INFJ Compatibility (All 16 Types)

     I'm feeling the start of a depressive episode again and I will keep this a rather short one. The bad gut feeling I'm getting is starting to worsen and I cannot help but feel like I'm actually the root cause of whatever horrible thing is about to unfold. Fortunately, my intuition is also telling me that the negative effects of whatever situation is limited to me, so I guess I'm not altogether too worried.

INFJ Compatibility with All 16 Types

1. INFJ and ISTJ
How the relationship works: ISTJs and INFJs are both very committed in a relationship and will set clear, concise goals in their own heads of where a relationship is going. They love to go out and do things together and will have the best time just hanging out. They've been known to surprise one another with small, delicate acts of kindness. They will thrive best in a long-term relationship and can work as a dynamite team to build a home together. Dedicated and truthful, this team can really work together to create beautiful things.

Why the relationship may not work out: INFJs and ISTJs are both pretty good liars and they are totally cool with hiding things from one another. Unfortunately, they both like to be told the direct truth. They are also both very good at arguing and will take everything personally in a clash. They both are prone to trust issues and while INFJs are very artistic with speaking, ISTJs like to simply get to the point of it all. Communication can be a major issue in this manner.

How to keep it: ISTJ and INFJs have got to work together as a team to solve problems; they can't just fight all the time, As much as it may make the ISTJ uncomfortable, sitting down and talking about feelings is completely necessary. INFJs may need to be completely literal in important situations so that all feelings are conveyed accurately. Small acts of romanticism and words of confirmation will help this couple to succeed.

My Opinion: I know 0 ISTJs, which means that any judgement I pass is theoretical. I assume that ISTJs are generally those kind of humble, hardworking and serious people, which means we aren't exactly very compatible. I agree that such a relationship will work in the long-term, probably because those qualities of ISTJs make them stable and reliable, but I may get bored with them after a while. Still, it's theoretical and if my guess of a particular person's MBTI is correct, they aren't that boring...they can be surprisingly fun once in a blue moon.

2. INFJ and ISFJ
How the relationship works: ISFJs and INFJs are naturally incredibly nurturing and will take incredibly good care of one another. They both are very empathetic and love to work things out in bad situations. ISFJs and INFJs both love to showcase their appreciation and service towards their mates. INFJs love nothing better than being appreciated an the ISFJ makes it known when an INFJ is making them happy. They will do best in a long-term relationship and are often an inspiration to those who know them.

Why the relationship may not work out: INFJs love to be relevant and interesting, so they have to prove to their mate that they are fascinating through little "tests". The ISFJ, however, probably won't take particular interest in such tests. Because they are both naturally quiet, they don't dig deep into each other's personalities often. INFJs can be cold and often feel numb, which confuses the ISFJ and may hurt their feelings. The ISFJ needs rules and often does not appreciate the INFJs intuitive nature.

How to keep it: The ISFJ in this relationship has to prove just how much they love their INFJ. The INFJ must be forgiving and open-minded with their ISFJ, accepting their differences. The INFJ must try their hardest not to be too stubborn and explain their feelings carefully. Since they both take things very personally, they should avoid personal insults when fighting and think carefully about every word said. With caution, this couple can thrive together.

My Opinion: Caution isn't exactly my strongest suit and it is a fact that my ISFJ friend and I seem to take pleasure in hurling insults at each other. Funny enough that both of us are overly sensitive, yet we insist on hurting each other. Perhaps it's a way of helping each other grow. Theoretically, I think I would be utter impatient with the ISFJ, because their dominant Si function makes it impossible for me to explain what my Ni has imparted to me. More often than not, I would probably just choose to keep quiet.

3. INFJ and ESTJ
How the relationship works: INFJs and ESTJs are both very giving and dedicated to their relationships, so they take care of one another very well and work hard to keep fires burning. They love to solve problems and value working things out with one another, so even if communication is a bit off, they try their best. The ESTJ's logical side gives INFJs a sense of clarity and security in the relationship, which is very important.

Why the relationship may not work out: ESTJs are often very bold and can intimidate the usually quiet INFJ. INFJs have many feelings that randomly surface and it can confuse and frustrate the ESTJ. INFJs don't like to be bossed around and because they are highly empathetic, they may find the ESTJ to be insensitive or cruel. The ESTJ may see the INFJ as too sensitive or boring.

How to keep it: ESTJs need to watch what they say and how they act, because the INFJ is easily damaged. INFJs need to be very, very clear and logical while explaining their feelings to the ESTJ. The ESTJ simply cannot boss the INFJ around and must watch their words carefully or explosive fights could break out. INFJs need to understand that ESTJs are not heartless and the ESTJs need to prove it. With communication, this couple is unstoppable.

My Opinion: I do know a particular ESTJ guy from quite long ago and I must say, I had absolutely no interest in him beyond being an acquaintance. It is true that I think he is extremely insensitive and cruel and it is also true that he tends to say things that hurt me, not knowing he did so. I think the problem with ESTJ is that their outer personality naturally repels me. It takes honest effort and conscious need for me to willingly approach an ESTJ and I think for an ESTJ, INFJ is just not interesting enough.

4. INFJ and ESFJ
How the relationship works: ESFJs make their INFJ mate feel incredibly important and will soothe their worries easily. The INFJ will feel safe and nurtured when an ESFJ is looking out for them. The INFJ will fascinate the ESFJ, like a puzzle that must be solved. The INFJ can usually read the ESFJ like a book and will enjoy the simplicity and laid-back nature of their relationship. The INFJ is very happy to come out of their shell for the ESFJ and they are very supportive of one another.

Why the relationship may not work out: INFJs get bored easily and don't like routines if they are not actively engaging. They are quickly frustrated with the ESFJ's logical way of thinking and often write them off as "slow". The ESFJ is very sensitive and definitely will take everything the INFJ says to heart, which is highly unhealthy. If they fight, both of their sensitive sides will clash and everyone will get hurt.

How to keep it: INFJs must be very careful with their actions and words when around their ESFJ partner and look carefully for certain triggers. ESFJs must try not to take everything to heart and must tolerate an INFJs words and actions reasonably. The INFJ needs to learn to appreciate what they DO have, most likely unconditional love. When they are careful with their words, this couple is truly beautiful together.

My Opinion: Yes, I agree that ESFJs are extremely easy to read, but that isn't a bad thing. It's probably because of this obviousness that INFJs are willing to open up to ESFJ - they know that if ESFJ's have ill intentions, it will not escape their intuition. I do agree that I'm comfortable confiding in the ESFJ, knowing that she will show compassion and while she will judge quite harshly, will never betray. Also, if she intends to betray, it's easy to tell anyway. Still, I think it's part of the INFJ personality to not confide anything unless asked...and even then, I may not tell. INFJs have serious trust issues.

