I have repeated the same topics in my brain numerous times but as long as I haven't reached a tangible conclusion, or there are other paths to take in the argument, I can be sure that at one point, my brain will fish the topic back up again. I really should go for night school instead since all cognitive systems start probably only after 8pm.
Yes, I'm just going to rant, but I think even ranting needs to be carefully organised, or you'll just go around in circles and end up where you begun. There is distance in the travel of your thoughts, but no displacement. Scalars vs vectors, hell yeah.
And so I got to watch the sunrise this morning, because no matter how hard I close my eyes and how deep I burrow into my excessively furry blanket, I can't fall asleep. Depression creates numbness but mornings come with a sense of anxiety. I don't know why. So I decided to not fight it and sit up, watching the sunrise from the nice view at my window. At least I have that. It pains me to think about those people who can't see anything from their windows besides the neighbour's house. It's creepy and it's sad. I can see Yishun from here and further than that actually.
1. Why I Think It's Next to Impossible for an INFJ to be in a Real Romance
I've read this somewhere before, but I don't have the habit of bookmarking anything. It's a pain in the neck since I'll remember the contents anyway. I have the policy where I won't ever go out of my way to remember something because I believe that if something is important, I'll remember it. If I can't remember, then it is of little importance.
Anyway, I know this rant is about INFJ, but since I have the whole day to do nothing (I'll start studying on Monday so I have exactly one week for each subject), I'll take my time with the post. Before I go into detail about how I think romance works with the INFJ with relation to our personality and functions, I have an interesting Tumblr post about "Why You're Still Single Based on Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type". It's meant to be light-hearted and the author expresses some of his favourite MBTI shippings, so it can't be that accurate.
1. ESFJ
You're single because: You have a saviour complex and keep going for wounded people who can't properly love you back.
You'll get into a relationship when: You're finally attracted to someone who has his or her shit together and doesn't need to be bullied into a relationship
2. ESTP
You're single because: You're having way too much fun sleeping around.
You'll get into a relationship when: You start feeling bad about how long your ISFJ hookup has been doing your laundry for you, at which point you'll finally ask them out.
3. ENTJ
You're single because: You have impossibly high standards and you'd probably just marry yourself if it were legal.
You'll get into a relationship when: You decide that it is practical to do so, at which point you will assess potential suitors for mate value and propose to the most logical subject.
4. ENFJ
You're single because: You smother the crap out of your last partner, who genuinely did not have anything left to "open up" about.
You'll get into a relationship when: You go on the Bachelor and win.
5. INTJ
You're single because: You over-analyse social interactions to the point where it seems easier to just avoid them altogether.
You'll get into a relationship when: A hell-bent ENFP follows you around for a long enough period time that you eventually just accept that you're dating.
6. ESFP
You're single because: You've hooked up with everyone you're mildly interested in and now you're bored.
You'll get into a relationship when: You want to, pretty much. Who can resist you?
7. ESTJ
You're single because: Those helpful life pointers you gave your last date were actually pretty insulting.
You'll get into a relationship when: You meet an Anatasia Steele type who just wants to be bossed around.
8. ENFP
You're single because: You have the attention span of a goldfish and cannot decide what you want.
You'll get into a relationship when:You find someone just unattainable enough to intrigue you for a significant period of time.
9. INFJ
You're single because: You have trust issues.
You'll get into a relationship when: Someone you've known for an unimaginable amount of time finally wears you down and convinces you that you can take a chance on them.
10. ISTJ
You're single because: You aren't a party animal/bad boy, which you've convinced yourself is all anyone your age wants.
You'll get into a relationship when: You finally reach the phase of life where other people are ready to settle down as you have been for the past two decades.
11. INFP
You're single because: You idealise the crap out of potential partners and then get upset when their reality doesn't measure up.
You'll get into a relationship when: You meet someone who also wants the rest of his or her life to resemble a Nicholas Sparks novel.
12. ISTP
You're single because: You rely solely on apps to get laid (Mainly tinder) and don't see a reason to switch up the game plan.
You'll get into a relationship when: An insistent ESFJ declares himself or herself your significant other and introduces themselves to your entire family before you have a chance to protest.
13. ISFJ
You're single because: You're attracted to carefree personalities, who then take the relationship twelve hundred times less seriously than you do.
You'll get into a relationship when: The ESTP you've been pursuing is finally ready to settle down.
14. ISFP
You're single because: You haven't found anyone you love more than you love Reality TV.
You'll get into a relationship when: Someone intrigues you enough to pull you out of your shell and pursue him or her full-force.
