Most to Least Likely to Cry Over a Tragic Love Story
1. INFP
2. ISFP
3. ENFJ
4. ESFJ
5. ENFP
6. ESFP
7. INFJ
8. ISFJ
9. INTJ
10. ISTJ
11. INTP
12. ISTP
13. ENTP
14. ESTP
15. ESTJ
16. ENTJ
Okay, it really depends on the quality of the story, because most fanfiction that are classified under the "angst" category just has me rolling my eyes at either: 1. the absolute cliche of the story, or 2. how poorly it is written. I cannot get past 5 grammatical errors before I decide that, No, I'm not going to continue reading this. When the story becomes cliche, I put it down and decide, I can actually do better than this, so I'm wasting my time.
And then once in a blue moon, a really good angst fanfiction comes along and I spend hours, without stopping, just sitting in one spot and reading it. By the end of it, I'm just crying my face off to the point that I can't even read the words on the phone because I'm crying way too hard to not have everything look blurry to me.
In fact, I actually do go to the closet, find the thickest, biggest and warmest jacket I can find, wear it, curl up onto my bed, and continue crying. My mom has walked in on me once and I was crying like my dog died or something. It went something like this.
Mom: ...Why are you crying?
Me: *stares at her with a devastated look* ...I-I read a really sad story. *hiccups*
Mom:
Me: It was really sad. You know the girl she *blahblahblah* and then the guy *blahblah*, but then she was-
Mom: Okay, okay. I don't need to know. It's just a story.
Me: But it's sad. Not just sad...it's...I CAN'T FIND A WORD TO DESCRIBE IT.
Mom: Okayyyyy. I'll leave you to it then.
I'm sorry, I just get really emotional and attached to the characters when I get into a story and I feel as if their feelings were my own. In fact, when I was younger and I read a lot more fiction than I do now, I would be crying at scenes where people sacrificed themselves or something unjust happened. I think one reason why I was willing to stop reading fiction was because I tended to read stories that left me emotionally drained and I would be crying over a single story for days.
I wasn't that kid that sat there quietly while reading...I was that kid crying and huddling up instead, or cheering as if I'm in the story myself. Also, I was the kind of person who felt really upset after finishing a book because I wanted to experience the world more. I always saw potential for more development, of the plot, of the characters. Not different plotlines, mind you, because I fully respect the decision the author made for his/her characters, but the sheer potential of what could have been more and what I feel like I haven't had enough makes me really upset. It's the kind of "Okay, I'm done with this book...what do I do with my life now?"
But that's off-course, I was talking about how easily I cry over things. Take for example, this Cherik fanfiction I was reading. Cherik = Charles Xavier x Erik Lensherr and is the ship name for the two characters - the ship name for their actors is McFassy, so it's different. This is an Alternate Universe fanfiction, which I often don't enjoy, but I do like the writing style and the plot, so yes. Here's are some excerpts from the story, separated with the line thingys:
Sacrifice.
Sacrifice makes you selfless.
Or does it just make you more and more unwilling to have anything worth wanting?
-----
"I was having a dream about you."
Charles pauses for a second before answering.
"Yes? And?"
"You were in my bed."
"Oh..."
"I was under the covers and you were over them."
"Okay." There's a relieved sigh.
"I was trying to hold your hand."
The boy stays quiet.
"Trying and trying and trying. And when I woke up." He points to his temples, "This. I had a headache."
The hands on his head become more desperate, pressing down deeper.
"Are you better now?" Charles asks slowly.
"Much."
"Can I leave you?"
"Yes," Erik says with uncertainty, stable voice veiling his sinking heart.
He's shocked to feel Charles's hands curl around his for a short, sweet moment.
"There," the boy whispers.
It's no surprise that the touch calms his heart. Erik bites his lip. He promises himself to wait until he leaves to cry.
-----
I cried really hard at this point, because I could feel so acutely the sense of helplessness that Erik was feeling - of desiring the unattainable, knowing that he cannot attain it, but wanting it nonetheless. He knows that Charles is off-limits to him, but he cannot help but love him all the same. In his helplessness, Erik acts in a way that directly opposes his feelings - he insults Charles and is extremely mean to him. As explained by himself in a later chapter:
"I want to annoy him again. I want to make him cry, complain. I want to make him laugh. I want him to smile because of me. I wants him to silently listen to something I'm saying..."
Whether it's because it's relatable, or because I can feel his emotions through the phone I'm reading the fanfiction on, or both, it really doesn't matter. I think that one line "He's shocked to feel Charles's hands curl around his for a short, sweet moment" followed by "It's no surprise that the touch calms him heart...He promises himself to wait until he leaves to cry," left me crying like nobody's business.
I know, I know. It's just a story. It's fictional. It has nothing to do with me. But I cannot help but always be affected by this kinds of things. I feel the anger of the characters, their sadness, their devastation, their happiness, so acutely that reading fiction is often a roller-coaster of emotions and it leaves me drained and silently contemplative.
Not just in writing...animes are arguable worse.
You can be like, oh, everyone gets affected by scenes like that. But I can tell you that there are two very distinct different reactions. People who can distance themselves from the characters and look upon it in a detached manner would probably squeal in excitement or feel happy for the characters. People like me, who get so absolutely involved with the characters, end up with tears in their eyes and a very warm feeling. It's like the warmth of a hug and I really don't know how to explain that kind of warm feeling I get from this kind of scenes.
"Warmth of hugs", huh. I don't think I've explained that before and I don't know how to. No matter how I wrap myself in blankets at night, how many layers I wear, sometimes there remains a chill that I cannot understand. It's the same kind of chill that disappears and melts when someone hugs me, maybe the reassuring warmth of another living being. It's a very different warmth from what you get from a blanket in that it goes beyond physical warmth. But, as an INFJ, I am a self-defeating kind of person and I don't usually tell people to hug me. Sure, I don't usually peel people off me when they hug me, but sadly right now, I'm surrounded by people who don't hug that much...compared to back in the past, when people would literally pounce on me to hug me.
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