INFJ Compatibility with All 16 Types
1. INFJ and ISTJ
How the relationship works: ISTJs and INFJs are both very committed in a relationship and will set clear, concise goals in their own heads of where a relationship is going. They love to go out and do things together and will have the best time just hanging out. They've been known to surprise one another with small, delicate acts of kindness. They will thrive best in a long-term relationship and can work as a dynamite team to build a home together. Dedicated and truthful, this team can really work together to create beautiful things.
Why the relationship may not work out: INFJs and ISTJs are both pretty good liars and they are totally cool with hiding things from one another. Unfortunately, they both like to be told the direct truth. They are also both very good at arguing and will take everything personally in a clash. They both are prone to trust issues and while INFJs are very artistic with speaking, ISTJs like to simply get to the point of it all. Communication can be a major issue in this manner.
How to keep it: ISTJ and INFJs have got to work together as a team to solve problems; they can't just fight all the time, As much as it may make the ISTJ uncomfortable, sitting down and talking about feelings is completely necessary. INFJs may need to be completely literal in important situations so that all feelings are conveyed accurately. Small acts of romanticism and words of confirmation will help this couple to succeed.
My Opinion: I know 0 ISTJs, which means that any judgement I pass is theoretical. I assume that ISTJs are generally those kind of humble, hardworking and serious people, which means we aren't exactly very compatible. I agree that such a relationship will work in the long-term, probably because those qualities of ISTJs make them stable and reliable, but I may get bored with them after a while. Still, it's theoretical and if my guess of a particular person's MBTI is correct, they aren't that boring...they can be surprisingly fun once in a blue moon.
2. INFJ and ISFJ
How the relationship works: ISFJs and INFJs are naturally incredibly nurturing and will take incredibly good care of one another. They both are very empathetic and love to work things out in bad situations. ISFJs and INFJs both love to showcase their appreciation and service towards their mates. INFJs love nothing better than being appreciated an the ISFJ makes it known when an INFJ is making them happy. They will do best in a long-term relationship and are often an inspiration to those who know them.
Why the relationship may not work out: INFJs love to be relevant and interesting, so they have to prove to their mate that they are fascinating through little "tests". The ISFJ, however, probably won't take particular interest in such tests. Because they are both naturally quiet, they don't dig deep into each other's personalities often. INFJs can be cold and often feel numb, which confuses the ISFJ and may hurt their feelings. The ISFJ needs rules and often does not appreciate the INFJs intuitive nature.
How to keep it: The ISFJ in this relationship has to prove just how much they love their INFJ. The INFJ must be forgiving and open-minded with their ISFJ, accepting their differences. The INFJ must try their hardest not to be too stubborn and explain their feelings carefully. Since they both take things very personally, they should avoid personal insults when fighting and think carefully about every word said. With caution, this couple can thrive together.
My Opinion: Caution isn't exactly my strongest suit and it is a fact that my ISFJ friend and I seem to take pleasure in hurling insults at each other. Funny enough that both of us are overly sensitive, yet we insist on hurting each other. Perhaps it's a way of helping each other grow. Theoretically, I think I would be utter impatient with the ISFJ, because their dominant Si function makes it impossible for me to explain what my Ni has imparted to me. More often than not, I would probably just choose to keep quiet.
3. INFJ and ESTJ
How the relationship works: INFJs and ESTJs are both very giving and dedicated to their relationships, so they take care of one another very well and work hard to keep fires burning. They love to solve problems and value working things out with one another, so even if communication is a bit off, they try their best. The ESTJ's logical side gives INFJs a sense of clarity and security in the relationship, which is very important.
Why the relationship may not work out: ESTJs are often very bold and can intimidate the usually quiet INFJ. INFJs have many feelings that randomly surface and it can confuse and frustrate the ESTJ. INFJs don't like to be bossed around and because they are highly empathetic, they may find the ESTJ to be insensitive or cruel. The ESTJ may see the INFJ as too sensitive or boring.
