1. MBTI Superlatives
Most Likely to Succeed: ENFJ, ENTJ, INTJ, ESTJ
Class Clown: ESFP, ESTP, ENTP
Mostly Likely to Brighten Your Day: INFJ, INFP, ISFP
Mostly Likely to Fall Asleep in Class: ISTP, INTP, ENFP
Most Studious: ISFJ, ISTJ, ESFJ
This is a completely stereotype. I know INFJs are supposed to be saints and the kind-hearted angels who understand all your pains and will bring them away...but still, if I want to destroy your day, I'm sure I can do it too. I just choose not to. The same with all NFJs. Our evil, after all, is the most cruel, for we take everything we know about you and work them against you. INFJs manipulative intentionally and ENFJs are just manipulative in nature. You mess with me and I'll show you a bright day.
I love how the people closest to me, the two in particular, are ISFJ and ESFJ, and it's so true that all they talk about is study, study, study. Have I done this homework, have I done that homework. I'm going to be in trouble. Dude, seriously, I would know if trouble is coming (I'm an INFJ, remember? I know when an inspection is coming) and if I choose not to avoid it, it means that avoiding it takes more effort than just accepting it. Is the homework I'm doing going to help humanity? No? Then I don't see why I care to do it.
Also, I love how "Most Studious" and "Most Likely to Succeed" are different categories. That just proves my point, doesn't it? But would our extroverted cousins please get the hell out of that category and let us in instead? Leave success to us. We know what to do with it. In the mean time, help us spread the word around, won't you?
2. Types and Temper
Hot, Loud Anger: ESTJ, ESTP, ENTP, ESFP
Cold, Sarcastic, Biting Anger: INFJ, ISTP, ENFJ, ENTJ
Crying, Indignant Anger: INFP, INTP, ISFP, ENFP
Quiet, Non-Reactive Anger: ISFJ, ESFJ, INTJ, ISTJ
Are you telling me that when those two are angry, they aren't responding and I need to pull up Task Manager to force shut the programme? Cold, sarcastic and biting is right. If you've done something wrong, I won't yell at you. That takes way too much energy. Instead, how about I make you feel like you've done something horribly wrong and you need to repent.
3. How to Pick Up an...
ESTP: *throw down a challenge and buy drinks good naturedly when inevitable loss occurs*
ISTP: *takes off sunglasses* I'm only in town 20 days a year
ESTJ: Hey look, it's Gramps! Have you met my Grandpa and his 30 grandkids?
ISTJ: Team sports? Look at this jersey I'm wearing. It would look better on your floor.
ESFP: Let's ditch this party and go on a wild adventure. You look amazing, by the way.
ISFP: I'm really nervous and this is really hard for me because you're so great, but maybe we could hang out later?
ESFJ: I was really impressed by how you handled that situation earlier. Can I buy you a drink?
ISFJ: *five years of persistent adoration*
ENTJ: Your ideas are amazing. You should probably run for President.
INTJ: I have this puppy and I'm not sure I'm a suitable parent for it. Will you come supervise?
ENTP: You're really funny, but what I actually like about you is how kind you are.
INTP: Have you seen my spaceship? No, really. I built a model spaceship in the backyard.
ENFJ: *reveals hidden depth of character*
INFJ: *leaves sarcastic post-it notes over a period of time to create a non-threatening mystery*
ENFP: Want to head back to mine and play Scrabble?
INFP: Let's go and lie in the grass and contemplate the universe.
Firstly...I think the ENFP one got mixed up with some other type's *cough cough*. Also, there's something inherently wrong with so many of these. If ENFJs are interested in hidden depth of character, that means they are simply interested in everyone. As an INFJ, I'm going to say that even the shallowest of people in this world have something hidden. I can smell it...or hear it...I don't know. Sense it? And, there is no way a chain of sarcastic post-it notes is not threatening. It's scary and I will try my best to eliminate this threat to my security.