15. INTP
You're single because: You haven't left your apartment in three months.
You'll get into a relationship when: You meet someone just like yourself on World of Warcraft.
16. ENTP
You're single because: You're not. You're probably already in a couple of relationships that you've just forgotten about.
You'll get into a relationship when: Your INFJ wife tracks you down and demands to know where you've been for the past six years.
That's hilarious. Seriously I don't understand the ENTP x INFJ idealisation that every MBTI enthusiast has. I mean, we do get along swimmingly. I feel like I can tell the ENTP anything and she isn't going to react emotionally and exacerbate my already very emotional state. Also, while INFJ is an F type, I think we are shit at dealing with our own emotions. So we really appreciate it if we can share things without having more negative emotions thrown back at us. Because I know you feel sorry for me or something, but it's not making things better. But the ENTP quality can be cultivated in others too.
But why do I have such a negative view about INFJ and romantic relationships? To put it very simply just as an overview, INFJs are extremely complex people who have way too many layers. Furthermore, we are very private and secretive and it takes immense effort to even push past a single layer. Those who would try to are mostly people who just care for everyone indiscriminately and therefore, are not interested in a romantic relationship. Yet those who strive for romantic relationships don't want to work that hard.
Let's just take me for example.
I have so many layers and like all other INFJs, the problem lies in that even if you have transcended the boundaries between two layers, you can't be sure that in a moment of panic, we won't kick you across the boundary again and rebuild the layer under a different disguise. Let's just go through the layers.
Layer 1: INFJs, at first meeting, may appear as Extroverts. Perhaps it is a matter of security or maybe we just really like people, but I think it's both. By opening up early on, you can gather information about new people at a faster rate and roughly get a sense of the limits. At public events, for example, INFJs will be the type who jump from group to group, smiling and laughing, almost Extrovert-like. But we do tire after a while and the transition to the second stage happens normally.
Layer 2: We are still Introverts and people tire us out. We fear that we may already have revealed too much and have gone off to hide. We are tired of people throwing their emotions everywhere and we need to recuperate. My intuition is buzzing too much, I need rest. We fall silent and instead of interacting openly, we resort to sitting quietly and watching.
Most people we meet in our lives are stuck at this point. We are regarded as weird. Hyperactive and talkative, but for some reason, fall deadly silent and are quite creepy. Weird people are generally not very attractive because humans naturally fear what they do not understand.
Layer 3: I'll let you insult me all you want because our relationship has reached a point where I feel honoured to be your friend and as long as it makes you happy, continue with your insults. I think I can take it and if I can't, I'll pretend that I can. I know you mean well and I'm glad you mean well.
Layer 4: Sometimes the insults go overboard and this layer emerges unintentionally. We flinch and suddenly there's this sense of withdrawal that we go through. We may still be accepting your insults, but for anyone just a little observant, it is easy to tell that something has gone wrong. We can still try to act, but when it hurts too deeply, it's difficult to keep up a façade.
It's not that I don't trust these friends, but I'm way too protective over them. I either think they cannot take my burdens and thus don't ever want them to, or I think they have enough problems already. It's already difficult to get to this point because like I said, I'm not the type to attract people. I think I actually repel company.
Layer 5: I start telling you about all the huge, idealistic dreams I have for the future and sometimes, my self-doubt will seep through. But it's at this point you realise that despite all my laid-back attitude towards studies, I somehow have ludicrous dreams that don't match the usual amount of effort I put into things. But you will know at this point that studies just isn't the means to that end and behind the scenes, I am putting a lot of effort into other things.
This is as far as I would allow friends to go. As far as I'm concerned, friends are an honour to have and they are not obliged to listen to your burdens. If you are at this point, unless you transcend the boundaries of friendship, there is no more I want to show.
Layer 6: This usually happens accidentally. For an INFJ like me, who sometimes lose control over the ability to suppress depression, people can catch us at the wrong times. This is a dangerous place to be because one wrong touch and we will send you back all the way to the very first layer and then rebuilt all the layers differently. It would take ten times the effort to get back. And yet, this is the place that romance should set in for INFJ, because what we look for is security and someone we can trust. Someone who will listen and will understand, will offer constructive criticism. Tactful yet honest and sincere.
And therein lies the difficulty. It is already extremely difficult to get into Layer 6 without me messing up or without great trust. At which point, I am already well aware of the danger I'm putting myself in. For me to trust that deeply, it means that I'm already..in love?...having a crush? Something along those lines. I have no more defences left and there are just so many ways to hurt me now.
