and gone to I don't know where. TAKE ME WITH YOU. I don't like sitting through this cheesy shit. Is it normal for an INFJ to feel like this kind of speeches are disgustingly fake and would rather tear their ears off?

ENTJ: As part of the student council, organises the graduation night and most of the other activities.

Why are you guys always so serious. Sheesh. I don't like you people.

     Actually, I have a texting conversation right now. So I'll just leave this here.

Random Nonsense #4

     One of the reasons why I detest Shoujos so much, I think, is the tendency of cheesy romantic scenes to bring out the inherently girly side of me that I don't want to acknowledge. Ao Haru Ride, no matter how I look at it, is a very generic romantic drama, but even as I mock it, I instinctively react to it in ways that disgust me.

     I'm only at Episode 1 and I'm already being so girly with my reactions. For those who have not heard of Ao Haru Ride, which is quite the popular series within Shoujo fans, the story revolves around the female main character, Yoshioka Futaba and the main protagonist, Mabuchi Kou.

     Back in Middle School, Futaba had a crush on a guy named Tanaka Kou. She believed that boys were too rough and violent, but Tanaka Kou was the only exception. He was quite short, soft-spoken and gentle, not to mention, very shy. Futaba herself was a soft-spoken and quiet girl. It was unknown to her then that Kou liked her back. Due to unfortunate reasons (Kou's family issues), he was unable to attend the summer festival that he had invited Futaba too, after which, he disappeared from the school and town altogether.

     The anime starts three years later, with Yoshioka Futaba starred as a drastically different girl. No longer feminine or cute, she attempts to make herself as unattractive as possible, because her popularity with boys in Middle School made her an outcast. She sacrifices her true, girly self for her classmate's approval and hangs around friends that seemingly accept her.

     One day, she accidentally walks into a guy along the school corridor, who rudely calls her "unattractive bread". In her own words, "The voice...the height...It's all wrong...and I didn't see his face...So why did I assume that was Tanaka-kun?" Chasing after him, she finds out that he is indeed Kou, except that he had to change his name due to his parents divorcing. Mabuchi Kou, as he is now called, is also seemingly drastically different from his old self.

     His personality took a completely turn, for he is now more masculine, sarcastic and crude. In addition, he has extremely pessimistic views about his brother and himself. Upon meeting Futaba at the shrine at which they shared a sweet moment as Middle Schoolers, he is reminded that "Oh right, you hates all guys, right? You always have. Seems like you still do."

     Despite Kou being extremely different from the guy she knew before, with her newly gained courage, Futaba brings herself to confess (a little too late, my friend). "Yeah, I hate them, I always have," she admits, but adds that "You were different, Tanaka-kun." Revealing slightly that he has actually not changed, Kou covers his face with his hand (like he did in the past) and admits that "I felt the same way. I...loved you too."

     Even as I was squealing like a little girl at the cute scene...tearing a little because that's how easily I get dragged into this cheesy nonsense, I can't help but notice that he's referring to everything in the past tense. Just as you think, "Wow, it's a 1 episode-long Shoujo!", Kou drops the "We can't go back to that now, though. Things aren't like they were in those days - I'm different. you're different. Which means, that's in the past."

     Futaba's reaction...is what makes me like her more than other Shoujo female characters. Does she cry and burst into tears, embarrassing herself? Despite all the hope she had in her heart that they could return to the past, and having all that crushed, she still thought about him - "Despite the cruelty in his words, there was something lonely in his expression." I know, it's still cheesy, but she's at least a few ranks higher than the other annoying Shoujo females who are either unrealistically strong or way too needy.

     Also, I like the rival guy character, who, in my opinion, is a much nicer guy than Kou. But, we all know who Futaba is going to end up with and it saddens me that poor Touma is going to have his heart broken...