5. INFJ and ISTP
How the relationship works: ISTPs think intuition and whim is very admirable and love to be taken on adventures. INFJs love to explain and show things to eager ISTPs, who will remember special details and make the INFJ feel unique. They are both very humorous people and they love to laugh and play. Because they both love to listen, trusting one another is easy. They are both a bit competitive, but mostly in a playful way.

Why the relationship may not work out: ISTPs are generally much more laid-back than the INFJs and will find their worrying and analysing very frustrating. ISTPs often have trouble wrapping their minds around just how deep an INFJ can be. Likewise, INFJs find ISTPs vapid and shallow often. They are both needy and clingy not letting go of one another. This can often lead to an unhealthy obsession. ISTPs like to be busy and probably won't make time for the INFJ, who enjoys quality time best of all.

How to keep it: INFJs need to take deep breaths, relax and trust that an ISTP can take care of them. ISTPs can, and most likely will, return the favour. INFJs have a light, playful side to them that they need to let show when they are around an ISTP. By reminding themselves daily why they love each other with gifts or words of confirmation, each member of the couple brings joy into one another's lives.

My Opinion: My mom is an ISTP and this is very true, actually. I do think my mom can be very shallow and judgemental, and has the tendency to be very clingy. I also find a lot of joy in explaining things that my mom doesn't know and I have quite a bit of knowledge in. Competition probably runs in the genes, so that's another thing. Still, I think maybe I wouldn't like an ISTP because of the busy part. My mom tends to bury herself in work to distract herself from stress, I'm quite the opposite. Because of that, the INFJ who values her ability to offer support and comfort would feel neglected when the ISTP doesn't turn to her for help.

6. INFJ and ISFP
How the relationship works: In this relationship, there are always things to talk about and do together. INFJs and ISFPs are intrigued with each other's depth and enjoy one another's company immensely. ISFPs live in the moment and its fun for an INFJ to experience that kind of lifestyle. They look after one another always and are very in tune with each other.

Why the relationship may not work out: They get bored with one another easily. Both have manipulative tendencies, but the INFJ will usually keep theirs under wraps unless seriously hurt. ISFPs can be backstabbers and INFJs find them immature often. ISFPs want to read the INFJ as they do other types, but the INFJ is too difficult to read most of the time. Frustration can quickly take hold of this relationship.

How to keep it: These two need to keep things fun and lively. ISFPs are not always willing to dedicate and must prove to their INFJ lover that they really are going to stick around. Trust issues will arise if INFJ feels uncertain of their love. As long as there is inspiration, the INFJ and the ISFP will get along in harmony and will always have things to talk about.

My Opinion: I don't know any ISFPs, but immaturity does piss me off. I dislike it when people react immaturely to situations and while that is quite hypocritical of me, I purposely do immature things. If a person's immaturity is meant for hurting others, like backstabbing, then it's extremely distasteful. Also, trust issues is something that can greatly impede an INFJ's relationship - platonic and romantic - and I think once ISFP gains distrust from INFJ, the INFJ is unlikely to forget. We forgive, but we don't forget - we don't want to be fooled twice.

7. INFJ and ENFP
How the relationship works: These two personalities have an intense and deep connection to one another. The INFJ will find the ENFP fun and exciting, while the ENFP will be fascinated with the INFJ's depth, interests and life story. They often become very best friends. Expect many long, deep conversations and a lot of dedication on both ends.

Why the relationship may not work out: The ENFP may get bored with the INFJ, thinking that they don't really care about what the ENFP has to say. The INFJ may think that the ENFP is vapid and doesn't actually care either. They are both highly sensitive and can get hurt by one another without even knowing it.

How to keep it: INFJs must be flexible and even though they have a lot of self-implemented rules and routines, must be willing to do some pretty spontaneous things from time to time. ENFPs must be focused and respectful of what the INFJ says. They must listen carefully to the INFJ. When this couple is untied as a team, their love is infectious.

My Opinion: I would think that I could get along brilliantly with an ENFP. While INFJs generally get annoyed over people who are overly scatterbrained in times requiring seriousness, ENFPs are a little different because of their "NF" typing. While ENFPs may seem overly laid-back, INFJs are aware that an ENFP who cares is well aware of their feelings and can be relied upon to react intuitively and appropriately. Still, ENFPs probably don't know they have overstepped an INFJ's boundaries until they've already crossed it. Nonetheless, they may still be one of the best matches for INFJs.

8. INFJ and INFJ
How the relationship works: Two heads are better than one. When these personalities meet, they completely understand one another and are intrigued at such a rare, blessed occurrence (male INFJs < 1% of population). They are nurturing, trusting and dedicated. They will take very good care of each other and will succeed in any kind of relationship so long as it is long-lasting.

Why the relationship may not work out: They understand what gets under the other's skin. They understand one another so well that they could simply be the death of each other. They are both stubborn and they both hold a grudge, which means that if fighting starts it may never end. Both are manipulative, they could hurt each other more deeply than almost any other two types could.

How to keep it: Tolerance. When these two don't agree, they must resist their burning urge to argue and working things out in a peaceful manner. If they can achieve peace, this couple is perfection.

My Opinion: Considering that I utterly dislike myself and think that I have horrible character, I would not want to entertain the idea of dealing with another me. It is unsettling to know someone can read me so accurately and the other person will probably think so too. Best for an INFJ to stay away from an INFJ...which is not difficult to do. We are extremely rare after all.

9. INFJ and INFP
How the relationship works: These two understand one another like nothing else and feel a strong connection. They are intrigued with one another's lives and can talk for hours on end. They are both totally willing to go on crazy adventures and always have a lot of fun together. They are both highly nurturing and care for one another in a beautiful fashion.

Why the relationship may not work out: The INFJ and INFP will encourage bad habits in one another simply because they are both so supportive. The INFP may find the INFJ too judgemental or critical and the INFJ may find the INFP to be immature.

How to keep it: These two lovers must learn to accept one another's differences and understand that they cannot change one another. Once they realise this crucial fact, they can work out almost anything together. It is unlikely for them to fall out of love.

My Opinion: In contrast, I think I may dislike an INFP a lot. For one, I'm not for the type of person whose head is so high up in the clouds that they lack the necessary amount of pragmatism for survival. INFJs are idealistic, but INFPs bring it to an extreme that they probably just blind themselves to reality. They may be one of the only types that understand INFJs, but it doesn't mean that they make good partners. INFPs are unstable and unreliable when it comes down to it, lacking the kind of last-minute initiative that INFJs are bound to have even in the worst situations. Still, for a friendship, INFP is probably one of the best choices.

10. INFJ and ENTP
How the relationship works: These two are electric together. They are both very self-aware and deep, and will enjoy lots of long conversations. Both logical and cautious, they can talk everything out with one another and will trust the other one carefully. They enjoy spending quality time together, no matter the activity and care very careful not to trample on one another's feelings.

Why the relationship may not work out: The often intuitive, extroverted ENTP may intimidate or downright frighten the often quiet, anxious INFJ. The pair will also have the tendency to overanalyse each other and instead of reading between the lines, will just hurt one another's feelings.

