My absolute lack of self-control is astounding and deserving of a prize maybe. No, I don't think it's self-control per se, but rather the lack of acknowledgement of the importance of issues at hand. Simply put, I'm just not as riled up as I should be about A levels, given that we have like...12 weeks left? I feel like it's not the priority right now. I need to sort my shit out, because as far as I am aware, when I'm doing work without being depressed, I am extremely efficient. Still, efficiency can only help me so much and I don't even think I can sort my shit out.
There's this western cartoon drama film produced by DreamWorks Animation called Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron. It was released in 2002 and the story follows the adventures of a wild and rather obnoxious stallion, Spirit. Encountering man for the first time, he is captured but defies being broken, even as he develops a remarkable friendship with Lakota, a tribal teenage boy. He falls in love with a paint mare named Rain and the two leave Lakota's tribe with his blessings and returns to his herd.
It's one of my favourite cartoon films, nowhere near Lion King or Brother Bear (as you can see, I like films with animals), and it's surprising, especially given that I detest horses. Why create such a magnificent creature just to make them herbivores? They have the grace, speed and strength of predators such as wolves, cheetahs, lions, etc, but they are herbivores? That's weak. Still, I love this movie, if not only for its soundtrack.
While this one isn't exactly my favourite, but the song seems to strike a cord with me, especially considering the mental state I'm in...that I've been in. This is the scene in which Spirit is about to be shipped away with the rest of the horses and seemed as if his spirit has been broken by the horse tamer. The other horses look to him, remembering him as the spirited horse that stood up to the humans. Looking out the train, he remembers his herd (led by his mother) that is still waiting for his return. He is reminded of who he is and in that moment, gains back the courage to fight back.
Lyrics:
Sound the bugle now - play it just for me
As the seasons change - remember how I used to be
Now I can't go on - I can't even start
I've got nothing left - just an empty heart
I'm a soldier - wounded so I must give up the fight
There's nothing more for me - lead me away...
Or leave me lying here
Sound the bugle now - tell them I don't care
There's not a road I know - that leads to anywhere
Without a light I fear that I will stumble in the dark
Lay right down - decide not to go on
Then from high - somewhere in the distance
There's a voice that calls, "Remember who you are"
If you lose yourself - your courage soon will follow
So be strong tonight - remember who you are
Yeah you're a soldier now - fighting in a battle
To be free once more - yeah, that's worth fighting for
If you lose yourself, your courage soon will follow.
Yeah, if I had gotten this advice way sooner, I may have found myself back before I lost sight of it completely. It's less of me not knowing who I am, then me not having any confidence in my own abilities. It's not that I'm confident of doing well at the A levels, it's that I expect failure. And when I look at these people working hard around me, it doesn't make me dislike them. What I feel is an even greater distance, not between me and them, but between me and myself. When have I lost myself so completely that people, younger than me even, have overtaken me - a kid who was once thought to be more mature than others older than her? At what point did it happen? How?
The definitions of jealousy and envy are too narrow, for in this case, I think it's jealousy or envy too. It's not exactly envy, because I know there's that willpower in me that I have lost touch with. I possess it, thus it is not envy. It's not jealousy either, because no one took it from me, my willpower that is, I simply lost it myself.
Depression is like a spiral, every single little thought accentuates the preceding one. I end up being jealous of those around me - of their hardwork, their resilience, their willpower - all qualities that I know I possess, but don't know how to harness anymore. And then it goes to self-deprecating thoughts - of why anyone should like me...no, why anyone shouldn't hate me or ignore me. And then I start hating myself for having such thoughts about those around me - for questioning their intentions when the only thing that's fucked up around here is me. As if it cannot spiral further, I start doubting my existence all together and it's an extremely dangerous slippery slope that follows every single thought. Worse still, being an INFJ means that every little action I see in the outer world gets noticed and processed, generated into a thought. It's a plunge.
And then from Brother Bear. I'll only quote the lyrics from the first part:
Lyrics:
Everywhere I turn, I hurt someone
But there's nothing I can say to change the things I've done
Of all the things I hid from you, I cannot hide the shame
And I pray someone, something will come to take away the pain
There's no way out of this dark place
No hope, no future
I know I can't be free and I can't see another way
I can't face another day
Tell me where, did I do wrong
Everyone I loved, they're all gone
I'd do everything so differently but I can't turn back the time
There's no shelter from the storm inside of me
There's no way out of this dark place
No hope, no future
I know I can't be free and I can't see another way
I can't face another day
Now for MBTI stuff, before I go off do attempt to do some work (not before doing whatever that distracting thing is I do and I'm not proud of...I'm going to run out of ways of concealing it soon...sigh).
