And it was concluded, almost instantaneously, in my brain, that that particular person is retarded, or just intellectually inferior. It's a sort of arrogance that I keep very much to myself, since it is quite common as for me, as an INFJ, to avoid saying mean things if I can't do anything to help it. It's not the thinking that "Don't say anything if you have nothing nice to say", because that results in a bunch of ENFJs and INFPs who are basically fake as shit, and it's goddamn obvious when they are trying to wiggle their way onto your good side. My thinking is more along the lines of "Don't criticise anything, if there is no way it can be fixed." In other words, "This person is so dumb that I don't think I can fix that stupidity."
Apparently, though, arrogance is not a common trait of the INFJ, but is a defining characteristic of INTJs, our Ni-dom buddies. So I decided to do research on how INFJs can display INTJs qualities, how the two types relate to each other, etc etc. I mean, I guess my INFJ kicks in after I have the "OMG, this guy is dumb as hell" thought, because I immediately feel bad for thinking that. However, I don't deny it, even then. I still think that the person is mentally backwards, judging silently, while my Fe is desperately trying to find excuses for that person for that massive slip-up.
So I suppose that that's the little defining trait between me, as quite a cold INFJ, and the INTJ. The INTJ gives no shits about offending others, unless it causes trouble for them personally, and doesn't feel the least bad about being honest - I mean if you're really stupid, then they'll say it. INFJs though...even when I'm starting to despise the unreliability and irrational nature of Fe (still better than Fi, which is both irrational and amazingly selfish), it still makes me feel a little guilty for calling someone stupid.
"Oh, I won't ever want to be selfish, because that is against who I am." BULLSHIT. The biggest lump of bullshit that an INFJ can say. Since when did we start preaching INFP's stubborn believes in authenticity? The truth is that INFJs would prefer not to be selfish, but we are more realistic than any of the NF (Idealists), and we recognise that sometimes, for the greater good that we foresee, there must be sacrifices made. That is why we are Ni-dominant. Ni gives foresight so that our kindness and sacrifice is actually useful towards a greater cause. On the other hand, INFPs are the type to just sacrifice themselves because "I will never be selfish" and then neglect the far-reaching consequences of that action. Same for the rest of the NFs, though ENFJs technically should fair better, unless the Ni is grossly underdeveloped, or Fe is so overwhelming that they just go super protagonistic thinking with everything.
Yes. I am someone who has not seen many good things in my own life. It's not that things have never went well for me. It's that things that have went bad are things so crucial that they should never go badly. The ability to just stand there and take the world's beating is still intact, but the will isn't there. INFJs are quite logical, being the most left-brain inclined of the Idealists, with the ability to overdevelop their Ti. I am one such person. I've learnt that even if I can endure it, even if I can always get the short end of the stick and not break down completely, it's not worth it. If it isn't going to contribute towards the larger good, it's not worth the effort. Softness, thus, is a quality that INFJs probably come equipped with, but can easily lose if life is harsh or cruel, such that they lose faith in being overly empathetic and kind.
What you get then is something like me. I have become quite harsh, especially towards emotions. I was already brought up by parents who are both against expressing emotions. My mother is an ISTP, so it comes with her personality to lead with Ti. My dad, as I have concluded recently, is an INFP who was brought up in an environment that resulted in him hating his dominant function, Fi. Then, in a last-ditch effort to retain my faith in having emotional commitments, I made a massive mistake that ended up with me devoted an inproportionate amount of myself. I can say, with absolute certainty, and not even feeling bad (which is a goddamn surprise), that I regret and hate what has happened and there is nothing positive about it at all. I trusted in the most despicable kind of person.
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What is despicable to me? Not someone who is selfish and aware of it. I respect people's choices when it comes to being selfish or not, because either can contribute to humanity's development. What I hate the most, the kind of person I hate the most, is someone who is so obviously selfish, but so despicably fake. Someone who is so convinced that he is so selfless, but everything he has ever done screams selfish. So many times did I have to use the excuse, "Oh, maybe he just isn't aware of what he is doing." Well, if all the excuses were valid, then he must be exceedingly stupid then! I mean, how can you claim to be selfless and be completely oblivious to how and why you are so detested by some people? These people, in fact, are such nice people that they often put up with all kinds of personality that I can't even put up with. Yet, of all the people in the world, they find you the most intolerable and disgusting? Yeah, and you say you are selfless. I'm sorry, selflessness comes hand-in-hand with awareness of surroundings and of self. You sully the reputation of ENFJs and I really want to know another ENFJ to prove to myself that they aren't all a bunch fucked up people who think themselves heroes but are the most despicable humans alive.