How to keep it: The ENTP has to be very gentle and cautious with the INFJ until trust is earned on both ends of the deal. They must try to communicate carefully and not overanalyse things the other one says. If they can do this, their relationship is truly admirable.

My Opinion: Although in my group of friends, my relationship with the ENTP may seem less deep than others, in my opinion, she is probably the one person who can read me accurately without me having to reveal much. It was very unnerving at first, how she was so intuitive, but I had quickly come to appreciate that intuition of hers. In contrast to an ENFP, whose method of comforting an INFJ may be through appealing to emotions, ENTP comforts an INFJ by using logic and bringing the INFJ back to earth. In my opinion, an ENTP is the best match for INFJ...except I know no male ENTPs.

11. INFJ and ESTP
How the relationship works: ESTPs love to take their companions on adventures and will surprise their INFJ with small gifts and gestures. The INFJ loves to nurture and the ESTP just can't get enough of their kind, caring spirit. The INFJ is an excellent listener and an ESTP can pour their heart and soul out to one easily. They often find themselves to be best friends.

Why the relationship may not work out: ESTPs usually have trouble settling down and staying dedicated while the INFJ is always searching for clarity and closure. An ESTP may be flighty in a relationship and may make jokes that the carefully-trusting INFJ just can't take. The ESTP is generally very social, but INFJs need lots of time alone to regenerate. This can cause a lot of confusion and frustration. ESTPs will constantly urge the INFJ out of their shell and it may make the INFJ feel distrusted.

How to keep it: ESTPs need to make sure that they are dedicated to the relationship and want it to be long-lasting before doing anything else, because most INFJs have strong emotional attachments that can't be tampered with. Then, the couple will need to work on communication and work out some sort of system for getting along. If they can work together, they can prove to the world that opposites can really attract.

My Opinion: Although I don't know any ESTPs, I have a feeling that there is one around me and we just don't have common ground. ESTPs are flighty and I dislike flighty people, because it means they can't be trusted. I'll certainly be willing to listen and accept an ESTP's rantings, providing support where needed, but I would have an extra thick wall built around my feelings and thoughts. I understand it is a preference of the ESTP to be flighty and non-committal and I respect that, so I expect the ESTP to respect that because of that, I cannot trust them and will not get close to them.

12. INFJ and ENTJ
How the relationship works: These two personality types are both prone to ration and logic, and make great decisions when their heads are put together. The authoritative ENTJ will probably make most decisions in the relationship, but if they have earned the INFJ's trust, it is a very good idea to be organised that way. An INFJ will feel safe and secure, while the ENTJ will feel appreciated and trusted. Both intelligent and responsible, they usually make great, safe decisions throughout their relationships.

Why the relationship may not work out: INFJs are very sensitive to criticism and ENTJs consider that simply a part of everyday life. If the ENTJ is not careful they could easily hurt the INFJs feelings and an INFJ is very likely to hold long-lasting grudges. ENTJs can also begin to find the usually quiet INFJs boring, while an INFJ may consider an ENTJ brash and cruel. When these two fight, they do not hold back, INFJs can manipulation ENTJs easily most of the time and their expectations in a romantic relationships are often much too high for an ENTJ to fulfill.

How to keep it: Despite both type's tendencies to be rational, they sure don't show it when fighting or holding grudges. In any situation where ideals clash, they need to take a step back and talk reasonable with one another. The ENTJ needs to be gentle and nurturing in order to get an INFJ out of their shell and cannot demand. Likewise, the INFJ needs to try not to idolise their partner, as they are prone to do and accept their faults. The ENTJ may lead the way, but if they intimidate the INFJ, things can never go right. Communication will be the key to pulling through and securing a wonderful relationship.

My Opinion: I think ENTJs will make great bosses, but not someone I want to know personally. ENTJs are quite judgemental, quick to criticise and very bossy. INFJs think that while judgements should be made, they must be changed on occasion and don't take criticisms well. Also, INFJs aren't a leader type or a follower type, but more of a lone wolf. In other words, I think this is a terrible matchup.

13. INFJ and ENFJ
How the relationship works: Both types are very nurturing, warm and thoughtful. They have a deep, intense connection and will almost always make time for one another. The ENFJ's warm, accepting nature makes it easy for the INFJ to come out of their shell. Meanwhile, the INFJ's self-knowing nature can teach an ENFJ to take time for themselves. An INFJ can really teach an ENFJ who they truly are inside.

Why the relationship may not work out: An ENFJ may get disheartened with an INFJ's quiet nature and may find them to be cold at times. ENFJs don't usually need as much time to regenerate as an INFJ and it may make them feel unloved or unappreciated. Meanwhile, the INFJ can often feel as though an ENFJ is prying and that makes them feel exposed.

How to keep it: Both types need to be sensitive and intimate towards one another in order to get their relationship off the ground. ENFJs need to accept INFJs as they come and INFJs need to be patient with ENFJs. They are simply curious most of the time and such curiosity can drive their lives to be a fantastic adventure.

My Opinion: I've read the saying somewhere that "INFJs are the world's counsellors, but who counsels the INFJ? ENFJ does that. ENFJs are the world's teachers, but who teaches the ENFJ? INFJ is the best for that." That's probably quite true but in my absolute cynicism right now, I would like to point out -- I'm sorry, get their relationship off the ground? I think it's buried two million feet underground right now, I can't see it.

14. INFJ and INTJ
How the relationship works: INTJs and INFJs are very intuitive and can relate to one another in a lot of ways. They are both generally very caring people and will nurture each other and help one another to blossom. They are very in-tune to one another's emotions and tend to each other's needs with utter selflessness.

Why the relationship may not work out: INFJs are generally moody and emotional, which can really confuse the usually peaceful INTJ. INFJs like to express things through feelings and this can frustrate an INTJ, who just wants things to be explained rationally.

How to keep it: INFJs need to remember to explain things in concise, rational manner in order to provide clarity to a sensitive INTJ. Likewise, INTJs need to be accepting and reasonable when an INFJ is having a bad day. When they work together as a team, they can make this happen easily and their relationship is almost effortless.

My Opinion: I don't know what to say, because the one male INTJ I know is the world's most insensitive and uncaring person. It's not even a personal grudge, it's a totally justified conclusion based on the fact that I can generate a list of evidence on command. The one male INTJ I know is highly unsympathetic to the suffering of others, going so far as to mock and laugh at it, which to an INFJ feels extremely inappropriate and disgusting. INFJs, like all NFs, feel others' emotions deeply and care for them, so an INTJ like that can pose to be a complete opposition to their ideals. However, I have many female INTJ friends and they are all very caring and comforting people. I'm not really sure then.

15. INFJ and INTP
How the relationship works: This pair is honest and trusting of one another. They guard each other's secrets dutifully and carefully, nurturing one another well. INTPs love logical correctness and truth, and make connections that INFJs are simply spellbound by. INFJs inspire the INTP with their wish to do good and their ability to understand abstract concepts. The pair is very in tune with one anotherm and they love one another on a very deep level.