1. How to Spot Functions in Daily Life Se: Notices how beautiful the show is, the vividness of colour depth. Enjoys the physical aesthetics of the piece and comments on how much fun it probably is to hunt, ride and engage in other physical activities. Watches it once, has no interest in doing so again. Dominants: ESTP, ESFP Auxiliaries: ISTP, ISFP Tertiaries: ENTJ, ENFJ Inferiors: INTJ, INFJ
Si: Notices the pattern of seasons and how they fall into repetitive plot lines, which either is comforting or irritating to the Si-user, depending on how much they like plots to go unchanged through multiple seasonal arcs. If knowledgeable about the period, complains about the historical inaccuracies or "modernised views on morality." Notices that Lady Mary is wearing a dress previously seen in The Forsyte Saga. Dominants: ISTJ, ISFJ Auxiliaries: ESTJ, ESFJ Tertiaries: INTP, INFP Inferiors: ENTP, ENFP Ne: Thinks up a dozen different, far better plot lines than the one the writer chose, and laments that none of them were actually pursued, because their version of events is far more awesome and unexpected. Enjoys keeping track of all the main characters and tends to guess plot conclusions before they go for the big reveal. Dominants: ENTP, ENFP Auxiliaries: INTP, INFP Tertiaries: ESTJ, ESFJ Inferiors: ISTJ, ISFJ Ni: Foresees all the fates of the individual characters and knows exactly how the series will turn out and how others will respond to it. Finds the series somewhat superficial and lacking any true depth, so Ni retreats inside itself to ponder the deeper moral implications of propagating cultural stereotypes and the effect it will likely have on future generations. Dominants: INTJ, INFJ Auxiliaries: ENTJ, ENFJ Tertiaries: ISTP, ISFP Inferiors: ESTP, ESFP Fe: Assesses all the characters based on moral behaviour and whether or not they keep the best interest of others in mind. Inevitably winds up disliking various characters and has no qualms about calling them names, based on their decisions and their treatment of other people. Tends toward objectivity in these affairs, but is also inclined to feel sorry for even characters they hate when bad things happen to them because...it's sad. Dominants: ESFJ, ENFJ Auxiliaries: ISFJ, INFJ Tertiaries: ESTP, ENTP Inferiors: ISTP, INTP Fi: Manages to sit through the various death scenes without turning into a puddle of angsty watery goo, but rails against the characters who insist on suppressing other characters' decisions or in trying to "censor" them for the greater good of the group. Prefers the more stoic characters overall, those that keep their emotions close to their chest. Dominants: ISFP, INFP Auxiliaries: ESFP, ENFP Tertiaries: ISTJ, INTJ Inferiors: ESTJ, ENTJ Te: Points out the factual improbabilities of certain plot twists and remarks on plot holes, while also pointing out logical solutions to every character's problems and scoffing at any mistakes. When asked, frankly asserts their opinion on the series on the whole, without censoring their views. Dominants: ESTJ, ENTJ Auxiliaries: ISTJ, INTJ Tertiaries: ESFP, ENFP Inferiors: ISFP, INFP Ti: Analyses all the characters' motives in an attempt to understand them, which means also analysing the decisions of the writer in an attempt to find some logical explanation for redundant plot lines, unexplained motivations or behaviours, or plot holes. Notices logical inconsistencies. Will not mention their conclusions about these motives until fully formed. Dominants: ISTP, INTP Auxiliaries: ESTP, ENTP Tertiaries: ISFJ, INFJ Inferiors: ESFJ, ENFJ 2. "Be Interesting" by INFJ
Well, actually, you are welcomed to talk about the weather, only if you would like to tell me how your observation of the weather is related to what's going on with your life. I'm very content to listen to you ramble on and on about what happened, even if I'm given only 10% of the conversation to contribute my own thoughts. Small talk though...not a fan. But it's necessary as conversation starters, I suppose. "Starters" being the keyword here.
3. Bitches of MBTI
Loud bitches: ENFP, ESFP, ESFJ, ENFJ
Basic bitches: ISFJ, ISTJ
Whiny little bitches: INFP
Bad bitches: ENTP, ISTP, ESTP
Secretly a bitch: INFJ, INTP, ISFP
Actual bitches: INTJ, ENTJ, ESTJ
4. INFJs and Introductions
Even as a kid, I never understood introductions. How can a person introduce themselves in a single line? There's too much to every single person for them to condense into one line and to do so is to undermine other experiences for the sake of those more "important" to mention. Of course, I can still understand a person from that one line, but I don't like to hear things forced out of people's mouths. If they want to confide in me, then they would come to me and tell me more than 1 line about themselves. If they don't, then you should not make them say anything. Introductions are necessary, yes, but it doesn't mean that they aren't stupid and very annoying.
