Enough irrelevant nonsense though.
1. INFJs and Small Talk
I have covered this topic before, but I think that this quotes summarises things very clearly. Of course, as the NF type most aware of social norms and their contribution to human interaction, we cannot expect people to respond too kindly if we jump into a conversation spouting things that would be considered gibberish. We always have to go through the mundane process of "what's up" and similar questions that very much turn me right off because, really, if you're having a bad day, I can tell and I would like to go right into helping you and comforting you rather than trying to beat around the bush to manipulate your into giving up your secrets.
I think that's why INFJs are so very appreciative and fascinated by people who are not afraid to say things out of the norm. Others may think that it's rude to insult a teacher and usually do not think to question the legitimacy of teachers. For example, there was one video that a teacher showed us depicting the situation of a suicidal person. Of course, more than one person stated that it was "inappropriate" but even then, that is small talk. Because, no shit Sherlock. But there was one person who could tell me straight in the face why exactly he thought it was inappropriate and in that one explanation, he revealed to me much more than anyone else did with longer conversations. This person is also the proof that no matter how much you seem to stray on the superficial level from your MBTI, your inner personality is still very much your MBTI. Also, he understood that it was not "inappropriate", but the ridiculous nature of the video that was offensive. Impressive. Finally I don't think I was the only joker who thought like that.
I love it when people tell me things unconventional. I don't care for convention - I know them well enough through observations in life. I like people who show me a very different point-of-view and while I may not agree, it is certainly more rewarding than talking to people who speak common sense all the way. Still, these people are rare and frankly, it is partly my fault that the people I always talk to are all quite conventional, whether they admit it or not. If they can't admit it, it's even worse, because one of my most despised qualities is the inability to be self-aware.
2. INFJ on Forgiving and Forgetting
And that's why it bothers me so much to hold on to grudges. Even if someone else has done something wrong to me, it is not entirely their fault. It could be my incompetence that has caused them to be encouraged to hurt me. It could be my moment of sensitivity that caused me to react badly. No matter what the situation, there is always fault partly attributed to me and if I expect an apology from the other party, I should be apologising too. Also, I never want to withhold forgiveness. So no matter what happens, really, if a sincere apology is offered, forgiveness will be automatic. I have seen what holding onto the past can cause in one's life and the life of those one hold dear. To forget is really not my policy. I won't hold onto the grudge, of course, but like everyone who is capable of thought should be aware - you need to learn from your lessons. If I was too frank this time and hurt someone, then next time I'll try to be less frank. That, in a way, is not forgetting.
3. INFJ and Being Sensitive
I think this really depends on how you view the whole issue on "sensitivity". INFJs are sensitive to the feelings of others, in the sense that we can feel what other's are feeling. We can also foresee future events, although I'm an INFJ superbly good at ignoring bad gut feelings, so in a way, we are sensitive. But as elaborated by the poster, he means "sensitive" in the sense that we don't overreact. That's the business of INFPs. Most of the time, INFJs can be extremely neutral and uncaring about a variety of things going on around them. One big contrast, of course, is the issue of jealousy, which is apparent in INFPs but quite absent in INFJs. INFPs feel their own emotions deeply, that is sensitivity. INFJs feel others emotions deeply and are often very confused by their own. Also, INFJs who are healthy usually have very good defenses against the emotions of others. In my case, I think I find myself too often in situations that continuously wear down my ability to filter emotions and thus my oversensitivity. I would hate to be an INFP...because honestly, their empathy is fake and manipulative at best, at least that's how I view it.
Another distinction perhaps lie in that INFPs...as I see it...are quite selfish. They naturally ask "How does this impact me?" before "How does this affect others?" because of their Fi being a dominant function. Even in ENFPs, who have Fi as well, it is not that bad because it's auxiliary. Therefore, INFPs are probably quicker to react to situations, understanding the direct relation of things that impact them. On the other hand, INFJs become sensitive only after realising their helplessness. I don't get upset easily if people target me. I get upset when someone else is upset and there's not a thing in the world I can do, or I failed to do whatever I needed to do. That's when we get upset, so the reaction is slower.
4. INFJ and Brain Orientation
That is why, the most common careers for INFJs statistically are actually - religious worker, counsellor and...scientists. You would think that NFs make for horrible scientists, but surprisingly, like INFJs always are, we are quite different from other NFs. While all other NFs are right-brained, INFJ have a very deep balance between right and left, because of the Ti function coming so early in the order. For ENFJs, Ti is inferior and thus not often used. For ENFPs and INFPs, it's Te instead and Te is generally less adept than Ti for science purposes. So while INFJs are often considered empathetic, spiritual, creative, etc etc, we are very capable of taking on scientific careers as long as we put effort and interest into it. That's maybe why I often find myself equally good at science and arts, depending only on the level of interest I have. The only problem with science in school is the problem that teachers don't explain half the things they teach because "it's not in the syllables" and then get annoyed when you spend too much time reading up on things instead of doing their useless homework (which is just me copying directly from the notes).