Why the relationship may not work out: INFJs love to read people and the INTP really does not like to get read. They don't feel there needs to be a motivation behind their actions. They can annoy one another easily with miscommunication in situations.

How to keep it: Communication can be a difficult task for this couple, but so long as they consistently work on it and are able to keep their promises, things will flow smoothly and peacefully.

My Opinion: Once again, I know one male INTP and he's nothing like that. This time, it's my dad. My dad absolutely mocks any attempt on my part to do good in the world, dismissing such goals as immature and unworthy. He pursues material success and believes that human relationships exist so we can take advantage of everyone. Still, the few INTP female friends I have prove him to be an anomaly while they follow the general trend. They dislike to be read and while I think it is inherently an INFJ's nature to read people, I have learnt to pretend that I have not read anything.

16. INFJ and ESFP
How the relationship works: INFJs and ESFPs intrigue one another to a wild extent. The ESFP is kindhearted and will take the eager INFJ on countless adventures. Both fascinated by the world, these two will never run out of things to talk about. While the INFJ doesn't always show it, they are both very flirty and have a tone of fun simply being together.

Why the relationship may not work out: ESFPs aren't always super dedicated about relationships and just love a good time. They can often view INFJs as clingy. INFJs also need to build a lot of trust with a person and ESFPs don't understand why the build-up is necessary. INFJs may put up walls away from their ESFP partner because they feel exposed. INFJs often feel frustrated because they believe that ESFPs lack depth, while ESFPs often view INFJs as completely neurotic. INFJs think that ESFPs are immature at times, and ESFPs think that INFJs simply need to lighten up.

How to keep it: Both sides of this relationship need to consider it seriously. INFJs usually want a long-term, dedicated relationship, while most ESFPs want a short-term, fun relationship. If both parties agree on one kind of relationship, the next step is to get real with one another. ESFPs need to take special care to make sure that their INFJ never feels unsafe or vulnerable. ESFPs need to learn how to get serious, while INFJs need to learn to trust that ESFPs have them covered. INFJs have a good sense of humour and letting it shine is especially beneficial for this relationship. INFJs need to have patience and know that ESFPs simply aren't as "deep" as they want their mate to be, while ESFPs need to comfort an INFJ's worries and depressive states of mind. Life isn't always a party, but if this couple makes it through, anything is possible.

My Opinion: I don't know any ESFPs, but going with the usual SF and NF compatibility generalisation, I would soon get frustrated by the ESFP's inability to look below the surface. On top of that, they are Extroverted, which makes it even more impossible for me to like an ESFP because they aren't that trustworthy. Maybe they can be trusted, but you know us INFJs, we can't trust anyone.


Conclusions on Best Matches:
1. ENTP - INFJ
2. ENFP - INFJ
3. ENFJ - INFJ
     All 3 types possess the ability to understand the INFJ's complex inner workings. However, ENTP and ENFP both stand a better chance because of their use of Ne instead of ENFJ's Ni, which allows them greater ability to perceive the INFJ's problems without intrusion. That is also the ENFJ's disadvantage, because an ENFJ lacks the ability to understand without prying and any amount of prying can cause INFJ to be extremely suspicious, especially since we can see the questioning coming before you approach. It's a fight or flight response.

     Furthermore, ENTPs and ENFPs are more decisive and are better equipped at dealing with the INFJ's problems. While ENFJ can understand the problem after a while, they are unable to make a decision on how to tackle it. ENTPs apply logic and drag INFJs back to earth using that logic -- which unlike other T types isn't cold, hard logic. ENFPs try to brighten up the INFJs day with their natural optimism, using emotions rather than logic. ENFJs just don't know what to do and with the prying they had done before, it's unlikely that the INFJ will give them the opportunity to try anything.

In fact, it has been identified that the key reason for an INFJ to be unable to find a partner is due to their trust issues.

Profile of the INFJ #2

     Since I'm in one of those appallingly rare productive moods today, I think I should cut short on the ranting and get on with the post. It's surprising, given that my gut feeling is telling me that something extremely unpleasant is just on the horizon. Not a worldwide crisis, mind you, but deeply personal. I've got that feeling that something is going to unravel soon and I'm going to be extremely hurt by it. I want to believe I'm wrong but in all my years, I've never been proven wrong - my hunches are either proven right or not yet validated.

     That's a story for another day though. 

     When I had mistyped myself as an INFP, I had found researching that particular MBTI type to be utterly fascinating. INFPs are rare, idealistic and have their heads up in the clouds, making them one of the most curious types to know. Still, I had mistyped myself, because unlike the INFP, I am not incapable of taking concrete steps towards my dreams. I know the kind of determination, drive and talent I am capable of having, crippled only by the self-doubt that is a culmination of family pressures.

     Note that things in brackets are my own opinions.     

The INFJ Personality Type     

1. Overview of INFJ, the "Counsellors"

     The INFP personality type is very rare, making up less than one percent of the population, but they nonetheless leave their mark on the world. As Diplomats (NF), they have an inborn sense of idealism and morality, but what sets them apart if the accompanying Judging (J) trait -- INFJs are not idle dreams, but people capable of taking concrete steps to realise their goals and make a lasting positive impact.

     INFJs tend to see helping others as their purpose in life, but while people of this personality type can be found engaging rescue efforts and doing charity work, their real passion is to get to the heart of the issue so that people need not be rescued.

Help Me Help You

     INFJs indeed share a very unique combination of traits: though soft-spoken, they have very strong opinions and will fight tirelessly for an idea they believe in. They are decisive and strong-willed, but will rarely use that energy for personal gain -- INFJs will act with creativity, imagination, conviction and sensitivity not to create advantage, but to create balance. Egalitarianism and karma are very attractive ideas to INFJs, and they tend to believe that nothing would help the world so much as using love and compassion to soften the hearts of tyrants.

     INFJs find it easy to make connections with others, and have a talent for warm, sensitive language, speaking in human terms, rather than with pure logic and facts (Yeah, well. I can't exactly do that in the circumstances I find myself in). It makes sense that their friends and colleagues will come to think of them as quiet Extroverted types, but they would all do well to remember that INFJs need time alone to decompress and recharge, and to not become too alarmed when they suddenly withdraw. INFJs take great care of other's feelings, and they expect the favour to be returned -- sometimes that means giving them the space they need for a few days.

Live to Fight Another Day

     Really though, it is most important for INFJs to remember to take care of themselves (That's selfish though, isn't it? Since I am part of this world, I should prioritise it). The passion of their convictions is perfectly capable of carrying them past their breaking point and if their zeal get out of hand, they can find themselves exhausted, unhealthy and stressed. This becomes especially apparent when INFJs find themselves up against conflict and criticism - their sensitivity forces them to do everything they can to evade these seemingly personal attacks, but when circumstances are unavoidable, they can fight back in highly irrational, unhelpful ways.