Insensitivity will earn you a one-way ticket back to Layer 1 because my trust has been compromised. I don't hate people who are accidentally insensitive, but people who have been told that a certain act is insensitive and yet refuse to apologise. It reflects on their personality and also, how much they value my feelings and my trust. Insensitivity is relatively easier to deal with because it goes against my values, our INFJ values, and it's extremely effortless for us to send you back on an express train. There is often little regret involved. If an apology is given within a certain amount of time, you can take the express train back but as our insecurity goes, the longer one takes to apologise, the more solidified our resolve to purge of that unpleasantness.
What hurts more is rejection. That's why I would advice to all INFJs to not confess before you are absolutely sure you have the time and energy to mop around for months looking for the bits and pieces that have fallen apart afterwards. We tend to go for the most inaccessible options, because it's the way things work for us. Most of the time, anyone who is willing to find out all about an INFJ is someone who is generally interested in people. They care about you because it's the way they are, it's not interest, it's not romance. But sure as hell we INFJs will mistake it to be, because we are so desperate for someone to actually know us. And so someone tries to understand the INFJ and succeeds, but the INFJ will end up getting rejected after they realise that it doesn't mean anymore than friendship.
Hey but I think we INFJs are amazing because we won't send these people packing like we did the insensitive people. Because it's not their fault we are rejected, because we are the ones who thought too much about it in the first place. The insensitive people, on the other hand, are at fault, because we have probably warned them and offered them chance, but they refused it.
And so to put it simply, why is it so difficult for INFJs? Because our trust issues are so deep that it takes so much effort to even get to know us. You can never completely figure us out, I mean, we can't even figure ourselves out, but there is a certain threshold that you can pass to be sure that you have our complete trust. Yet, most of the time, people who pass this threshold are not passing it for romantic interest, yet the INFJ will only have romantic interest for people who pass that threshold. And so once in a million encounters, we meet someone who cares and understands, but they aren't interested and we are left waiting for another one in a million.
2. MBTI Spirit Animals
1. INTP: Owl
INTPs are analytical and thoughtful individuals who prefer to work alone and who are often ill at ease in social situations. They are impatient with hierarchies and politics and would prefer that leaders prove their worth with merit, rather than with charisma and influence. Although they are not particularly social, they do have razor sharp wit (and claws), and are often surprised to learn that people do enjoy their company.
The only INTP I know is my dad and I know that people do enjoy his company if only for the intellectual company. He is bad with emotions and often think they are unnecessary and make people weak, but when it comes to intellectual pursuits and ideas, he's all for them.
2. ESTP: Fox
Dramatic, charismatic and influential -- ESTPs seek the best in life and want to share it with their friends. They are active, spontaneous, fun and foxy. They are the most adept of any of the personality types at influencing and manipulating people, and they make great salesman and can be wonderful friends if you're looking for a good time.
I don't know any ESTPs and I love foxes in general, but I'm sure that these are precisely the kind of people that INFJs should be the most cautious with. Well, no surprise, our 4 letters are all different after all.
3. ISFP: Sloth
Peaceful and easygoing, ISFPs take things at their own pace and live moment to moment. They are considerate, pleasant, caring and mellow. Their values are important to them, but they are not ones who particularly care about defending or debating their views publicly. Don't call them lazy -- maybe they are just more relaxed than the rest of us.
These people are probably quite trustworthy, but well, I don't know any ISFPs. And also, I think the INFJ will actually get bored with these people, because they refuse to discuss their philosophies with us. What are values if you don't get to refine them and discuss them?
4. ENTJ: Lion
Independent and logical thinkers who are also persuasive leaders, ENTJs are business-minded and ambitious. They refuse to allow any subjective emotion to enter into their decision-making process, and as a result they can be seen as callous and cold. But these fierce individuals tend to be highly effective, successful and incredibly powerful. They are truly the kings of the proverbial jungle.
But we INFJs bow to no king but those worthy of our trust. The xNTJ and xNFJ contrast is the biggest contrast between any single swap of letters. xNTJs are often the coldest and most calculated individuals who hold little stock for emotions. They can understand them, but they think emotions to be useless and redundant, like xNTPs. xNFJs, on the other hand, believe emotions to be very important and crucial to a person's identity and well-being. Therefore, I feel like I would really dislike ENTJs whereas ENFJs are on the other end. ENTJs are like...huge jackasses.