     This guy is probably why I can find it in myself to dislike both protagonists so much. Touma isn't the third person in the love triangle who forcefully inserts himself between the two. Think Shintani Hinata from Kaichou wa Maid-sama and add a dose of gentleness and you get Touma. He is a very earnest person with a strait-laced and honest attitude - a goody-two shoes. Of course, he would suck as a main male protagonist, but he makes for an awesome third character. 

     He does confess and ask her out, supporting Futaba and giving her confidence even while knowing that she still has feelings for Kou. Even then, he doesn't try to persuade her away from those feelings and even encourages her to accept them instead. It's always sad to see characters like this, who have no ill intentions for the main couple, sacrifice themselves for one of the character's happiness. Once again, Shintani Hinata. Although Shintani is probably an Extrovert while Touma is either an Ambivert or Introvert.

Touma and Shintani...why do I always like the side characters more than the main couple?

      Also, Ao Haru Ride has an amazing soundtrack. The Opening isn't too good, in my opinion, but the soundtrack is awesome. It's perfect for a romantic drama like this...although I'm still quite embarrassed that I'm being entertained by a cheesy show like this. I'm certainly not watching the Live Action series though...certainly not (now I'm tempted).

     Now for MBTI stuff, YAY~

1. MBTI Types When Drunk

1. ENFJ

     I don't think that just being drunk...I think that's being high too. That's like...on drugs or something. Scary...ENFJs are known for being surprisingly crazy when they actually manage to go crazy. Next level shit right here...

2. ENFP

     I wasn't trying to take your freedom, man, none of us were. Calm down. If ENFPs are very hyper and scatterbrained to begin with, I shudder to think what a drunk ENFP is. I'll just stand in my safe corner and don't come close until you're sober enough to talk.

3. ENTJ

     Now that's just depressing. I know ENTJs are probably very stressed and everything, but don't turn to alcohol for stress relief. It's going to make you do something absolutely retarded and you will regret it.

4. ENTP

      Probably the only one out of the four that have been revealed that I would go drinking with. It'll be quite hilarious to see these people drunk since they probably don't pose a danger to society or themselves. They are probably just completely out of it in a funny, non-dangerous way.

5. ESFJ

     OH MY GOD, these ExFJs. Crazy people, I tell you. In normal everyday life, they are all sane and perfect and everything nice, and then they get drunk and do the weirdest shit. If you know an ExFJ, probably make sure they stay at least 10M away from the nearest cup of alcohol. You don't want to handle that...Green Man.

6. ESFP

     Please don't get me involved in your "YOLO" nonsense. It's precisely because I only live once that I will never do stupid shit like having one night stands, hooking up with multiple people (yes I know what those are called), smoking weed, etc. I will attempt to persuade these people otherwise but once shit goes down, I'll be out of there real quick.

7. ESTJ

     Girl, is that a challenge? Bitch please, is that water you're drinking? I bet you that I can out-drink you by at least 4 shots. ...I'm probably going to get myself into trouble for this, aren't I? Still, I think ESTJs are probably going to be sane enough not to get both of us into trouble anyway.

8. ESTP

      So your profession is to shorten your life? Great. Still, they probably won't go bat-shit crazy...like those ExFJs over there (I think I need to call the cops on them soon), or the ExFPs (who are getting themselves into all sorts of nonsense I don't even want to know).

9. INFJ

     I don't know what this is supposed to mean. That we INFJs don't get drunk and are just happy to drink with you guys? Well, that's what it is for me, I guess. People drink to get drunk and to get rid of their problems, but I clearly can't do that with my alcohol tolerance and even if I could, I certainly wouldn't. Also, I guess having shots are pretty fun...who drinks alone? Drinking is for bonding and socialising.

10. INFP

     Ermmm....are you okay there? You don't look so well...Don't walk into that wall there now! These are the people I'll get the most worried about because I'm not sure if it's going to drive them into self-destruction or something. ExFJs are making a fool of themselves and I'll keep away from them, but INFPs are another story. Legitimately worried about them.