5. INFJ and Sensing Emotions
"We are so hyper aware of the feelings of others, it's like a superpower that we can't turn off. When with others, we are hyper aware of their emotions and our brain goes into overdrive trying to analyse and make sense of their reactions so we can alter our actions accordingly. We have done this from birth so it's automatic and we don't notice it. That's why we feel so exhausted after social situations because we invest ourselves so deeply into the emotions of others without even knowing it."
I don't like huge groups of people because of that. I'm not just socially anxious (which may make me seem like an INFP at times), I can feel people's emotional states. Sitting in a class in the morning with people doing work makes me sense every bit of stress flowing off them. I can feel that person's stress - that dull, frustrated stress, and that other person's stress - that panicky, heart-racing stress, that his, and hers, and everyone's too. Without doing anything, just by being there, I feel exhausted, tired, overwhelmed. I'm not an extrovert, I cannot get rid of these emotions and I am turned inwardly by default. Can you imagine what going into a room with people who got detained felt like? You could feel the despondency, the sense of failure, it's so bloody strong that I can't tell whether it's me or them, or both. My blog address is about a white dove with black feathers, right? At this point I don't think I have any feathers left from being so stressed out all the damn time. Please, just for a moment, let me relax.
You mirroring assholes! Stop cheating my feelings and my emotions, seriously. But look, look there. I have no choice, do I? I guess I'll play pretend too.
Actually Deep: INTJ, INTP, ENFP, INFJ
Problem is that everyone I know belonging to these types are fucked-up versions of their base type.
Doesn't Care: ISTP, ISFJ, ESTP, ESFP
Well, at least you're honest about it, not a pretend.
Really. Did I for, even a moment, thought that I was going to be okay again? I don't think stabbing myself in the eyes can blind me from the kind of utter depression meant for my good self.
I rely on the wrong people and then wanted so badly to believe I would be alright again. No I can't. Even those distracting activities that I take part in very unwillingly are starting to become awfully addicting. I'm even aware of how absolutely twisted that kind of happiness is, but this world won't let me catch a break, will it?
Even the most bone-headed person will know that something is horribly fucked up when the only way that work can be done is if I distract myself in the most horrible ways. Hold this and move it if you want while I try to do this alright?
Efficient. Intelligent. Quick. I know they are praises but damn, I would trade all these away for some emotional stability and to not feel like I want to die every second. Why do these qualities even matter if they aren't going to be put to use? What's the point in me trying to do anything if, within 5 minutes, I'm at the point of snapping.
A good idea was given in class today - hanging. Now where would I get some rope and where should I attempt the hanging?
I made so many mistakes in my life, it's unredeemable. Even at the last, I put my faith in the wrong people. They cannot save me. Nobody can save me but myself and I've already given up. Why do I entrust my all to someone who can never be there when I need them? Why do I befriend those who can never understand me? Why am I dealt such a horrible lot that I had to resort to turning to these people? I tried to believe in them, but it was an empty hope.
I can't even find the tears to cry. A depressed person in my class is pitied for her state, but she has a boyfriend who is always taking care of her. A story is told to us of a persistent student who had problems, but he had the support of his teachers. What do I have? The pretences of people who think they care. People who actually care but cannot understand.
Staying at home because you have depression? As if life, my parents, my entire fucking circumstance would allow me to! Getting teachers to help you, but do I have a teacher who even fucking notices my problems? Seriously, how much worse a lot can I have been dealt? Fuck, I can't even cry in my own room! How much am I supposed to hold in?!
Just give me one person, please, who honestly cares and understands. Not someone who cares but cannot understand. Especially not someone who pretends to care but actually doesn't or doesn't know what caring means. But it's my fault, to even choose to confide in the latter. Stupidity at it's finest.
"If I die tonight, the stars will still shine, the sun will still rise and the moon will still illuminate the night. The universe will soon forget your existence - that speck of dust that existed for a mere glimmer. So, why not?"
Because I wish for the day that I can even feel a sliver of the happiness I show on the outside. That mask I put on, she seems like such a happy person. I keep hoping that if I endure longer, I will find that someone who cares and understands. But I don't think I can or ever could.
I'm tired of being me and being alive. I'm tired of being me and life. I'm tired of being me. I'm tired of me. I'm tired.