Hell, when an INTJ can see the hurt more obviously than an ENFJ, you know there's something very fucked up about that ENFJ. OH, you can sense the emotions of people around you? Here, take a look at your tertiary function - Se. That thing is situationally aware too, but that one isn't aware of the specifics of what is happening. You say you know the dynamics of people in our class, but that is because you have immersed yourself in their company for a long time. That is Se, not Fe. Fe works such that the moment you enter into a certain unknown company, you get a good estimate of what's going on. My goodness. This is hilarious. An ENFJ with a poorly developed Fe, completely non-existent Ni, mistaking a information gatherer such as a the shallow Se for deep Fe, and then being very Ti. That makes dominant Se, inferior Ti, ESTP...OMG, I HATE THAT TYPE.
How is it that I just figured it out now? Probably because I'm desperate to think about MBTI after almost 9 hours of Math.
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If I use that logic in the chunk above, my rejection of Fe, along with the remaining Ni, Ti and Se, makes me rather similar to INTJs. The difference is Te and Ti, which are the righteous and calculating factors.
This is a great summary of how the INFJ-INTJ dynamic works. In fact, even before this particular male INTJ I know now, almost all my girl friends were INTJs. My best friend in Sec 1 and Sec 2, as well as the one for Sec 3 and Sec 4, they were both INTJs. My entire "gang", in fact, in Sec 4, was...63.6% INTJs. That's amazing. It just means that I know how to get along with INTJs and I am comfortable around INTJs. They are cold people and extroverts may not like their type much, but I think INTJs are pretty easy to understand, after you figure our what triggers them and appeals to them.
I do love INTJs a lot. I may say that they feel cold and unfriendly and stuff like that, but I really admire and appreciate their existence. I mean, I do think all the NT (rationals) are a gift to humanity because, hell, humanity would be really stupid and backwards without them. Whenever I get too emotional, telling an INTJ doesn't comfort me, but comfort is not what INFJs seek. We keep things to ourselves, so if we seek others, we don't want you to tell us it's "okay", because if it is, we already know it is. We want solid advice. We want you to smack us in the face with reality and make us realise how stupid we are being. Both INTJ and ENTP are amazing at that, especially towards INFJ. INTJ, because they are naturally rational. ENTP, because they are quite blunt and straightforward.
But I found out that INTJs do like it when INFJs express emotions too. Well, not exactly "express". They still don't like it, or understand it, when you go crying at them or being too emotional. That's why INFJs make great friends with INTJs because they often reign back their emotions and try to rationalise it. The other NFs, either don't realise it or avoid it. INFJs will not back down until they figure out the logical reasoning behind why they are feeling a certain way. And that, I have been told by my INTJ friend, is what he appreciate a lot in me. He appreciates my effort to reduce the emotions in my conversations with him and enjoys it when I try to involve him in rationalising situations. And really, INFJs, being quite curious and wanting to know the specifics of things, are very entertained too. I feel like conversations with INTJs are mentally taxing and quite enjoyable, not to mention they are rather quick-witted, though traditionally not as much as ENTPs.
In fact, while ENFPs are best matches for male INFJs and ENTPs are best matches for female INFJs, INTJs are listed as an interesting possibility for both. It is a sort of dynamic, whether the INFJ is Ti-inclined enough to appeal to the INTJ's rationality, whether the INTJ's ability to try and understand emotions is enough for the INFJ. The fact that we both share Ni-dom and Se-inf means that in working together, this is an absolutely awesome combination. In times of conflict, they will resort to the same stress relievers. In times of cooperation, they both look in the same direction. It's probably how most people can jumble up their middle functions in their developing years (below 25 years old) that INFJs can be mistaken for INTJs. But funnily enough, INTJs are never mistaken for INFJs.
Since INTJs are the stars for this post, here are some things that define them:
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