11. INTJ

     Well, here's our Ni buddy who doesn't seem to agree with our "drinking for socialising" tagline. INTJs do strike me as the type to drink to drown out their emotions and...I don't approve, but it's their choice. I'll continue listening to whatever you have to say...just don't throw up on me and no, I'm not going to drink and encourage you any further.

12. INTP

     That one friend that trips over themselves while drunk...probably pretty funny to watch. The worst thing they can do is to become a catalyst for the other types to do something stupid.

13. ISFJ

     NONONO, STOP THAT ISFJ, STOP LISTENING TO ESFP AND COME BACK HERE! Seriously dude, don't get carried away with all the stupid things ESFP tries to get you to do. You're going to regret it and I know you probably won't do this if you were sober. Sigh...why can't you guys hold your alcohol as well as we do?

14. ISFP

     If you are drunk and you think you are feeling love, that is definitely not love you feel. Alcohol, like most aphrodisiacs, work by increasing the bloodflow in your body, so that is not love, that is lust, so get your ass back out here and stop walking into pubs when you're upset. You're free to drop by for a talk though, if you want. I have Vodka, Gin, Rum, Tequila, etc etc...in limited amounts.

15. ISTJ

     You're trying too hard, ISTJ, but I guess this is a good change from your usually uptight stuff. Just don't get yourself in trouble, okay? Stay away from the ExFxs and stay around the rest of the Introverts or ExTxs and you'll be relatively fine. And that wink isn't working out for you, stop trying. If you get a guy with that, he's not going to be a nice guy, so please.

16. ISTP

     *Glances sideways* Ermmm...someone please call the cops. We have crazy ExFJs in need of mental rehabilitation and a creeper ISTP who is giving everyone perverted looks. Seriously, that face! Argh.

2. Do the MBTI Types Want to Build a Snowman?

Answers

ENFJ: YES!!!

INFJ: Hmmm...yes, what's his name? Can he wear a blue scarf?

ENFP: *sings* Come on let's go and plaayyy I never see you anymoreeee come out the door, it's like you've gone awaayyyy

INFP: Can't we just stay inside and read and drink hot chocolate?

ENTJ: No, I'm busy!

INTJ: Do I have to? *pets cat* Actually, maybe the snowman would be better than people are.

ENTP: Yaaas

INTP: Yes! Actually, I thought of a better way of build a snowman than ever before! Ever!

ESFJ: Yes, but don't forget your scarf!

ISFJ: Yes! I always built snowmen growing up!

ESFP: No, snow angels instead!

ISFP: Only if it can have button eyes that are two different colours.

ESTJ: Sure. You, go get the sticks! I'll make the base.

ISTJ: If someone knows how to and can tell me how...

ESTP: No, it's time for snow tag!

ISTP: No, don't want to.

What Actually Happens

ENFJ: Stays inside to keep INFP company while she reads. Actually more of a bother than good company. Wants to go out but takes it upon himself to stay with INFP. A good guard dog against the others inside. 

INFJ: Trying to teach ISTJ who refuses to start without instructions and keeping an eye on INTJ in case he goes back in the house. Occasionally snaps at ENTP, who keeps bothering her with pranks. Sad that her brother chose to stay inside.

ENFP: Just prancing around and singing. Only difference is that she is now outside.

INFP: Like she said, she stayed inside to read while drinking hot chocolate. Oblivious to the noise outside and frequently annoyed by ENFJ's questions.

ENTJ: Working away on some huge project in his room.

INTJ: Dragged out by INFJ, who he thinks is rather good company, as long as he is allowed freedom.

ENTP: Pranking INFJ to get her attention and prancing around with ENFP.

INTP: Helping INFJ with the snowman and glaring at her ENTP brother, who isn't being subtle at all.

ESFJ: Ends up making multiples trips back to the house to get hot chocolate.

ISFJ: Follows her ESFJ sister around and brings the cookies.

ESFP: Making snow angels by himself while trying to get ISFJ to join him.

ISFP: Silently watching INFJ put together the snowman, smiling when INFJ remembers the buttons.

