Just Whatever

     Homework, homework, homework. I know what homework there is but I really can't find a cell in my body to care about it. I wonder why. I'm inclined to provoke the teacher into asking me why I didn't do work, just to say "because I don't feel like it". I reckon it'll be awfully entertaining. I'd reckon that maybe then I'll at least feel a certain spark to school.

     I seem eager to exact my own downfall, as usual, but really, it's going to make my short life quite fun isn't it? Lofty dreams and amazing goals, let's just leave those to other INFJs who are more able and let's play away my last few breathing moments. I'll probably never stop believing in the potential of humanity, but equally, I will not stop believing in the burdensome and pointless nature of my existence. I already fucked things up and really, what's the point of fighting the fate I myself have decided upon?

     "I'm going to England"? Well, I wasn't aware that the land beyond life was called England. I wonder what comes next? Do I get to go to hell and see what that's like? Do I get to be reincarnated? Or it's as I would expect, just the end? Certainly a better thing for me to think about rather than...well...believing in the absurdity of ME ever achieving anything. If anything I've ever down is a testimony for the future, I'll probably worsen the state of humanity, or become a useless piece of trash.

     Reunion in 10 years? What, with my corpse? Doesn't sound too appealing but suit yourselves.

     Hey, what will feel more painful? Stabbing a knife into the wrist and then pulling it back while watching the flesh split apart? A stab through the neck and twisting the blade afterwards? Heh, both sound rather tempting. Well, the silence of carbon monoxide poisoning sounds rather quaint. I wonder, what it feels like?

     Do you know mustard with hot water actually works better for throwing up than fingers? But it leaves a disgusting after taste that probably leaves you retching for hours. Bizarre huh?

     Homework. Hey look at all these people doing homework. How cute. Why aren't I doing it? Oh, because I don't care to. Let's see what gives way first, shall we? Do I succumb to the demands of society or does insanity consume me first? What a fun bet. My life on the second one!