How to keep it: ESTJs need to watch what they say and how they act, because the INFJ is easily damaged. INFJs need to be very, very clear and logical while explaining their feelings to the ESTJ. The ESTJ simply cannot boss the INFJ around and must watch their words carefully or explosive fights could break out. INFJs need to understand that ESTJs are not heartless and the ESTJs need to prove it. With communication, this couple is unstoppable.
My Opinion: I do know a particular ESTJ guy from quite long ago and I must say, I had absolutely no interest in him beyond being an acquaintance. It is true that I think he is extremely insensitive and cruel and it is also true that he tends to say things that hurt me, not knowing he did so. I think the problem with ESTJ is that their outer personality naturally repels me. It takes honest effort and conscious need for me to willingly approach an ESTJ and I think for an ESTJ, INFJ is just not interesting enough.
4. INFJ and ESFJ
How the relationship works: ESFJs make their INFJ mate feel incredibly important and will soothe their worries easily. The INFJ will feel safe and nurtured when an ESFJ is looking out for them. The INFJ will fascinate the ESFJ, like a puzzle that must be solved. The INFJ can usually read the ESFJ like a book and will enjoy the simplicity and laid-back nature of their relationship. The INFJ is very happy to come out of their shell for the ESFJ and they are very supportive of one another.
Why the relationship may not work out: INFJs get bored easily and don't like routines if they are not actively engaging. They are quickly frustrated with the ESFJ's logical way of thinking and often write them off as "slow". The ESFJ is very sensitive and definitely will take everything the INFJ says to heart, which is highly unhealthy. If they fight, both of their sensitive sides will clash and everyone will get hurt.
How to keep it: INFJs must be very careful with their actions and words when around their ESFJ partner and look carefully for certain triggers. ESFJs must try not to take everything to heart and must tolerate an INFJs words and actions reasonably. The INFJ needs to learn to appreciate what they DO have, most likely unconditional love. When they are careful with their words, this couple is truly beautiful together.
My Opinion: Yes, I agree that ESFJs are extremely easy to read, but that isn't a bad thing. It's probably because of this obviousness that INFJs are willing to open up to ESFJ - they know that if ESFJ's have ill intentions, it will not escape their intuition. I do agree that I'm comfortable confiding in the ESFJ, knowing that she will show compassion and while she will judge quite harshly, will never betray. Also, if she intends to betray, it's easy to tell anyway. Still, I think it's part of the INFJ personality to not confide anything unless asked...and even then, I may not tell. INFJs have serious trust issues.
5. INFJ and ISTP
How the relationship works: ISTPs think intuition and whim is very admirable and love to be taken on adventures. INFJs love to explain and show things to eager ISTPs, who will remember special details and make the INFJ feel unique. They are both very humorous people and they love to laugh and play. Because they both love to listen, trusting one another is easy. They are both a bit competitive, but mostly in a playful way.
Why the relationship may not work out: ISTPs are generally much more laid-back than the INFJs and will find their worrying and analysing very frustrating. ISTPs often have trouble wrapping their minds around just how deep an INFJ can be. Likewise, INFJs find ISTPs vapid and shallow often. They are both needy and clingy not letting go of one another. This can often lead to an unhealthy obsession. ISTPs like to be busy and probably won't make time for the INFJ, who enjoys quality time best of all.
How to keep it: INFJs need to take deep breaths, relax and trust that an ISTP can take care of them. ISTPs can, and most likely will, return the favour. INFJs have a light, playful side to them that they need to let show when they are around an ISTP. By reminding themselves daily why they love each other with gifts or words of confirmation, each member of the couple brings joy into one another's lives.
My Opinion: My mom is an ISTP and this is very true, actually. I do think my mom can be very shallow and judgemental, and has the tendency to be very clingy. I also find a lot of joy in explaining things that my mom doesn't know and I have quite a bit of knowledge in. Competition probably runs in the genes, so that's another thing. Still, I think maybe I wouldn't like an ISTP because of the busy part. My mom tends to bury herself in work to distract herself from stress, I'm quite the opposite. Because of that, the INFJ who values her ability to offer support and comfort would feel neglected when the ISTP doesn't turn to her for help.