5. ISFJ: Deer
ISFJs are quiet, observant and thoughtful. They are interested in maintaining order and harmony, avoiding fast-moving cars, and respecting everyone's feelings. They are often described by the few people who know them deeply as being incredibly sensitive and trustworthy.
Well, even before I got to know her deeply I was already under the impression that she's someone who is very sensitive, trustworthy and also, very caring to those who she has let in. Glad that my intuition did not screw up there.
6. INTJ: Octopus
INTJs are independent types, wildly intelligent and creative -- but rather uninterested in what anyone else is doing. They are often considered the most independent of all the personality types, and they work best when given freedom. They are acutely aware of their own intelligence, as well as what they don't know, and their passion often lies in conceptualising ideas and processing complex theories.
I have no idea what compelled me to confide in an INTJ, when it's a bad idea to do. Okay, not a bad idea in the sense they will exploit what you told them...they are just bad at offering advice or even bothering about what you told them. INTJs, like ENTJs, give no stock for emotions, but are less arrogant and obnoxious...at least on the outside.
7. ISTP: Cat
ISTPs are an interesting study in contrasts: they are naturally quiet and analytic, often drawn to the field of engineering or trying to figure out how boxes work. But they are also explorers who can easily become bored with a single routine. ISTPs are often closet daredevils drawn to racing, bungee jumping, or jumping off of high countertops. They are "live and let live" types who are not particularly concerned with rules or regulations and would prefer that others not concern themselves with their behaviour as well. Some have even remarked that "don't tread on me" is the perfect ISTP motto.
Oh, I would definitely know because my mom's an ISTP. Who decided to go skydiving in New Zealand? Not me. If I want to die, I want to die because I intended to, not because I did something stupid and threw my life away. She just laughed and said it won't happen. Yeah, most terrifying moment of my life...I enjoyed it but it was still terrifying. My mom was just laughing the whole time. Live in the moment and don't let anyone get in your way. That's the way my mom thinks. She cares little about what other people think of her and that's impressive, but that also causes problems.
8. ESFP: Otter
ESFPs live in the moment and want to experience life at 100 mph. They are incredibly playful, generous and optimistic. They love being social and having new experiences. Classroom learning is not their strong suit even though they are intelligent and creative -- they would prefer to simply "go with the flow" and have a great time.
These will be fun people to get to know...but I don't think I'll ever be close friends with one. Don't go with the flow, it'll bring you downstream, have some foresight at least. Where do you want to go? Let the current take you that way. ESFPs...maybe a little too light-hearted?
9. INFJ: Wolf
INFJs are value-driven individuals who tend to remain mysterious and complex even after you've become close to one. They are often creative and inspired individuals. They are good at perceiving emotions and are sensitive to the feelings of others, but they are not very prone to revealing much of themselves until they trust someone completely. That said, they are intensely interested in the well-being of others and are often seen as protectors as well as natural leaders.
I feel like I've won a lottery, yet I don't feel like it was unexpected. When I was younger, in other words when my intuition was intact and not damaged, I've always felt a certain sort of kinship with wolves. They are amazing creatures who are both independent and solitary, and caring and protective. Wolves are a mystery to humans, they can be exceeding gentle but also fiercely protective. Not to mention, they are the ancestor of human's first animal companions. I often dreamt of wolves, and in more recent years, of a particular wolf that always appears at the end of each dream. Intuition or INFJ "psychicness"? I don't know.
And did you know? Wolves are perhaps even more devoted to their mates than humans are? Wolves are one of those animals who choose a mate for life and are entirely devoted to that one mate until death do them apart.
Wolves converse through nudging and body contact. Wolf mates often touch at the muzzle and while the picture may not be too clear, both interpretations that can be derived reflect care. If you see the picture as the black wolf biting at the muzzle of the white wolf, it's an act of trust on the white wolf's part and playfulness between the two wolves. If you see it as the white wolf placing its muzzle under the black wolf's, in wolf speech, it's an act of encouragement, by lifting the black wolf's muzzle higher to increase confidence.
And well, this one is easy. It's "I'll protect you".
10. ENFP: Dolphin
Creative and contagiously happy, ENFPs have boundless energy and an appetite for learning about new things and meeting new people. They bring joy to others and are keenly perceptive to the needs of those around them. They are vivacious and popular enthusiasts. ENFPs tend to get bored easily, and they are always ready for the latest and the greatest in friends, relationships, experiences and ocean jumping.