ESTJ: Helping make the separate parts of the snowman to be put together at the end. Teaching ISTJ when she comes around to help him.

ISTJ: Going between INFJ and ESTJ to help them with the snowman.

ESTP: Grumbling about the fact that no one wants to play tag with him, but ends up helping ESTJ and INFJ anyway.

ISTP: Somewhere in the house...nobody actually knows where.

     Okay, so for some reason, my Tumblr just went down. I don't know how. Maybe it's a sign I should use other things for once, so I'm looking at this Personality Type List thing. And I'll do one, because it can help me with future posts.

Zodiac Sign: Aries | Taurus | Gemini (dad) | Cancer | Leo | Virgo (sister) | Libra | Scorpio | Sagittarius | Capricorn (mom) | Aquarius | Pisces

MBTI: ESFP | ISFP | ESTP | ISTP (mom) | ESTJ | ISTJ | ESFJ | ISFJ | ENFJ | INFJ (the real deal, not the INFP thinking she's an INFJ thing) | ENFP | INFP | ENTP | INTP (dad) | ENTJ | INTJ

Four Temperaments: Sanguine | Melancholic | Choleric | Phlegmatic (by like a few percent above Melancholic)

Enneagram: The Reformer (Type 1) | The Helper (Type 2) | The Achiever (Type 3) | The Individualist (Type 4) | The Thinker (Type 5) | The Loyalist (Type 6) | The Enthusiast (Type 7) | The Leader (Type 8) | The Peacemaker (Type 9)

Cattell's 16 Factor Test: Warmth | Intellect | Emotional Stability | Aggressiveness | Liveliness | Dutifulness | Social Assertiveness | Sensitivity | Paranoia | Abstractness | Introversion | Anxiety | Openmindedness | Independence | Perfectionism | Tension

Celtic Zodiac Sign: Birch (The Achiever) | Rowan (The Thinker) | Ash (The Enchanter) | Alder (The Trailblazer) | Willow (The Observer) | Hawthorne (The Illusionist) | Oak (The Stabiliser) | Holly (The Ruler) | Hazel (The Knower) | Vine (The Equaliser) | Ivy (The Survivor) | Reed (The Inquisitor) | Elder (The Seeker)

Soul Type: Hunter | Caregiver | Creator | Thinker | Helper | Educator | Performer | Leader | Spiritualist 

1 point less for Spiritualist, OMG, I was so close to being like...NOPE, taking this again.

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor | Hufflepuff | Ravenclaw (I cheated on Pottermore, I'm sorry) | Slytherin

Alignment: Lawful Good | Neutral Good | Chaotic Good | Lawful Neutral | True Neutral | Chaotic Neutral | Lawful Evil | Neutral Evil | Chaotic Evil

I'm actually very surprised. I scored 32 on Lawful Good, 1 point above Neutral Good. Between Law and Chaos, I had 11 Law, 10 Neutral and 3 Chaos. But what's extremely surprising is that between Good and Evil, I got 21 Good, 14 Neutral and 0 Evil. 0? Huh...you watch me. I can do something evil.

MOTIV: Materialist | Offbeat | Thinking | Intimate | Vital

Okay, so segue time! Just some simple explanation for MOTIV and my results as well!

-----

MOTIV Basics + My Results

     The purpose of this test/system is to help make you more aware of what you perceive to be rewarding and hopefully examine whether those things actually do, and whether you want to continue with your current MOTIV profile.