6. INFJ and ISFP
How the relationship works: In this relationship, there are always things to talk about and do together. INFJs and ISFPs are intrigued with each other's depth and enjoy one another's company immensely. ISFPs live in the moment and its fun for an INFJ to experience that kind of lifestyle. They look after one another always and are very in tune with each other.
Why the relationship may not work out: They get bored with one another easily. Both have manipulative tendencies, but the INFJ will usually keep theirs under wraps unless seriously hurt. ISFPs can be backstabbers and INFJs find them immature often. ISFPs want to read the INFJ as they do other types, but the INFJ is too difficult to read most of the time. Frustration can quickly take hold of this relationship.
How to keep it: These two need to keep things fun and lively. ISFPs are not always willing to dedicate and must prove to their INFJ lover that they really are going to stick around. Trust issues will arise if INFJ feels uncertain of their love. As long as there is inspiration, the INFJ and the ISFP will get along in harmony and will always have things to talk about.
My Opinion: I don't know any ISFPs, but immaturity does piss me off. I dislike it when people react immaturely to situations and while that is quite hypocritical of me, I purposely do immature things. If a person's immaturity is meant for hurting others, like backstabbing, then it's extremely distasteful. Also, trust issues is something that can greatly impede an INFJ's relationship - platonic and romantic - and I think once ISFP gains distrust from INFJ, the INFJ is unlikely to forget. We forgive, but we don't forget - we don't want to be fooled twice.
7. INFJ and ENFP
How the relationship works: These two personalities have an intense and deep connection to one another. The INFJ will find the ENFP fun and exciting, while the ENFP will be fascinated with the INFJ's depth, interests and life story. They often become very best friends. Expect many long, deep conversations and a lot of dedication on both ends.
Why the relationship may not work out: The ENFP may get bored with the INFJ, thinking that they don't really care about what the ENFP has to say. The INFJ may think that the ENFP is vapid and doesn't actually care either. They are both highly sensitive and can get hurt by one another without even knowing it.
How to keep it: INFJs must be flexible and even though they have a lot of self-implemented rules and routines, must be willing to do some pretty spontaneous things from time to time. ENFPs must be focused and respectful of what the INFJ says. They must listen carefully to the INFJ. When this couple is untied as a team, their love is infectious.
My Opinion: I would think that I could get along brilliantly with an ENFP. While INFJs generally get annoyed over people who are overly scatterbrained in times requiring seriousness, ENFPs are a little different because of their "NF" typing. While ENFPs may seem overly laid-back, INFJs are aware that an ENFP who cares is well aware of their feelings and can be relied upon to react intuitively and appropriately. Still, ENFPs probably don't know they have overstepped an INFJ's boundaries until they've already crossed it. Nonetheless, they may still be one of the best matches for INFJs.
8. INFJ and INFJ
How the relationship works: Two heads are better than one. When these personalities meet, they completely understand one another and are intrigued at such a rare, blessed occurrence (male INFJs < 1% of population). They are nurturing, trusting and dedicated. They will take very good care of each other and will succeed in any kind of relationship so long as it is long-lasting.
Why the relationship may not work out: They understand what gets under the other's skin. They understand one another so well that they could simply be the death of each other. They are both stubborn and they both hold a grudge, which means that if fighting starts it may never end. Both are manipulative, they could hurt each other more deeply than almost any other two types could.
How to keep it: Tolerance. When these two don't agree, they must resist their burning urge to argue and working things out in a peaceful manner. If they can achieve peace, this couple is perfection.
My Opinion: Considering that I utterly dislike myself and think that I have horrible character, I would not want to entertain the idea of dealing with another me. It is unsettling to know someone can read me so accurately and the other person will probably think so too. Best for an INFJ to stay away from an INFJ...which is not difficult to do. We are extremely rare after all.
9. INFJ and INFP
How the relationship works: These two understand one another like nothing else and feel a strong connection. They are intrigued with one another's lives and can talk for hours on end. They are both totally willing to go on crazy adventures and always have a lot of fun together. They are both highly nurturing and care for one another in a beautiful fashion.