Oh well, if an INFJ can lose her intuitive abilities, then an ENFP can lose his optimism as well. Life changes people and the time where your MBTI is most pure is probably at a young age. Of course, your MBTI never changes and is always lying under all that change that pain has brought to you. When people speak of MBTI flaws, I don't think it's a flaw with MBTI. It's more of a flaw with how people interpret MBTI. Just because you can't understand something doesn't mean it's wrong.
11. ESTJ: Honey Bee
ESTJs are civic-minded workers who strive to improve society and like to be part of organisations and governments. They are often conservative and they are strong believers in the letter of law, and the importance of procedures. They are practical and straightforward, and have little use for "expanding their mind" or having new experiences. They are, however, outgoing and they have no problem with clearly communicating their needs and desires to others.
So they are boring, narrow-minded and may accidentally tell your secrets? Doesn't sound like the best marketing campaign, don't you think?
12. ISTJ: Beaver
ISTJs are logical and word-working conservative types. They enjoy organisation and regulation, and have a reputation for being serious individuals who take a practical approach to everything. They are dependable and thorough, sensible and earnest. Like a beaver hard at work on its dam, they are know for being incredibly dedicate workers who will do whatever is needed to get the job done. On the negative side, they have good intentions but can sometimes have a difficult time understanding the emotional needs of others.
Probably the type to sit next to you and constantly remind you of the homework you haven't done, the test you haven't prepared for and doesn't understand that you really don't care. Probably very annoying, probably too proper for you to be properly angry at. Sigh, these kind of people.
13. ENFJ: Dog
ENFJs are social butterflies who are cheerleaders and supporters of a wide variety of friends and acquaintances. They hate bullying and they love to greet their loved ones with a face lick and a tail wag. They feel good when the people around them feel good and they tend to adapt to the group that they are in very quickly, even adopting the values of whoever they are surrounded by. They are loyal and expect loyalty from others -- think of them as the living embodiment of a "team player".
I will try to redeem the honour of our extroverted domestic counterparts by changing the breed of the dog. The website used a Corgi and that's quite insulting. I know...Corgis are short with stubby legs and look super adorable running down stairs because they look insanely imbalanced, but just to preserve the ego of the ENFJs, I'll use a Golden Retriever instead.
Wolves are cautious of dogs, did you know that? Wolves cannot understand how their domestic cousins can trust these...four-legged creatures so easily. How can you befriend them? They will betray you, they will hurt you. Come to the pack, our Alpha will take care of you. Why do you return to the humans? Have you lost that sense of independence, pup?
I think the dynamic between wolves and dogs is interesting and it does represent the INFJ and ENFJ very well. The INFJ is private and quiet, like the wolf, who sees the ENFJ as disturbingly social, just like how wolves cannot understand the dogs' obsession with humans. Wolves are easily suspicious, even of dogs, even if they ultimately know they are of no harm. Same with INFJs. We know and we can feel that the ENFJ means no harm, but because of their openness and their sociability, there is a sense of suspicion and doubt that arises, not because of the ENFJ, but because the INFJ fears he/she might have said too much. Just like how the wolf fears it may have ventured too far beyond comfortable borders following the dog.
ENFJs are curious about INFJs, why they are so secretive, why are they so suspicious? Dogs are like that too. In documentaries between non-hostile dog and wolf pairs, the dog often tries to lead the wolf pack to the humans with them, only for the wolf to stop, growl, bare their teeth before turning tail back into the safety of the forest. The dog doesn't leave and waits where it is and the wolf, being a very curious animal, comes back but still doesn't cross the boundary it has set.
14. INFP: Meerkat
INFPs are deeply ethical and idealistic, loyal to their family and closest friends, and guided by their desire to live a life according to their values. They are curious about those around them, but will not accept threats to the security of their adorable babies or their morals.
INFJs easily mistype at INFPs and I can see why. While the description of an INFP does match, the emphasis is on different things. I have done an earlier post about INFP vs INFJ and I'm very convinced that while my intuition is not on point anymore, I am more INFJ than INFP anyday. INFPs are...selfish? But that's a choice and if you choose to value your emotions over others' then I'll respect your choice.
15. ENTP: Parrot
ENTPs prize intelligence and competence over all other things (both in themselves and in others). They are often described as witty, clever, cerebral and resourceful. They are verbally inclined and they often have a perverse sense of humour. ENTPs like to analyse every side of an issue and are creative thinkers and workers. They sometimes chatter.
This feels wrong somehow, because the ENTP I know cares quite a lot about feelings, although only so that she can rationalise them. But chattering is right. She tends to start a topic and go on and on about it herself without needing feedback or not even giving them for feedback. It's quite scary and weird. Aren't you scared that I will lose focus?