5. INFJ and Betrayal
Ah yes. NFs are all cuddly-little love bears, aren't we? But there's a reason why INFJs are so scary. Have you ever heard of the warm and cold temperaments? Here's how it goes for the NFs:
INFP: Lukewarm on the outside, warm on the inside
ENFP: Warm on the outside, warm on the inside
INFJ: Cold on the outside, warm on the inside
ENFJ: Warm on the outside, warm on the inside
So INFJ is the only NF with a "cold" under their belt. "Inside" is what we show with trust and so when INFJ's trust is betrayed, we may not become the scariest type, but we certainly make people feel the worst. It's hard to push an INFJ to the point of an absolute door slam, but the moment it arrives, it brings along a winter chill and passive-aggressiveness that other types cannot compare to. I think "door slam" is an understatement, because we don't slam just one door. We slam all the doors and build so many walls that you can't possibly climb back again. But of course, it depends on what "crime" you have committed. INFJs are the types to care about "intentions" and so if betrayal comes with the intention to betray, you can be sure we throw you into a pit so deep and wish hell upon your entire life. The number of doors slammed in your face...well, it approaches infinity at that point.
6. INFJ Most Likely
7. INFJ and Maturity
But doesn't it scare others when you are more mature and knowing than them? It makes people uncomfortable when you know them too well. It makes people feel inferior if you reveal to them too many things they don't know. Not academic things, mind you, just things that INFJs tend to learn through observation. INFJs, like the INTJs, are born as very quiet children, who have bouts of intelligence that scare adults. It's not because we are miraculous, we just have the habit of observing and noting patterns from an extremely young age. Social cues become something that is established early in life and we try to follow them through childhood, only to realise when they are appropriate later in life.
We observe the adults. When mommy tells aunty a secret, aunty will pat her on the back and share something about herself in return. Even as tiny children, INFJs start to ask "Why?" Why does aunty pat mommy on the back? - Soft physical contact from a trusted individual creates comfort. Why does aunty tell mommy something back? - To reassure her that her secret is safe, offering her own secret in return as if to say "If I tell your secrets, you can betray me too". INFJs note these kinds of things down. It's slightly different from INTJs. INTJs are more likely to stare at the airplanes, the TVs, the sky and then suddenly ask "mommy, if the sea is blue and the sky is blue, are the same thing?"
8. INFJ and How They Relate to Other Types
INFJ: Identity
They are the same types. Feeling like they are competing in the same space, the two may initially oppose each other. However, they usually recognise their similarities and begin to cooperate.
ENFJ: Pal
Similar worldviews, foals and thoughts. The Introvert is more original, while the Extrovert is better at implementing goals and plans. They get along at work and at play.
INFP: Complement
They have interests in similar realms but their strengths have opposite emphasis. They solve the same problem with different approaches and for different reasons.
ENFP: Contrast
They have the same order of functions but the Introvert/Extrovert direction of each function is reversed. They have similar interests but the Perceiver thinks of possibilities while the Judger thinks of plans. They have different goals and opposite emphasis on strengths.
ISTP: Supplement
They have the same functions in different order. One's weaker strengths are the other's stronger strengths. Their strengths can add to each other.
ESTP: Anima
They have the same functions but in reverse order. Each sees the other as having strengths that the former wishes to improve upon.
ISFP: Suitemate
The two enjoy the same environment and have little interpersonal friction. They do not have anything in common but they can enjoy everyday activities together.
ESFP: Cohort
The two find each other in the same activities only when one is stressed out and wishes to "escape" from normalcy.
INTJ: Companion
They have the same primary function. The two have a mutual understanding of each other and can talk on a deep, honest level.
ENTJ: Tribesman
They have similar cultures and are often found in the same social groups. They have different strengths and will be pursuing goals independent of each other.
INTP: Advisor
Each has insight that the other lacks. They find each other to be a source of fresh perspectives and enjoy each other's company.
ENTP: Pedagogue
Each has insight and strength that the other lacks. They develop a parent-child relationship.
ISTJ: Enigma
They are completely mysteries to each other. They have different goals and strengths.
ESTJ: Novelty
Their differences are so striking that they are curious about each other. They sometimes run into conflict due to their fundamental differences in worldview.
ISFJ: Neighbour
The two are often found in the same jobs or walks of life, but they reached their position through completely different means.
ESFJ: Counterpart
The two perform the same functions but are in different realms. They have mutual respect for each other but do not necessarily wish they had the same skillset as the other.
9. INFJ Traits
Sees Self as a deep-thinker in love with new ideas and insights, but somewhat detached from others.
Overriding need to understand the complexity of people and life.
Irritated by hypocrisy, limits on personal freedom, impersonal details and mundane tasks.
Strengths provides future-oriented insights that inspire others, follows through on commitments with integrity and consistency
Seen by others as somebody who is creative, insightful, stubborn and hard to get to know
Decides through private pondering, may make up mind too quickly and then worry endlessly
Irritates others by neglecting details, getting over-emotional, going off at unrealistic tangents, using overly complex language
Challenges may take criticism personally, blurt out feelings unwisely, withdraw socially for long periods, succumb to addictive disorders
10. This INFJ Bookmark that I want
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