4. Around Someone They Like
xNTP: May "shut down" around their crush, tries to engage in intellectual or philosophical conversation with them, runs their mouth as fast as humanly possible, tries to impress their crush no matter what, may obsess
xNFP: Not sure how to act, may flirt awkwardly or without realising it, either coy or borderline manically sunny
xSTP: Invites them places, cool as a cucumber outwardly but has no idea how to deal with their feelings internally, doesn't flirt traditionally, tries to impress their cross by performing impressive social stunts
xSFP: Flirts well but doesn't know how to articulate their feelings, will invite their crush out to participate in activities that are personally meaningful to them, may spontaneously do things for them, expects their crush to understand their feelings without articulating them
xNFJ: Tries to make their crush happy even at personal expense, spends time finding out about their crush's interests and exploring them, may constantly question whether or not their feelings are reciprocated
xSFJ: May be shy or reserved around their crush, but opens up once they know their feelings are 100% definitely no-takebacks reciprocated, may feel threatened by exs, wants to share activities or hobbies they personally connect with
xSTJ: May hesitate initially but then is blunt about their feelings towards their crush
xNTJ: Tries to act normally around their crush at all costs, may obsess for a while before either trying to distance themselves or going in and telling their crush the blunt truth and hoping their feelings will be reciprocated, may be extremely nervous about expressing this emotion outwardly
Okay, this seems rather generic, except for a few. Also, seeing the piles of "fungi" I've grown in the corners of my house, I must say that mine is quite true, especially about the questioning part. The answer usually leads to "No" and there's the comic anime moment where I start to grow more mushrooms in a corner.
5. What They Think About Before Sleep
INFP: That thing that really offended them and the poem they're going to write about it
ENFP: Bright colours and anxiety. Wonders if they could flash a Morse code message to their neighbour. Thinks about being lonely.
INTP: Rapidly tumbles into a well of circular logic that they cannot rationalise their way out of. Suddenly remembers that really weird involuntary sound they made with their mouth in class today and prays no one heard.
ENTP: An orgy of noise and static that are apparently brilliant ideas but they pass out before they can write them down so we'll never know
INFJ: Anxiety about the future and the inevitability that they will grow old and become corrupt, another cog in the capitalist machine. How many will be consumed in this entirely hypothetical hedonistic warpath?! The INFJ does not sleep!
ENFJ: What that person meant when they said that thing and how to now approach that person in light of this thing. Wonders what their own response to the thing says about them.
INTJ: Reads the ENTP's mind and successfully distils the mess down to one idea that they quickly discard as absurd. Falls asleep grumbling about inefficiency.
ENTJ: Sensible things, mortgages, tax evasion. Definitely figures out a way to exploit the system. Just an idea, of course, Write it down.
ISFP: Anxiety over the joke they told at work today. Was it in poor taste? What is it offended the INFP?
ESFP: Existential angst because they've become too aware of their own body.
ISTP: Probably can't fall asleep until they've solved whatever thing they've been fiddling with all day. Tries to logically determine the most comfortable position. Cannot.
ESTP: This is a comfortable position. Scratch sheets. Weird light from the window. Should they get up and fix it? Yes, of course. Can't get back to the comfortable position.
ISFJ: Literally every detail from the movie they just watched. Gets the song from the credits stuck in their head.
ESFJ: Upcoming birthdays, remembers they haven't called their mom in almost two days and feels extremely guilty, bitter thoughts about that dick move Jan pulled the other day
ISTJ: Nothing, they just passed out around the same time as usual because they actually got shit done today and they're exhausted
ESTJ: They threatened their brain into silence at exactly 23:30, as they do every night
Actually, that is exactly what I think about every night. What if I'm just working to my eventual doom? What if I just end up as part of this system and exacerbating its existing problems? What if I never end up in a counselling or a humanitarian profession and just end up slaving away my life to the corrupt system in place right now? *Stares at the ceiling* For some reason, our extroverted counterparts have more personal thoughts while our thoughts are just going deeper and deeper and deeper, until we find ourselves imagining this twisted future where nothing is realised.
6. Feeling Guilty Ranking (Least Guilty to Most Guilty)
1. ENTJ (What? It's not my fault. *Actually is their fault*)
2. ESTJ
3. INTJ
4. ISTJ
5. ISTP
6. INTP
7. ENTP
8. ESTP
9. ESFP
10. INFP
11. ISFP
12. ESFJ
13. ENFP
14. ENFJ
15. ISFJ
16. INFJ (It's all my fault! I shouldn't have done this and it wouldn't have ended up like that. I'm an idiot!)
Sighhh...it is my fault. If I played a part in causing something bad to happen, I am responsible. Doesn't matter if I'm the root cause, a secondary cause, or even partially related. If I'm the root cause, then I just shouldn't have done it and caused the situation to spiral out of hand. I shouldn't have said it. If I'm the secondary cause, then I shouldn't have interfered. If I'm partially related, why didn't I interfere when I could possibly have improved thing?
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