1. Materialist

My Score: 13% (That's...that's really bad)

Average Score: 54%

Perceived reward: Being more attractive makes me happy

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored highly: Elitist, shallow, fake, external validation addiction

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored low: Failure to connect to others, society and the world

2. Offbeat

My Score: 56%

Average Score: 48%

Perceived reward: Being unconventional makes me happy

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored highly: Putting yourself at too great a risk, endangering your life

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored low: Playing it too safe, being resistant to change

3. Thinking

My Score: 46%

Average Score: 51%

Perceived reward: Being planned out makes me happy

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored highly: Sticking with plans/systems/routines that don't work

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored low: Inability to make or complete long term goals/plans

4. Intimate

My Score: 96% (ALMOST PERFECT SCORE, WOW)

Average Score: 56%

Perceived reward: Serving others makes me happy (Well...IT DOES)

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored highly: Being taken advantage of, ignoring self, too nice (1. I don't mind being taken advantage of, if it helps you 2. Being self-centred isn't exactly a good thing 3. No such thing as "too" nice)

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored low: Refusal or inability to see other's perspective/needs

5. Vital

My Score: 36%

Average Score: 54%

Perceived reward: Being alive makes me happy (if I'm alive and I ain't doing shit, then I'm not happy)

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored highly: Overcontented-ness, overconfidence 

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored lowly: Depression, poor mental and/or physical health (oops, too late)

-----

Global 5: Social (34%) | Reserved (66%) | Limbic (60%) | Calm (40%) | Organised (50%) | Unstructured (50%) | Accommodating (90%) | Egocentric (10%) | Non-Curious (48%) | Inquisitive (52%)

Holland Code: Realistic | Investigative | Artistic | Social | Enterprising | Conventional

R-Drive: Narcissism | Unconventionality | Empiricism | Vitality | Othercentricism | Independence | Integrity | Intellect | Stoicism | Orderliness | Dynamism | Activity | Romanticism | Hedonism

Another segue~

-----

R-Drive Basics + My Results

     R-Drive serves the same purpose as MOTIV and they are often used as companions to each other.

1. Narcissism

My Score: 44%

Average Score: 60%

Perceived reward: External validation makes me happy

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored highly: Elitist, shallow, fake, external validation addiction

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored low: Failure to connect to others, society, the world

2. Unconventionality

My Score: 68%

Average Score: 64%

Perceived reward: Being unconventional makes me happy

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored highly: Abandoning all reason, practicality, security

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored low: Not following your intuition, your internal self (I'm an INFJ, what did you expect from a category to do with intuition?)

3. Empiricism

My Score: 27% (This isn't even the worst)

Average Score: 61%

Perceived reward: Being planned makes me happy

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored highly: Sticking with plans/systems/routines that don't work

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored low: Inability to make or completely long term goals/plans

4. Vitality

My Score: 16% (...I have some sort of depression, okay?)

Average Score: 59%

Perceived reward: Being/knowing who I am makes me happy (I hate being me)

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored highly: Overcontentedness, overconfidence

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored low: Depression, poor mental and/or physical health

5. Othercentricism

My Score: 100% (Amazing...and I wasn't even trying. It's not supposed to be a good thing though.)

Average Score: 58%

Perceived reward: Helping others makes me happy (My life motto right there, hello?)

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored highly: Being taken advantage of, ignoring self, too nice (I already argued this)

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored low: Refusal or inability to see other's perspective/needs

6. Independence

My Score: 60%

Average Score: 54%

Perceived reward: Being independent makes me happy

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored highly: No person is an island, trust issues, avoidant

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored low: Overly codependent, can't work/function alone

7. Integrity

My Score: 72% (Oh, wow, surprising)

Average Score: 53%

Perceived reward: Being honest/forthcoming makes me happy

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored highly: Can make yourself enemies

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored low: Pathological dishonesty, self-serving, vanity

8. Intellect

My Score: 77% (Hell, yeah~)

Average Score: 70%

Perceived reward: Intellectual complexity makes me happy

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored highly: Impracticality, alienation from others

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored low: Under-developed mental abilities/capability

9. Stoicism

My Score: 50% (Me?)