16. ESFJ: Elephant
ESFJs are genuine and authentic, and they care deeply about those around them. These are the kind of individuals who bring out the best in those around them, and they are serious about loyalty and responsibility to their families, friends and co-workers. They are generous and they love to bring joy to others, but they are also sensitive and easily hurt. ESFJs are often blind to the flaws of those they love and are incredibly trusting and full of love.
I don't like elephants or herbivores in general, but that's just me. It confuses me when something is born that big and strong, and yet does nothing but graze on plants. It isn't violence I'm looking for, because wolves aren't violent, but it just doesn't make a lot of sense. But yes, elephants are gentle animals, the gentle giants and are one of those animals who care a lot about family...like the wolf. Unlike the wolf, elephants do not have internal hierarchy, so they don't put each other in their place using violence...like wolves do when necessary.
3. MBTI Assholes
ENTP: Will argue with you until you cry/die and love every second of it. Most likely live by the phrase "sleep is for the weak".
INTP: Question everything you say or do, even if they don't say it out loud. They usually won't because it takes a small army to get them to interact with people.
INTJ: The most pretentious people you will ever meet. Also, nerds. Really really gigantic super nerds.
ENTJ: Evil masterminds. Most likely to keep a list of all their friends' weaknesses or marry for money.
ESTJ: They're the BOSS! And they want you to follow the RULES! NOW!
ISTJ: Will do anything an authority figure tells them to do. Anything. Also, they don't understand sensitivity. Most likely to think you're weird.
ISTP: Quietly breaks every single real because fuck you. Probably building or fixing something somewhere.
ESTP: Dumb jock probably. Wants you to pay attention to them while they make something or fuck around.
ESFP: Most likely to yell "WOOOOOO!!! SPRING BREAK FOREVER!!!" while shirtless and drinking shots off a zebra or something else obnoxious. Secretly sensitive.
ISFP: Want their spirit to floooow with the wind. Probably a hippie. No, definitely a hippie. Needs FREEDOM!!! or they'll cry.
INFP: The most emo people alive. Seriously, so emo. They will believe in you SOOO much but won't tell you because they only talk to people once every century.
ENFP: Have worse attention spans than goldfish. Need everyone to think they're awesome and will cry if you criticise them at all.
ENFJ: Never ask them to make a decision because they just can't. Super exhausting because they are CONSTANTLY trying to improve something. Gross.
INFJ: Will try to save you and everyone else in the world. Don't ever try to convince them or anything because they will never ever change their own ideas or morals.
ISFJ: Disgustingly organised and dutiful. Secretly huge cry babies, but they'll never confront you if you make them upset. Never.
ESFJ: Probably considers themselves sensitive but they're not. They want to take care of 900000 people and have most likely told you what to do before.
4. My Fellow INFJ Hero
There was this one post I did where they ranked the most to least like MBTI types to tell if someone has a crush on them. Just because we have Ni as dominant followed by an F which is good for emotions, that person immediately ranked INFJ as the top. And then another person went and placed as top few on "Most Likely to Tell Someone if They Have a Crush" aka "Most Likely to Confess". My hero, a fellow INFJ, gave this amazing response that I'm just going to leave here because it's so accurate it makes me feel less lonely. You are crazy to think us INFJs confess without sitting on it for hours on end as if we don't have anything else to do.
"I think INFJs are least likely to tell someone if they have a crush on them. We often need to know that the feelings are reciprocated before opening up about our feelings that we tend to keep extremely private and to ourselves. INFJs are also sensitive to rejection (especially from the people we adore) so telling someone that we love them and then having that not returned is just a terrifying concept. If an INFJ straight out tells you they love you, and you know it's not just in a friend way, then they really REALLY love you. They see a future with you, a life with you, and it's sort of creepy, but that INFJ has probably devoted much thinking to it. Those words don't come easily to INFJs and are only reserved for those they're in love with."
Thank you, my fellow INFJ. Only a fellow INFJ can come to understand how much risk we throw ourselves into when confessing without absolute confirmation about things. The amount of armour we tear off, the extreme state of vulnerability and the embarrassment because we rarely take off our defences. It's the kind of anxiety that can arrest all our cognitive functions, impressive since INFJs just don't stop thinking. But INFJ is not the most passive MBTI type, so when we think it's worth it, we will still do it.
5. Things You Should Definitely Not Say to the MBTI Types
ENFP: You're boring and unoriginal.
Wow, you shit. I'm just too original for your tiny brain to comprehend, bitch!