     To INFJs, the world is a place full of inequity (I don't know what you mean by "to INFJs", because it is indeed full of inequity) -- but it doesn't have to be (Exactly. If everyone could be a little more accepting, a little more forgiving and a little less selfish). No other personality is better suited to create a movement to right a wrong (...I would think our Extroverted counterparts are better suited...or better equipped), no matter how big or small. INFJs just need to remember that while they're busy taking care of the world, they need to take care of themselves, too (only when it gets out of hand).

2. Strengths and Weakness of the INFJ

INFJ Strengths

a) Creative - Combining a vivid imagination with a strong sense of compassion, INFJs use their creativity to resolve not technical challenges, but human ones. People with the INFJ personality type enjoy finding the perfect solution for someone they care about, and this strength makes them excellent counsellors and advisers.

b) Insightful - Seeing through dishonesty and disingenuous motives, INFJs step past manipulation and sales tactics and into a more honest discussion (and hence, if you want me to call you out on your bullshit, I have them listed in my mind...it just takes a little persuasion because you know...even if I hate you, I don't want to hurt your feelings). INFJs see how people and events are connected, and are able to use that insight to get to the heart of the matter.

c) Inspiring and Convincing - Speaking in human terms, not technical, INFJs have a fluid, inspirational writing style that appeals to the inner idealist in their audience (Really?). INFJs can even be astonishingly good orators, speaking with warmth and passion, if they are proud of what they are speaking of (Note "If they are proud of what they are speaking of"). 

d) Decisive - Their creativity, insight and inspiration are able to have a real impact on the world, as INFJs are able to follow through their ideas with conviction, willpower, and the planning necessary to see complex projects through to the end. INFJs, don't just see the way things ought to be, they act on those insights. (But sadly enough, in the school phase of things, people are often too conforming. Funnily enough, I find greater support and camaraderie for my "movements" in people who are not in my school and those older than me. Those people are really a joy to speak to.)

e) Determined and Passionate - When INFJs come to believe that something is important, they pursue that goal with a conviction and energy that can catch even their friends and loved ones off guard (like when I argued with my dad about being a vet...but was ultimately unsuccessful because my dad is way too pragmatic and stubborn). INFJs will rock the boat if they have to, something not everyone likes to see, but their passion for their chosen cause is an inseparable part of their personality (that's why if I have to settle for a job that makes me turn my back on my beliefs, I'd rather die...or find an alternative...that's more productive).

f) Altruistic - These strengths are used for good. INFJs have strong beliefs and take the actions that they do not because they are trying to advance themselves, but because they are trying to advance an idea that they truly believe will make the world a better place.

INFJ Weaknesses

a) Sensitive - When someone challenges or criticises INFJ's principles or values, they are likely to receive an alarmingly strong response. People with the INFJ personality type are highly vulnerable to criticism and conflict, and questioning their motives is the quickest way to their bad side.

b) Extremely Private - INFJs tend to present themselves as the culmination of an idea. This is partly because they believe in this idea, but also because INFJs are extremely private when it comes to their personal lives, using this image to keep themselves from having to truly open up, even to close friends (definitely guilty of this). Trusting a new friend can be even more challenging for INFJs.

c) Perfectionistic - INFJs are all but defined by their pursuit of ideals. While this is a wonderful quality in many ways, an ideal situation is not always possible -- in politics, in business, in romance -- and INFJs too often drop or ignore healthy and productive situations and relationships, always believing there might be a better option down the road (well, clinging on like a maggot clearly didn't work the one time I tried...so what is your point?).

d) Always Need to Have a Cause - INFJs get so caught up in the passion of their pursuits that any of the cumbersome administrative or maintenance work that comes between them (aka homework) and the ideal they see on the horizon is deeply unwelcome. INFJs like to know that they are taking concrete steps towards their goals, and if routine tasks feel like they are getting in the way, or worse yet, there is no goal at all, they will feel restless and disappointed (and from experience, an INFJ who has lost her cause can easily sink into depression and a loss of purpose in life. Everything I do seems meaningless...like why should I bother if this isn't going to create something better?).

e) Can Burn Out Easily - Their passion, poor patience for routine maintenance (same homework again and again...tell me, how effective is this exactly? Am I getting closer to where I want to be? No.), tendency to present themselves as an ideal, and extremely privacy tend to leave INFJs with few options for letting off steam (I literally have none...but the wall and the pillow). People with this personality type are likely to exhaust themselves in short order if they don't find a way to balance their ideals with the realities of day-to-day living.

3. Romantics Relations and the INFJ

     When it comes to romantic relationships, INFJs take the process of finding a partner seriously. Not ones for casual encounters (So how do you know if an INFJ has snapped from loneliness? When she is so desperate for company that she's just trying everybody), people with the INFJ personality type instead look for depth and meaning in their relationships (if you can't find the depth, then what?). INFJs will take the time necessary to find someone they truly connect with (but I suppose my intuition failed me) -- once they've found that someone, their relationships will reach a level of depth and sincerity that most people can only dream of.

     (At this point, I need a pause. All of these have to do with healthy INFJs, who are not suicidal and depressed. I have reached a point where I'm doubting my ability to judge people, at least when it comes to situations involving myself. INFJs are supposed to be the best out of the 16 MBTIs at sensing attractions between 2 people, but apparently, in my case, it is dysfunctional when it comes to relationships involving myself...it works fine for other people, at least for the past I-don't-know-how-long. Many examples, really, like that one time in Sec 3 when my friend first met a guy and I knew something was going to happen. Yup, they've been together for 4 years now. But apparently when I use intuition on anything to do with me, it fails...I still have a hunch that I'm not exactly wrong...but there's no way to prove myself right.)

Fun fact: Carl Jung is an INFJ

     Getting to that point can sometimes be a challenge for potential partners, especially if they are the impatient type, as INFJs are often perfectionistic and picky. People with this personality type aren't easily talked into something they don't want, and if someone doesn't pick up on that, it's a trespass that is unlikely to be forgiven, particularly in the early stages of dating (Recall 4 years ago: stages he called "dating" and no, it's still friendship...I never agreed). Even worse is if a suitor tries to resort to manipulation or lying, as INFJs will see right through it, and if there's anything they have a poor tolerance for in a relationship, it is inauthenticity (that's right...if you lie about yourself intentionally, out you go).

Is This For Real?

     One of the things INFJs find most important is establishing genuine, deep connections with people they care about.

     INFJs will go out of their way to seek out people who share their desire for authenticity, and out of their way to avoid those who don't, especially when looking for a partner. All that being said, INFJs often have a the advantage of desirability -- they are warm, friendly, caring and insightful (if they haven't been tainted into cynicism by the world), seeing past façades and the obvious to understand others' thoughts and emotions (what did I say? Apparently mine is dysfunctional).