Average Score: 49%

Perceived reward: Being calm makes me happy

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored highly: Not caring what others think, egomania

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored low: Erratic emotional system, useless in crisis

10. Orderliness

My Score: 61%

Average Score: 48%

Perceived reward: Being structured makes me happy (Doesn't make me happy...it's necessary)

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored highly: Excessive rigidity, inability to be spontaneous

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored low: Excessive disorganisation, inconsistent productivity (I think I scored wrongly)

11. Dynamism

My Score: 78%

Average Score: 48%

Perceived reward: Change makes me happy

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored highly: Not sticking with things, living a transient existence

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored low: Inflexibility, closed off to change

12. Activity

My Score: 27% (lol, I refuse to move)

Average Score: 52%

Perceived reward: Physical exercise makes me happy

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored highly: Exercise addiction/overtraining, body narcissism 

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored low: Obesity, health problems, lethargy (......)

13. Romanticism

My Score: 58%

Average Score: 52%

Perceived reward: Romantic love makes me happy

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored highly: Being codependent, lacking an individual identity

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored low: Fear of authentic intimacy/commitment

14. Hedonism

My Score: 33% (Unromantic and not passionate. OKAY, THANKS TEST)

Average Score: 50%

Perceived reward: Being "high" makes me happy

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored highly: Substance abuse problems, alcoholism, thrill-seeking

Dangerous flaw(s) if scored low: Fear of losing control, pleasure-less life (Yes, I dislike losing control...got a problem with that? Control freak? Yes I am, over myself)

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Dark Triad: Narcissism (1.2/4) [6%] | Machiavellianism (1.9/4) [17%] | Psychopathy (1.1/4) [4%]

Archetypes: Creative | Athlete | Rebel | Caregiver | Visionary | Royal | Performer | Spiritual | Tastemaker | Explorer | Advocate | Intellectual

My face right now...Spiritual. Should have seen that one coming really. Segue but a small one, because this Archetype thing is actually very very extensive.

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Archetype Basics

My Types:

1. Caregiver

Archetype Family: Caring

Other Expressions: Nurturer, Mother, Lover, Sister, Teacher, Rescuer, Homemaker, Heroine, Best Friend, Companion

Life Journey: Care for others in ways they are unable to care for themselves

Unique Challenge: Fear of being thought of as selfish

Lesson to Learn: Learning to help when it's really needed 

Defining Grace: Compassion

Challenge to Self: How can I dedicate more time for myself so I have more stamina to care for others? Can I give myself the freedom to explore what truly makes me happy?

2. Spiritual

Archetype Family: Spiritual

Other Expressions: Mystic, Healer, Seeker (given that INFJ = Mystic, INFJ = Healer, I'm not surprised anymore)

Life Journey: To discover the meaning and purpose of life

Unique Challenge: To create a life that balances my spiritual, emotional and physical needs

Lesson to Learn: To be truthful with myself about who I am and what I believe; to recognise when I'm resisting change in order to remain comfortable

Defining Grace: Humility

Challenge to Self: I will tap into and trust my intuition, and be conscious of where I position matters of the spirit among other life interests

3. Advocate

Archetype Family: Advocate

Other Expressions: Naturalist, Defender, Champion of a Cause

Life Journey: To act as an agent for positive change

Unique Challenge: To find causes that engage my strengths, not my personal agenda

Lesson to Learn: To do what I can, even if it doesn't feel like enough

Defining Grace: Hope

Challenge to Self: I will commit fully to a cause, even if it means pledging my time, energy and money in order to make a difference

     Actually, my 3 types make a very good combination, in my opinion, at least for what I see as life's purpose. The Spiritual family for me to find a larger meaning and purpose of life for all, Advocate to bring that meaning to the people around me and Caregiver to ensure I'm not being a tyrant while advocating. Seems very ideal to me. I like it. Not everyone has more than 1 type, I just scored evenly in all 3. Also, I wonder what's the different between Advocate and Visionary.