Why the relationship may not work out: The INFJ and INFP will encourage bad habits in one another simply because they are both so supportive. The INFP may find the INFJ too judgemental or critical and the INFJ may find the INFP to be immature.
How to keep it: These two lovers must learn to accept one another's differences and understand that they cannot change one another. Once they realise this crucial fact, they can work out almost anything together. It is unlikely for them to fall out of love.
My Opinion: In contrast, I think I may dislike an INFP a lot. For one, I'm not for the type of person whose head is so high up in the clouds that they lack the necessary amount of pragmatism for survival. INFJs are idealistic, but INFPs bring it to an extreme that they probably just blind themselves to reality. They may be one of the only types that understand INFJs, but it doesn't mean that they make good partners. INFPs are unstable and unreliable when it comes down to it, lacking the kind of last-minute initiative that INFJs are bound to have even in the worst situations. Still, for a friendship, INFP is probably one of the best choices.
10. INFJ and ENTP
How the relationship works: These two are electric together. They are both very self-aware and deep, and will enjoy lots of long conversations. Both logical and cautious, they can talk everything out with one another and will trust the other one carefully. They enjoy spending quality time together, no matter the activity and care very careful not to trample on one another's feelings.
Why the relationship may not work out: The often intuitive, extroverted ENTP may intimidate or downright frighten the often quiet, anxious INFJ. The pair will also have the tendency to overanalyse each other and instead of reading between the lines, will just hurt one another's feelings.
How to keep it: The ENTP has to be very gentle and cautious with the INFJ until trust is earned on both ends of the deal. They must try to communicate carefully and not overanalyse things the other one says. If they can do this, their relationship is truly admirable.
My Opinion: Although in my group of friends, my relationship with the ENTP may seem less deep than others, in my opinion, she is probably the one person who can read me accurately without me having to reveal much. It was very unnerving at first, how she was so intuitive, but I had quickly come to appreciate that intuition of hers. In contrast to an ENFP, whose method of comforting an INFJ may be through appealing to emotions, ENTP comforts an INFJ by using logic and bringing the INFJ back to earth. In my opinion, an ENTP is the best match for INFJ...except I know no male ENTPs.
11. INFJ and ESTP
How the relationship works: ESTPs love to take their companions on adventures and will surprise their INFJ with small gifts and gestures. The INFJ loves to nurture and the ESTP just can't get enough of their kind, caring spirit. The INFJ is an excellent listener and an ESTP can pour their heart and soul out to one easily. They often find themselves to be best friends.
Why the relationship may not work out: ESTPs usually have trouble settling down and staying dedicated while the INFJ is always searching for clarity and closure. An ESTP may be flighty in a relationship and may make jokes that the carefully-trusting INFJ just can't take. The ESTP is generally very social, but INFJs need lots of time alone to regenerate. This can cause a lot of confusion and frustration. ESTPs will constantly urge the INFJ out of their shell and it may make the INFJ feel distrusted.
How to keep it: ESTPs need to make sure that they are dedicated to the relationship and want it to be long-lasting before doing anything else, because most INFJs have strong emotional attachments that can't be tampered with. Then, the couple will need to work on communication and work out some sort of system for getting along. If they can work together, they can prove to the world that opposites can really attract.
My Opinion: Although I don't know any ESTPs, I have a feeling that there is one around me and we just don't have common ground. ESTPs are flighty and I dislike flighty people, because it means they can't be trusted. I'll certainly be willing to listen and accept an ESTP's rantings, providing support where needed, but I would have an extra thick wall built around my feelings and thoughts. I understand it is a preference of the ESTP to be flighty and non-committal and I respect that, so I expect the ESTP to respect that because of that, I cannot trust them and will not get close to them.
12. INFJ and ENTJ
How the relationship works: These two personality types are both prone to ration and logic, and make great decisions when their heads are put together. The authoritative ENTJ will probably make most decisions in the relationship, but if they have earned the INFJ's trust, it is a very good idea to be organised that way. An INFJ will feel safe and secure, while the ENTJ will feel appreciated and trusted. Both intelligent and responsible, they usually make great, safe decisions throughout their relationships.