     INFJs are enthusiastic in their relationships, and there is a sense of wisdom behind their spontaneity, allowing them to pleasantly surprise their partners again and again. INFJs aren't afraid to show their love, and they feel it unconditionally, creating a depth to the relationship that can hardly be described in conventional terms. Relationships with INFJs are not for the uncommitted or the shallow (One day I will find someone...I think).

     When it comes to intimacy, INFJs look for a connection that goes beyond the physical, embracing the emotional and even spiritual connection they have with their partner. People with the INFJ personality type are passionate partners, and see intimacy as a way to express their love and to make their partners happy. INFJs cherish not just the act of being in a relationship, but what it means to become one with another person, in mind, body and soul (HAHAHAHA, and I'm never going to know how that feels, I suppose).

That's me!

4. Random Stuff!

     Seriously, I'm not even angry that people are talking about things like fashion or celebrity gossip -- I'm just honestly confused. I don't see the appeal, I don't understand the appeal. It seems a little brainless to me, no offence, because a trend is just a trend, it will die down; a gossip is not even 100% true and it doesn't matter if it is. On the other hand, by trying to understand others, you build a deep connection and that is as permanent as most things go in life. Still the "How are you?" question is a little stupid to ask nowadays, since people aren't exactly comfortable telling you things out of the blue. You need to set the mood, set the stage and allow the other person to be comfortable.

     One by one:

     Mentally snaps when perfectionist visions do not transcend into reality.

     That is why my brain is currently a mess of broken wires because too many things have snapped. I'm just begging for one thing to turn out right, just one bloody thing. Preferably in the academia department, so I may pursue my goal of being a social entrepreneur and further other goals. But at this point, I can't be too picky...I guess.

     Opens up about their feelings only to apologise for it afterwards.

      The many times I opened about about my feelings were also the many times I regretted my actions. Opening up in response to others opening up is fine, because it's a form of reassurance that you aren't going to blackmail him/her or judge him/her. But, using the most recent example, no matter how supposedly "brave" or "inspiring" or "courageous" my actions were in the eyes of others, I think it is literally the most stupid thing I've ever done. It's not because I knew that nothing would come out of it, it's more of the fact that I knew it would create guilt in the other party and I still did it. Insensitive and selfish above all else, in my opinion. Even now I wish I had just swallowed the emotion down and hope it disappears, because at least then I wouldn't have extended my emotions beyond my own being.

     Still feels like a mystery despite how much they've revealed to you.

     Yeah well, I don't reveal much and even if I seem like I revealed a lot, it's very selective. I only reveal as much as is needed or as little as possible in order to keep enough hidden. Not that I don't trust others...no. My burdens are mine to carry and it's unfair for me to share it with anyone else. If they want to pick up my burden without me asking, then it's their own problem, but I won't intentionally do it. Mystery is necessary to create distance and distance is necessary to keep those closest to me safe from my own darkness.

     Vomits a jumble of words when talking but writes like a nobel prize-winning poet.

     If you'd give me a while to contemplate my words, then I'll speak like one too. Also, "poet" is not exactly accurate. I have received praise on my numerous fanfictions, so I would congratulate myself more on the ability to accurately and creatively depict character dynamics. Lemons (aka explicit fanfictions) are not my thing, I'm better at the character analysis and character interaction fanfictions.

     Will say something intelligent and then accidentally run into a wall.

     That's actually giving me too much credit. I have actually said something really profound to a junior before while counselling her, receiving a lot of thanks for it and then proceeding to trip on a stone and fall down a hill, fracturing an arm. How very smart of me.

     Yes, like I've said before, while I'm not a telepath (I wish I were one...I mean...Charles Xavier and all that sexiness), I am certainly adept at guessing what someone is thinking. Well, many people deny it when I accuse them of it, but eventually I find out that I'm right anyway. It's funny how I tell people what they are thinking and they deny it, only to embarrassedly tell me I was right after that. I've found out through that that most people having nicer and brighter thoughts than mine. That's also why I have so much faith that the world can be a better place. Everyone else's minds are so bright, full of determination, hope and optimism, in contrast to mine, so of course everyone is capable of so much more.

     And that's the face I have now that I've got to go and do work.

Profile of the INFJ

     The post yesterday was filled with way more angst than it's supposed to be. Though, nothing I said was dishonest, in fact, it's the most truthful I've been in a while. Truthful? I don't know how exactly I'm truthful I am as a person, both to myself and to others. I mean, I'm bad when it comes to my own emotions...I can never tell exactly what it is that I'm feeling. It's weird, really, because it seems like the vibes I get from others are always accurately interpreted, but when it comes to understanding myself, I'm an utter failure at it.

     Still, I wasn't exactly wrong when I said that I'm a lonely person. It could just be an innate quality of mine, the kind of personality I possess and the resonance it has with the people around me...the resulting loneliness is an inevitable one. I have read that it is the supposed fate of all INFx because we are inherently rare and our inability to be as open as our Extroverted cousins, ENFx, makes us the saddest kind of lonely.

       It seemed appropriate to insert that video right there. Like I've said before, I'm starting to have a thing for Christina Perri's songs. This song - "The Lonely" - reflects in its lyrics and its very tune the feeling of loneliness. I'm not an INFP, so I'm probably not as good as describing the exact emotions presented in the tune, but I would call it a combination of darkness and tranquility. The tune is quite foreboding, a little scary, but it is beautiful all the same. Must like loneliness is...to an Introvert at least. It is when I am alone that I am able to recover from the interactions in daily life that tire me out, yet it is the time I feel the most overwhelmed by my own thoughts.

      Hey, but that isn't the point of this post. I was going to write about the profile of an INFJ. I'll leave this whole topic of loneliness for another day, a day when I don't have work piled up that I inevitably have to do. I can delay it forever, but it's Thursday, I might as well get it done today and bottle up my depressive thoughts for tomorrow. Oh wait...there's Shakespeare in the Park tomorrow night...I guess I'll figure something out.

INFJ Personality Profile

     "The INFJ personality type is among the rarest of the 16 types, constituting only 1-2% of the general population. Unlike the INTJ personality type, in which males predominate, there is a greater gender parity among INFJs, with nearly equal numbers of males and females."

     "INFJs are "old souls". Many grow up feeling wiser than would be predicted by their chronological age. Having discovered the value of their Introverted Intuition (Ni) quite early in life, INFJs grow to trust its judgements and insights. Even as children and adolescents, INFJs can be found advising and counselling their friends and siblings, and perhaps even adult family members. They tend to be happiest and most fulfilled when helping and enlightening others through their insights."

     Yet, I think that it is because of this habit that has caused me to start doubting my Ni as well. I have counselled a lot of people as a child and that extends to my parents as well. However, when you have an ISTP clashing with an INTP in your house, it's never that easy. Neither is willing to listen to the other and are comfortable pretending that things are alright. My Ni doesn't help at all. As much as I can feel their frustration and annoyance, pain and suffering, it doesn't allow me insight into how exactly I'm supposed to go about it. Even if it does, it hasn't ever succeeded.