INFP: What you just said doesn't matter.
Hey, apologise to poor INFP! INFP's going to cry!
ENFJ: Your friendship means nothing me.
OMG, OUCH. I would go find my nearest emo corner and sit there with the rainclouds over my head. I'm a terrible friend...why am I such a shit...
INFJ: You won't do anything meaningful with your life.
And that's what I tell myself every night! Yay! An INFJ without a cause to work towards is a formula for disaster.
ESFP: I don't like you.
Well, okay then. But if you want my help, I'll be here.
ISFP: I wish you wouldn't talk about yourself so much.
Hey, shut up insensitive jerk! Be honoured that ISFP trusts you with her personal stuff!
ESTP: Nothing you do is very impressive.
That's also because it's so impressive you can't understand it anymore.
ISTP: You're actually awful at your hobbies.
Erm ok? Then I'll just do them more until I get better?
ENTP: You should give your opinion less, because you're usually wrong.
Oh you won't have that problem with me, I assure you. Because once I'm wrong, I will shut up for the rest of eternity.
INTP: Nothing you've made is special.
Everything is special, you shit head. Apologise.
ENTJ: I'm going to have to redo everything you just did, it's not good enough.
Okay, go ahead.
INTJ: You're not as smart as you think you are.
Well, stupid people think they are smart and smart people know they are still lacking, so yeah.
ESFJ: This is all your fault.
It is MY fault! Don't blame it on ESFJ, you shit! Okay, what happened even?
ISFJ: I wish you wouldn't talk to me or help me.
Be appreciative, you insolent asshat.
ESTJ: You're not good enough.
As long as I can become good enough.
ISTJ: It doesn't look like you tried.
Then you're blind. Don't listen to him, ISTJ, you're doing fine.
6. Opinions of an INTJ (Which is similar to INFJ, except minus emotion, plus insensitivity)
ESTP: You're all over the place. Please stop flirting with everyone. Are you even aware you're doing that? I can't tell if you're genuinely that shallow or it it's an act. I'm going to go with an act because I know you're not an idiot.
ESTJ: For the love of God, please stop micro-managing. You are not in control of the fate of the world. Stop inflicting your personal opinions on everybody else. Have some fun in your life and break a rule or four.
ESFP: Feelings. Feeling everywhere. Stop trying to rationalise your feelings into facts. Life is not a competition to prove you're the best at everything.
ESFJ: You probably cry too much about things you cannot control. Stop caring about what other people think and stop letting it affect your personal decisions.
ENTP: You're terrifying. The conviction you have for the randomest little things is so intense. How do you even do that? I think you like seeing how far you can push other people and I can respect that. Are you just passionate or intense? I can't tell if you genuinely care about anything. You just like arguing and are scarily good at it.
ENTJ: Probably the best public speakers. Maybe because you're speaking to a collective group and not to individuals (which you're a bit worse at). You belittle people unintentionally but it's like a contest trying to get your respect and that's fun.
ENFP: Please calm down and stop jumping or flailing for like ten seconds. You're such great, deep thinkers but most people don't see that side of you because they only see how distracted you get by small animals and random trinkets. You're probably the best at bringing out feelings in INTJs who like to pretend they have none. Also, dark ENFPs are great. It's a tiny bit disconcerting how you can go from the actual personification of bubbles to bitter and snide and mean in like ten seconds.
ENFJ: You're so nice and thus friends with everyone and while I like ENFJ's, I will probably hate all of your friends and still avoid you. Also, are you aware that you're constantly flirting? You're too nice not to be.
ISTP: Probably the reason I'll end up in jail. Stop encouraging me to have fun, because your idea of fun is usually trespassing or vandalism. Are all ISTPs a bit sociopathic? Yes. Probably yes. Is there anything you care about? Probably not. You'll end up selling your things and being homeless for fun.
ISTJ: So similar and yet so boring. Good minions. Great at filing things mindlessly without questioning anything. I admire the way you can make your enemies lives a living hell.
ISFP: Such hipsters. You blog is probably not all that original, stop trying to write poetry. You're not "tragically misunderstood".
ISFJ: So maternal. You could be maternal to a full-grown liger (and yes I know that, scientifically, ligers are never full-grown as they lack the genes to stop them from growing). Of all the feeling types, you're among the best at compartmentalising.
INTP: You bother me with your P-ness. You're so organised in your mind. Like a cyborg. A friendly cyborg, usually. The actual best liars. You may be so good at lying because you don't see it as lying, just telling the truth from an incorrect perspective.