Other Types:

4. Creative

Archetype Family: Creative

Other Expressions: Performer, Creator, Storyteller

Life Journey: To explore the heights of imagination through new forms of creativity

Unique Challenge: To overcome the fear of being unoriginal

Lesson to Learn: To develop artistic gifts rather than ignoring them

Defining Grace: Creativity

Challenge to Self: I will develop my talent and express myself without letting fear of failure hold me back and stand by my artistic point of view in the face of criticism

5. Athlete

Archetype Family: Physical

Other Expressions: Competitor, Sportsman, Outdoorswoman

Life Journey: To discover a sense of personal power and identity through developing my body

Unique Challenge: To understand that the body has limits; to pay attention when I'm feeling off-balance and do what I need to get back to my core power zone.

Lesson to Learn: To confront physical vulnerability and accept the reality of aging

Defining Grace: Endurance

Challenge to Self: I will explore my strengths beyond competition

6. Rebel

Archetype Family: Rebel

Other Expressions: Maverick, Feminist, Femme Fatle, Sex Goddess

Life Journey: Break barriers that restrict the human spirit

Unique Challenge: Discover a creative, dynamic and productive way to make your voice heard

Lesson to Learn: Avoid engaging in power struggles as a way of expressing authority. Know the difference between rebellious reactions and rebellious decisions.

Defining Grace: Justice

Challenge to Self: Understand when the rebel in me is controlling my emotions

7. Visionary

Archetype Family: Visionary

Other Expressions: Entrepreneur, Innovator, Pioneer, Guide, Dreamer

Life Journey: To bring the future into the present, and sense the changing impulses of society

Unique Challenge: To remain committed to a new vision in order to bring it to fruition

Lesson to Learn: To believe in my vision, however great or small, and my creative potential to change lives.

Defining Grace: Courage

Challenge to Self: I will envision new possibilities for humanity and recognise when an idea is worth rearranging my life for.

8. Royal

Archetype Family: Royal

Other Expressions: Executive, CEO, Leader, Chief

Life Journey: To learn to use power wisely, productively and responsibly

Unique Challenge: To identify the causes in which to invest my power and influence

Lesson to Learn: To differentiate between authentic and illusory power

Defining Grace: Generosity

Challenge to Self: I will share power in a close relationship, and commit to cooperation and compromise

9. Performer

Archetype Family: Entertaining

Other Expressions: Entertainer, Bon Vivant, Actor, Headliner

Life Journey: To use charm, humour, and wit to enjoy life to the fullest and convey that joy to others

Unique Challenge: To stay the course and not follow each enthusiasm, impulse or emotion

Lesson to Learn: To use excitement and fun to find new and different ways around obstacles

Defining Grace: Exuberance

Challenge to Self: I will keep my drama from veering into melodrama

10. Tastemaker

Archetype Family: Fashion

Other Expressions: Host, Stylist, Goddess, Diva

Life Journey: To become comfortable in my own skin; to derive power from self-esteem rather than the clothes I wear

Unique Challenge: To cultivate my individuality; to form a stylistic point of view that reflects my whole being

Lesson to Learn: To recognise when I'm being judged superficially

Defining Grace: Exuberance

Challenge to Self: I will keep an authentic life that reflects my individuality and empowers me as a person.

11. Explorer

Archetype Family: Discovering

Other Expressions: Adventurer, Trailblazer, Traveller

Life Journey: To follow paths that are self-discovered. Inspire others to explore uncharted territory.

Unique Challenge: To be unafraid to commit: to settling in one place, with one person, and one style of life; to recognise that exploration can be emotional as well as physical

Lesson to Learn: To take the initiative while coordinating with others to break barriers and accomplish great things

Defining Grace: Self-Motivation

Challenge to Self: I will climb every mountain, feel every moment.

12. Intellectual

Archetype Family: Thinking

Other Expressions: Professional, Student, Scholar, Judge

Life Journey: To pursue knowledge for the sake of discovering the truth in all areas of life

Unique Challenge: To recognise when I've locked myself into a line of thinking based on my education or experience; to remain open to new ideas

Lesson to Learn: To learn to listen to my gut, and to discern the differences between reason and rtuth

Defining Grace: Wisdom

Challenge to Self: I will avoid paralysis by analysis