     "Because of their strength of intuition (and commensurate detachment from physical reality), many INFJs report feeling like aliens in the world. One INFJ described her experience as "a perpetyal sense of deja vu." Others report feelings of disembodiment. The fact is that many INFJs (and INTJs) seem to experience the world and their bodies quite differently than other types do. It is therefore not uncommon for INFJs to question their own sanity."

     In fact, right now, I'm starting to think that I'm just pure insane and there's something wrong with my mind. I keep thinking that what I read in people is correct, and more often than not, I find out in the end that I am indeed correct. Yet, at this age, everybody is hiding something so deeply that I often times, I think that I'm seeing things. I can also predict actions of people, which makes it seem like deja vu...it's almost as if I know what is going to happen. Not the exact timing, mind you, but I know when the urge for action becomes strong in another person.

     "INFJs see two people in everyone. They see the public persona, the outer shell, which everyone else sees. But more importantly, their Ni provides a deeper sense or impression of people, penetrating appearances and revealing hidden motives and intentions. Consequently, INFJs often feel they can see people more clearly than those people can see themselves."

     Which further serves to make me question my sanity. I can be almost 100% positive, at least intuitively, that a certain has a certain kind of underlying personality, but because he/she hides it so deep, sometimes I think I'm just imagining things...or maybe I'm idealising things. Maybe a person is truly as horrible as they seem on the outside. Maybe they really are as shallow as they seem. 

     "To fully understand INFJs, it is necessary to recognise the full implications of their dominant function, Ni, being a Perceiving function. Namely, INFJs are far less serious inwardly than they appear outwardly (ENFJs, whose dominant function is a Judging function, are characteristically more serious). INFJs' inner world is well-described as playful, imagination, colourful, mischievous and daring. They love playing with ideas, perspectives, theories, images, symbols and metaphors."

     I don't know how many people actually think I'm a serious person. In fact, I tend to make myself seem quite laid-back and clumsy, but that image is so painfully superficial that I think even a 100% S person can tell that it's fake. Yet, on the inside, I'm not as serious as that façade might suggest...I am quite laid-back, I do like art incredibly so...and most of all, I love creating theories in my mind which I toy with whenever I am bored (and when my mind is quiet). 

     "INFJs also enjoy listening to music, watching movies and television and engaging with people. Perhaps more than anything, they love spending time engrossed in meaningful conversation, which allows them to simultaneously engage their Ni and auxiliary Fe functions. Talking affords INFJs the opportunity to help and enlighten others through their insights. And because of their loquaciousness, INFJs may at times be mistaken for Extroverts."

     Note - meaningful conversation. Not gossip (celebrity or not), not superficialities. Those things bore me...they are necessary, but they bore me. Often, I find myself repulsed from a person, after a while, if they fail to engage in meaningful conversations with me. I think it's most apparent at our age, because people are either too insecure about their personal issues or are still too emotionally immature to admit that they have issues. I'm not just saying this on a hunch, in fact, I do have a list of people...in my head...who are grouped into those two categories. I can't blame them, I mean, I belong in the former group myself.

     "Like the INFP personality type, INFJs can struggle with depression. This may stem from feeling chronically unheard, useless, or misunderstood, as well as from dissatisfaction with the INFJ's careers or the INFJ's relationships. Because Ni perceives the world so differently and profoundly, INFJs often experience a sense of loneliness and isolation, even when they are with other people. Depression may also arise from feelings that their ideals and insights are not being recognised or actualised in the world. They may see the world as deaf to, or unconcerned with, the truths they espouse. INFJs may therefore question their value in a world that seems indifferent to their insights."

     Right. On every single account. I struggle from depression, yes. I feel unheard, useless and misunderstood, yes. My career sucks, I have absolutely no relationship to speak of. I don't think I matter in the world and obviously, the world will continue even if I'm dead. My counsel is wholly unneeded. But hey, that's really a downer. In some masochistic way, I thought myself unique for feeling so utter alone and useless...but now it seems as if I'm just following the INFJ trend. How disappointing.

INFJ Relationships

     "INFJs are outwardly warm and engaging. Due to their extroversion of Feeling (Fe), they can readily ingratiate themselves to others. And while forming quick friendships and extensive connections may be the goal for some extroverts, for INFJs, this is not the point at all. Rather, INFJs seek high quality, in-depth relationships. In their friends, as well as their romantic partners, they seek intelligence (both intellectual and emotional), honestly, openness and authenticity. Their ideal partner would take seriously the issue of personal growth and development -- moral, spiritual, emotional and psychological."

     I would like to tell this writer to stop reading me like a book, but I understand that this is the INFJ stereotype. I am certainly not outwardly warm and engaging, but I know the reason for that. In fact, if that one incident didn't repeat itself three times over across five years of my life, I could still be the very friendly little girl I used to be. Now, I'm just generally suspicious of everyone, though...it guilts me to feel that way. I want to believe that everyone is inherently good and simply finding their way there...but my insecurities are far more overpowering. But yes, those are the qualities I seek, and in my opinion, I can't understand why you would seek anything else. A person who is intellectually capable, but lacks no emotional capacity makes me fulfill the phrase...pardon my French..."vagina drying up faster than the goddamn Sahara desert". Can't exactly remember where the quote came from but it's probably a pretty vulgar movie. These kind of qualities I seek come naturally to me...to seek anything else would be absurd really.

     "Despite their status as introverts, there is little INFJs value more than quality conversation. They relish the chance to share their wisdom, theories, and insights. Unfortunately, they often find that most people (especially S types) fail to fully comprehend or appreciate their theories and insights. This can leave INFJs feeling like there is no ready outlet for their wisdom and that no one really understands their essential worth or value. So if and when they happen upon a like-minded individual, one who values and eagerly partakes in the INFJs' inner life, it can feel like a godsend. The title of David Keirsley's book, Please Understand Me, aptly expresses what INFJs seek in relationships."

     Yet, I love to surround myself with S types. It's like I'm trying to commit intellectual suicide or something. I understand that it's not that they are stupid, or I'm crazy, but simply that Ss find it hard to understand Ns and vice versa. They think I'm sprouting nonsense and I think they aren't listening. I do have people around me who are N as well, yes, but they are not as close, really. Also, most of them are extroverts...so they tend to come across as quite suspicious to me. That ENFJ over there, this ENTP over here and another ENFP I met yesterday. One is too intrusive, the other a little too passive and the last one...a little too happy-go-lucky. I mean it's weird...ENFP and INFJ are supposed to match...but would you like to tone down on that optimism for a bit and listen? Oh well, not like I plan to meet again anyway.

     "INFJs commonly report feeling misunderstood. Considering their status as the rarest of all personality types, this comes as little surprise. There are numerous misunderstandings about INFJs that could potentially hamper their dating and relational success."

     Yay, joy. I'm so looking forward to this section right here. Please, spill more salt on me.