INTJ: Actual line of thoughts whilst meeting an INTJ: Another me? Hopefully not. Or hopefully yes? Will we be friends? I wouldn't be friends with myself. Maybe I can use them, but maybe they're thinking that of me. I should probably stay on their good side. Damn they probably already thought that. Maybe I should avoid them. I might need them though? Or not. What is they're more INTJ. We should be frenemies and play chess while scheming against each other. Like Moriarty and Sherlock, or Xavier and Magneto, or L and Light.
INFP: You're all so cute and sweet and awwww. I will bet like ten dollars you have a random sketchbook/notebook filled with either: song lyrics/music, drawings/designs, poetry/stories, etc. You've probably invented a secret code/language at some point. I bet as a kid you created weird imaginary worlds (you probably still do).
INFJ: YOU'RE SO SIMILAR BUT SO DIFFERENT. HOW? Your feelings are too much, please stop for your own sake. NOT EVERYTHING IS PERSONAL AND EVERYBODY IS NOT OUT TO GET YOU. You're pretty special but you're not alone at all. You emit feelings like a weird radio frequency.
7. What the MBTI Types Do If They Like You
ISFP: Inserts themselves into the same social circle with you regularly until the two of you inevitably hookup.
Hello? That's really rude, you know. You were not invited into the circle so sit down and wait for your goddamn invitation. This is like some infiltration mission to kidnap the boss of a company.
ESFP: Puts X's at the end of all text message and finds fifteen excuses a day to hug you.
Okay, please stop touching me. I don't like it when people I'm uncomfortable with touch me. Not even a finger on my shoulder. DON'T TOUCH ME. Unless I touch you first, then yes, that's your "go ahead".
ENFP: Teases you mercilessly and uncharacteristically does not flake on any of your plans.
Probably hurt my feelings and cannot tell because I'm hiding it, but it's ENFP, so they probably can tell. I don't know.
ISTJ: Rearranges their schedule in order to spend more time around you but fiercely denies their attraction until you make it clear as day that you're interested in them.
Ermmm...dandere? Anyway, if you like someone, shouldn't you fit them into your schedule regardless? And I don't even have fixed schedules so...what am I talking about. All I have are vague ones...fixed schedules are boring.
ESTJ: Orders you to go on a date with them.
Oh, you want to play it this way? No.
INTP: Is actually motivated to spend time with you, especially if they don't know you very well. Stares at you when you're talking as though they are studying you.
Ermmmm...stop staring at me. When I mean don't touch me, I should include staring too intently as well.
ENTP: Finds out exactly what makes you tick and then uses it to convince you that YOU like THEM.
Manipulative bastards!
ESTP: Shows off in front of you at every available opportunity.
*Raises an eyebrow* You're trying too hard. Please stop embarrassing yourself.
ISTP: Becomes uncharacteristically protective of you.
I can take care of myself. Thank you.
ESFJ: Ask you ten thousand questions about yourself and remember every. Single. Answer.
Oh shit, watch out. They probably have notebooks filled with your personal information too. Scary.
ENFJ: Somehow gets you to open up abut your deepest childhood trauma over coffee.
"-And that's why I...WAIT, WHY AM I TELLING YOU THIS?!"
ENTJ: Takes you out to dinner and grills you about your long-term goals.
I'm sorry, boss, I ain't made any progress on my life.
ISFJ: Develops a keen interest in everything you've ever even remotely mentioned liking.
That's actually quite nice...but creepy.
INFP: Writes about you on their secret blog while fantasising that you've been following it all along and will write back.
INFP, listen to me. You need to stop being so creepy. It's not a secret if it's a blog. You know you run the risk of it being read. If you want him/her to read it, then tell him/her to do it. I don't know what you are trying to accomplish here. Is it a fantasy of yours that I cannot understand? Sheesh, you guys are really creepy on a whole other level! ...And I know an INFP that does that. *shudders* Can't believe I mistypes as INFP.
INFJ: Gives you a look that implies they are staring directly into you soul without collecting $200 or passing "Go".
By inference, I think you mean we stare so hard that we should go to jail for it. Come on, I watch everyone closely, because I think that's less intrusive. This is way less creepy than INFP, ok? They are like, #1 creepy MBTI.
INTJ: Let's you touch them without cringing. And/or replies "Yes" when asked directly whether or not they like you.
Very dull, but so very similar. You guys have the same hypersensitivity to touch, but are emotionless robots. How does that work?
No comments:
Post a Comment