Why the relationship may not work out: INFJs are very sensitive to criticism and ENTJs consider that simply a part of everyday life. If the ENTJ is not careful they could easily hurt the INFJs feelings and an INFJ is very likely to hold long-lasting grudges. ENTJs can also begin to find the usually quiet INFJs boring, while an INFJ may consider an ENTJ brash and cruel. When these two fight, they do not hold back, INFJs can manipulation ENTJs easily most of the time and their expectations in a romantic relationships are often much too high for an ENTJ to fulfill.
How to keep it: Despite both type's tendencies to be rational, they sure don't show it when fighting or holding grudges. In any situation where ideals clash, they need to take a step back and talk reasonable with one another. The ENTJ needs to be gentle and nurturing in order to get an INFJ out of their shell and cannot demand. Likewise, the INFJ needs to try not to idolise their partner, as they are prone to do and accept their faults. The ENTJ may lead the way, but if they intimidate the INFJ, things can never go right. Communication will be the key to pulling through and securing a wonderful relationship.
My Opinion: I think ENTJs will make great bosses, but not someone I want to know personally. ENTJs are quite judgemental, quick to criticise and very bossy. INFJs think that while judgements should be made, they must be changed on occasion and don't take criticisms well. Also, INFJs aren't a leader type or a follower type, but more of a lone wolf. In other words, I think this is a terrible matchup.
13. INFJ and ENFJ
How the relationship works: Both types are very nurturing, warm and thoughtful. They have a deep, intense connection and will almost always make time for one another. The ENFJ's warm, accepting nature makes it easy for the INFJ to come out of their shell. Meanwhile, the INFJ's self-knowing nature can teach an ENFJ to take time for themselves. An INFJ can really teach an ENFJ who they truly are inside.
Why the relationship may not work out: An ENFJ may get disheartened with an INFJ's quiet nature and may find them to be cold at times. ENFJs don't usually need as much time to regenerate as an INFJ and it may make them feel unloved or unappreciated. Meanwhile, the INFJ can often feel as though an ENFJ is prying and that makes them feel exposed.
How to keep it: Both types need to be sensitive and intimate towards one another in order to get their relationship off the ground. ENFJs need to accept INFJs as they come and INFJs need to be patient with ENFJs. They are simply curious most of the time and such curiosity can drive their lives to be a fantastic adventure.
My Opinion: I've read the saying somewhere that "INFJs are the world's counsellors, but who counsels the INFJ? ENFJ does that. ENFJs are the world's teachers, but who teaches the ENFJ? INFJ is the best for that." That's probably quite true but in my absolute cynicism right now, I would like to point out -- I'm sorry, get their relationship off the ground? I think it's buried two million feet underground right now, I can't see it.
14. INFJ and INTJ
How the relationship works: INTJs and INFJs are very intuitive and can relate to one another in a lot of ways. They are both generally very caring people and will nurture each other and help one another to blossom. They are very in-tune to one another's emotions and tend to each other's needs with utter selflessness.
Why the relationship may not work out: INFJs are generally moody and emotional, which can really confuse the usually peaceful INTJ. INFJs like to express things through feelings and this can frustrate an INTJ, who just wants things to be explained rationally.
How to keep it: INFJs need to remember to explain things in concise, rational manner in order to provide clarity to a sensitive INTJ. Likewise, INTJs need to be accepting and reasonable when an INFJ is having a bad day. When they work together as a team, they can make this happen easily and their relationship is almost effortless.
My Opinion: I don't know what to say, because the one male INTJ I know is the world's most insensitive and uncaring person. It's not even a personal grudge, it's a totally justified conclusion based on the fact that I can generate a list of evidence on command. The one male INTJ I know is highly unsympathetic to the suffering of others, going so far as to mock and laugh at it, which to an INFJ feels extremely inappropriate and disgusting. INFJs, like all NFs, feel others' emotions deeply and care for them, so an INTJ like that can pose to be a complete opposition to their ideals. However, I have many female INTJ friends and they are all very caring and comforting people. I'm not really sure then.