      "A common assumption among males is that all females have similar perspectives on romance. This is particularly off the mark with respect to female INFJs. "Canned romance", such as receiving a bouquet of flowers every year come Valentine's Day, is apt to mean little to INFJs, who are quick to differentiate between the "real and authentic" from the "fake and contrived". For INFJs, romance is cultivated on a daily basis through open communication and authentic action. What is done on special occasions is merely icing on the cake. Take away the cake, however, and the icing is meaningless."

    Oh my, finally someone who understands! If someone is going to ignore me every other day and not talk to me, and then flash out some expensive gift on Valentines' or my birthday or some other day that calls for presents, I will...inwardly...tell them to shove it up their ass. Okay, if it's birthday or Valentines' or stuff like that, I will most likely still accept it, but I will mirror their shallowness. What's the obvious indication? If I get a present and express overwhelmingly fake enthusiasm, it means that I want you to take the gift and shove it back up where it came from, because it is literal shit...no matter how expensive. Also, I have actually told a guy, back in P6, to stick the bouquet of roses up his ass because like the writer said "take away the cake...and the icing is meaningless." Sadly, this also means that I am less likely to join the other person in the blissful illusion of a happy relationship and end up getting myself hurt instead.

      "Another common misunderstanding is that INFJs are controlling or close-minded. This typically stems from INFJ's tendency to extrovert Judging (Fe). But as I've described elsewhere, IJs are often better understood as Perceivers because their dominant function (e.g. Ni) is a Perceiving function. In actuality, INFJs, especially those further along in their type development, are surprisingly adaptable and open-minded. While rarely wearing their openness on their sleeves, as ENFPs are prone to doing, INFJs can be surprisingly unique or less conventional relational practices."

     I know I come across as a rather private person...and thus the close-mindedness. But really, if anyone were to randomly approach me with a weird idea...please, go ahead, I'm dying to have a meaningful conversation with a person, for once, and not my bloody wall. 

      "Nor is it the case that INFJs are overly controlling, or even want to be in control, in their relationships. As dominant Perceivers, they are generally healthiest when they allow life to come to them. Many INFJs have discovered that if they take it upon themselves to act and directly control outcomes, bad results often ensue. For INFJs, "action" can be understood as a direct employment of their inferior function (Se). And as I've discussed elsewhere, overt or direct employment of the inferior often produces undesirable outcomes. All of this is to say that optimal role of INFJs in a relationship is generally a more receptive one, using their Ni and Fe to understand and interpret the world rather than trying to control it."

     Yes, I agree, to an extremely huge extent. The few times I've actually tried to drive a relationship a certain way, it ended up in disaster. I've learnt that "what will happen, will happen" and if not, "it won't happen even if you tried". That said, INFJs are typically attracted to passive people. Yup, let me just give up on this whole notion of getting a relationship because none of my ships are going anywhere.

     "Yet another misunderstanding is the claim that INFJs "read into things that are not there" or "make mountains out of molehills." Such accurations can be troubling for INFJs, since reading into things a la their Ni is what they are born to do. In most cases, such accusations derive not from any wrongdoing on the part of the INFJ, but from the assumptions or ego sensitivities of their partners. For instance, by saying things like "Are you okay?" or "You don't seem yourself today", INFJs are trying to gather more information in order to better understand their partner. Unfortunately, their partner may interpret these as judgements or critiques, inciting a defensive response. If such exchanges were to occur regularly and without rectification, the INFJ might begin to introvert her feelings and doubt her own intuition, a sure recipe for personal and relational disaster."

      Yay and the disaster is already upon me! I would sure love to ask someone how their day is, because they certainly don't look fine...but what do I know? Apparently I'm always wrong...though I don't feel like I'm wrong. If I think that a relationship between two people is strained, it most likely is. I mean, last year, I did point out that this one guy looked as if his relationship with my friend ended...yeah, I was damn right.

     "As I've discussed elsewhere, one area in which INFJs may conflict with NPs is lifestyle. Since NPs use Si, they tend ot be more fiscally conservative (especially NFPs) and less entranced by "the finer things in life." INFJs may balk at what they see as the frugal, second-hand shopping ways of some NPs. They may also crave more outer seriousness than NPs are inclined to display, especially in what the INFJ considers a serious moment or discussion; excessive silliness can be off-putting to INFJs."

     If I want to purchase that $250 per container Earl Gray, you'd better not accuse me of spending too much. It is a good investment on an excellent product and you need to learn to enjoy fine tea. Stop drinking that terrible sewer water and join me in engaging in finer living. Also, stop joking around, I'm trying to be serious here. If you don't want a foot up your ass, stop laughing, it's not a joke.

     "Generally speaking, INFJs are ill-matched with Sensing types. As dominant Intuitives, INFJs live in a world of abstractions mediated by concepts and language. Since S types, especially SP types (ESTPs, ESFPs, ISTPs, ISFPs), prefer to relate through concrete action or activities, INFJs may struggle to find a common N denominator. While ISTJs and ISFJs can be somewhat more abstract in their ideation, INFJs may struggle with their deference to certain traditions or conventions."

     Yes...I've noticed. I do not enjoy the company of S types as much...but I am a friend and there's certain value I attach to friendship.

     "Pairing with other NJ types can be a hit or miss affair for INFJs. Putting any two J-types together can seem a lot like opposing the positive poles of two magnets. When opposing J forces collide, relationships can be intense and fiery. This may be one reason that J-J pairings seem relatively uncommon. Moreover, if INFJs try to pair with INTJs or ENTJs, different conferred by their Fe-Ti and Fi-Te function pairs may further the likelihood of disagreements and misunderstandings."

      You are damn right. I've had this argument with an INTJ a few weeks ago and I'm not even a little bit guilty of the harsh treatment I'm exacting. I don't see myself as being in the wrong and he certainly does not either. Furthermore, INTJs aren't exactly that enticing anyway so I certainly don't miss the companionship that I hesitated to classify as friendship in the first place.

       "On the rare occasion that INFJs happen upon and pair with another INFJ, there can certainly be grounds for attraction and intimacy. But because INFJs are among the least practical of all types, at times even oblivious to S matters, this pairing could prove difficult once children, money, or other logistical factors enter the picture."

     In other words, if you have 2 INFJs doing something, you'll have better luck praying to the Gods for a billion gold than for us to finish the job.

     "INFJs may also discover quick rapport and chemistry with ENFJs, who share all the INFJ's preferred functions. Once potential drawback, however, could involve ENFJ's tendency to project their own dominant Judging preference onto INFJs, expecting them to be more "productive" or proactive than they might naturally prefer. This could lead them to put even greater pressure on themselves, which is sure to bring relational trouble. But if circumstances were favourable and both partners were adequately self-aware, there is no reason that INFJ-ENFJ relationships could not be successful."

     How about the stars just aren't freaking aligned on any day of any calender month for the next two millenniums? That could be a reason, couldn't it? In the end, I'm probably going to go find myself an ENFP, deal with his optimistic bullshit...or opt out of this ridiculous nonsense altogether.