My brain is always close to being dysfunctional on Tuesdays, given that I tend to expend a lot of energy during PE and classes end so late. With the A levels drawing closer, there are increasing amounts of in-class tests and supplementary lessons and I've taken it upon myself to show up for the History lessons on Tuesday. What that necessarily means is that I come home with a throbbing headache and absolutely no willpower to do anything than sit in front of my computer. In fact, I think it's this precise time of the week that I tend to snap at the most number of people.
So since this Tuesday nonsense is going to continue for much longer and I frankly feel no need to fight my lack of willpower, I decided that may I'll just find a few things to rant about...meaningful things I suppose. I don't know why my brain's alternative to "I'm too tired to do work" is to turn towards even more complex problems...
1. On Foresight
The thing is, being an INFJ who is also tested for being a HSP, means that my Ni is extremely strong, so much so that events that I predict in life have never been proven wrong. HSP, for those unaware, stands for Highly Sensitive Person, and is a term used to describe a person who has the innate trait of high sensory processing sensitivity. Common signs are sensitivity to loud noises, bright or fluorescent lights and strong smells. While it is not same as being anxious, HSP people are much more likely than non-HSP people to be overly anxious and develop social anxiety.
But less about that and more about the power of foresight. An INFJ's power of foresight comes with their Ni-dom, i.e. a dominant introverted intuition, which grants the ability to answer the fundamental question of "What will be?" While INTJs also share the same dominant function, due to their auxiliary function being Te, a logical-reasoning function, they are much more rational in their foresight. Furthermore, INTJ's Feeling function is Fi, which is more concerned with the individual's own emotions rather than those around them. Thus, INFJs are much more likely than INTJs to have an almost supernatural foresight ability.
How foresight works is that INFJs are exceptional at information-gathering in the intangible areas. We don't notice things around us, because our Se is inferior, and we tend to be quite clumsy. But I suppose the world always find an equilibrium to settle on and in return for losing our ability to grasp the tangible world, INFJs become adept at a young age to see beneath the surface. It makes us crazy people, especially in an ESTP world, because what we see cannot be proven with solid and concrete evidence. Such evidence just doesn't exist for what we know.
INFJs can foresee things simply because we see, in real time, what others cannot see, mostly within themselves. I think the condition of the INFJ is explained very well here:
INFJs are known as "old souls", i.e. souls that have lived too many times before. Now, I don't necessarily believe in the existence of souls (well maybe I do, but I'm not fighting anyone over this), but what I can say is that, yes, I do feel like I have an old soul. I know I am not exceedingly intellectually superior, like the INTJ, but what I do know is that I have a sort of maturity in understanding complex emotions that others lack.
What results is not an ENFJ-like charisma, that comes with Fe, not Ni. What Ni teaches us is what will be from what we can see. We see in others what they cannot see within themselves. In other words, emotions, feelings and thoughts that others wish to deny, or are not yet mature enough to understand and acknowledge. We are not mystical, it's simply close observation.
Ni works by taking many and creating few, opposite of Ne, which takes few and makes many. What this means is that we watch people behave very closely and through the patterns of their behaviour, we come to form accurate theories and predictions for the future. We understand at a young age what a set of behaviour means, what a certain aura from a person means, etc etc. And because of that, we can predict what will come.
The problem INFJs face, I think, is whether we have the right to intervene in the lives of others. As with the specific problem I'm thinking about, I can see very clearly 3 possible endings and I also know the relative likelihood of occurrence. I don't think Ni is amazing in any way because I'm simply coming up with possible consequences for a series of actions. Given that people remain rather constant unless provoked, it is really not scary to imagine how INFJs can predict the future.
In the 3 endings I see, the first one is the most unlikely because of 2 factors. Firstly, it runs on a very short time limit, a tangible time limit, actually. Secondly, the consistency of behaviour that has been prevalent indicates to me that within that short time limit, there is unlikely to be any change...of course, unless I instigate it. This ending will be the most beneficial to me, but at the same time, I am reluctant to play a hand in warping the future. I have attempted to nudge things very gently, but as with the way INFJs work, even our nudges are so subtle it takes an equally subtle person to react to it. I do want this ending to come about, if not for selfish reasons, but I have decided on non-intervention.
The second ending, the most likely ending, is most likely because of reverse situations. It has no time limit and is simply waiting for an occurrence to happen in an entire lifespan. Thus, the time limit is incredibly long and given the emotional maturation of most people, will most likely happen. The consequences of this ending can happen 2 ways and I hope sincerely like the less likely one will happen. There are unpleasant results to this ending, but it reaches this point, it is no longer my business.
The third ending is also an idealistic one, but is less selfish than the first. It counts on the fact that within the entire timespan, that sort of emotional maturation will never happen and anagnorisis is never reached. Anagnorisis is part of Tragedies for a good reason - if the realisation happens to late, it will end in nothing but disaster.