15. INFJ and INTP
How the relationship works: This pair is honest and trusting of one another. They guard each other's secrets dutifully and carefully, nurturing one another well. INTPs love logical correctness and truth, and make connections that INFJs are simply spellbound by. INFJs inspire the INTP with their wish to do good and their ability to understand abstract concepts. The pair is very in tune with one anotherm and they love one another on a very deep level.
Why the relationship may not work out: INFJs love to read people and the INTP really does not like to get read. They don't feel there needs to be a motivation behind their actions. They can annoy one another easily with miscommunication in situations.
How to keep it: Communication can be a difficult task for this couple, but so long as they consistently work on it and are able to keep their promises, things will flow smoothly and peacefully.
My Opinion: Once again, I know one male INTP and he's nothing like that. This time, it's my dad. My dad absolutely mocks any attempt on my part to do good in the world, dismissing such goals as immature and unworthy. He pursues material success and believes that human relationships exist so we can take advantage of everyone. Still, the few INTP female friends I have prove him to be an anomaly while they follow the general trend. They dislike to be read and while I think it is inherently an INFJ's nature to read people, I have learnt to pretend that I have not read anything.
16. INFJ and ESFP
How the relationship works: INFJs and ESFPs intrigue one another to a wild extent. The ESFP is kindhearted and will take the eager INFJ on countless adventures. Both fascinated by the world, these two will never run out of things to talk about. While the INFJ doesn't always show it, they are both very flirty and have a tone of fun simply being together.
Why the relationship may not work out: ESFPs aren't always super dedicated about relationships and just love a good time. They can often view INFJs as clingy. INFJs also need to build a lot of trust with a person and ESFPs don't understand why the build-up is necessary. INFJs may put up walls away from their ESFP partner because they feel exposed. INFJs often feel frustrated because they believe that ESFPs lack depth, while ESFPs often view INFJs as completely neurotic. INFJs think that ESFPs are immature at times, and ESFPs think that INFJs simply need to lighten up.
How to keep it: Both sides of this relationship need to consider it seriously. INFJs usually want a long-term, dedicated relationship, while most ESFPs want a short-term, fun relationship. If both parties agree on one kind of relationship, the next step is to get real with one another. ESFPs need to take special care to make sure that their INFJ never feels unsafe or vulnerable. ESFPs need to learn how to get serious, while INFJs need to learn to trust that ESFPs have them covered. INFJs have a good sense of humour and letting it shine is especially beneficial for this relationship. INFJs need to have patience and know that ESFPs simply aren't as "deep" as they want their mate to be, while ESFPs need to comfort an INFJ's worries and depressive states of mind. Life isn't always a party, but if this couple makes it through, anything is possible.
My Opinion: I don't know any ESFPs, but going with the usual SF and NF compatibility generalisation, I would soon get frustrated by the ESFP's inability to look below the surface. On top of that, they are Extroverted, which makes it even more impossible for me to like an ESFP because they aren't that trustworthy. Maybe they can be trusted, but you know us INFJs, we can't trust anyone.
Conclusions on Best Matches:
1. ENTP - INFJ
2. ENFP - INFJ
3. ENFJ - INFJ
All 3 types possess the ability to understand the INFJ's complex inner workings. However, ENTP and ENFP both stand a better chance because of their use of Ne instead of ENFJ's Ni, which allows them greater ability to perceive the INFJ's problems without intrusion. That is also the ENFJ's disadvantage, because an ENFJ lacks the ability to understand without prying and any amount of prying can cause INFJ to be extremely suspicious, especially since we can see the questioning coming before you approach. It's a fight or flight response.
Furthermore, ENTPs and ENFPs are more decisive and are better equipped at dealing with the INFJ's problems. While ENFJ can understand the problem after a while, they are unable to make a decision on how to tackle it. ENTPs apply logic and drag INFJs back to earth using that logic -- which unlike other T types isn't cold, hard logic. ENFPs try to brighten up the INFJs day with their natural optimism, using emotions rather than logic. ENFJs just don't know what to do and with the prying they had done before, it's unlikely that the INFJ will give them the opportunity to try anything.
In fact, it has been identified that the key reason for an INFJ to be unable to find a partner is due to their trust issues.
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