Will I play a part in changing the course of the future? I am unwilling to. In interference, I definitely warp the future, but then again, when I think about it, passivity is also a choice, in a sense, and I would thus be adding greater chances to the second ending. It is almost like a choose your adventure game with a biased die and I'm watching with baited breath the road the character will take.
2. On Friendship
I have a very bad habit of letting friends go. It's not that I don't treasure them anymore, it's rather the exact opposite. I find myself to be an incredibly needy and clingy individual, because my friendships are build upon the fact that I know someone needs/wants me by their side. As long as my company is wanted/needed, I will be there. My faith in friendships shake whenever I feel like I am no longer required...thus my general inability to trust friendships with extroverts. They spread their attention so thinly that it's not jealousy or envy, but rather the feeling that I'm wasting their time that drives me away.
After every year that I have to physically part with my friends, I tend to draw away from them. In my mind, I feel like they don't need my company anymore and if they do, I would know. I treat myself like discard-able trash...I guess I can put it that way...to be put aside when no longer required. This kind of insecurity goes so deep that even while being in a friendship, I feel sometimes like someone is getting bored of me, or I'm being overbearing or I'm wasting their time. It's a terrible state of mind, but I think it stems from my extreme hatred of my own existence. I see myself as being very...undesirable? That would be the right word, I suppose.
While I don't see my own friends as things to be discarded, I always feel like that's the way I should be treated. Once we leave the same class, same school, etc, there is really no more need for my presence, so before I can be told that I'm a nuisance, I distance myself. I wonder how long I've been in a stressed state.
INFJs are not smiley, happy-go-lucky people and an INFJ in that state is an INFJ in their Se stressed-out state. Then why is it that I'm constantly in that state around my friends? Maybe because this world is ESTP? I fear judgement so much that I stress myself to the point that my inferior function becomes so very dominant. People see me as immature, laid-back...qualities that come when INFJs become overly Se-reliant. How is it that I can trust no one? Well, if you can see that I'm constantly under stress, it's not hard to understand why I fear everyone.
It's so bad that even if I tell someone something honestly and truly believe in the good of their intentions, I will still fear and regret. After all, I wouldn't be my own friend if given a choice. I wouldn't associate myself with someone like me either, unless I am a really kind person. So is it pity then, that people like me?
So once again I have absolutely no amount of self-discipline or self-restraint. Yes, I did do all my work yesterday and, in fact, already made up for everything I was planning to do today, but I still feel a little guilty for not doing any work. Obligations, I suppose, that stem from social norms and expectations, but in this case, such obligations are rather meaningless. It's not like I will be able to work efficiently anyway.
During the break I took, more MBTI stuff has appeared on Tumblr, which is great. I've been keeping up with it, of course, but I didn't want to make another post about it. Turns out, keeping away from blogging doesn't actually push me to do work. What a surprise.
MBTI Type Teaching Things Not Taught In Schools ENFP: Advanced Magic, obviously Is this like the elective subjects or extracurricular subjects in Hogwarts? I would like to take Alchemy as an elective and Magical Music as extracurricular please. That's really cool. How come ENFP gets to be a Hogwarts professor? INFP: Introduction to Dog-sitting Hmmm...I don't think I need to take this class. I'm generally better with animals than I am with humans and animals seem to like me anyway. Also I do not approve of housing pets in small houses, so maybe there could be some discrepancies...I don't know. ENFJ: Making diplomatic decisions (for middle-schoolers and above) Isn't this kind of boring though? It's like taking Politics but all you are going to learn is pragmatic policy-making. Isn't it funny how the introvert of the pair is actually the more radical one? It's quite weird. INFJ: The art of pondering out windows I don't think this is something you can teach. People who ponder do so naturally. Those who cannot sit still and think in silence cannot be made to learn such a skill. Of course, if I'm doing this as therapy, then sure, I'll teach this. ENTP: Debating with inanimate objects (for beginners) I think this calls for a visit to the mental institute. Do you know that talking verbally to inanimate objects, or to yourself, is the first sign of chronic insanity? Why would you even debate with inanimate objects? They sure as hell can't fight back, so what's the point? INTP: Fundamentals of procrastination Please, I have a PhD in procrastination, I don't need to be taught. ENTJ: How to take charge of your life 101 You know what, ENTJ? I recommend "How to stop being a stuck-up asshole 101" and "How to mind your own business 101" to you. If I cannot take charge of my life, there's nothing YOU can say to make me do it. INTJ: Intermediate sarcasm Once again, I think I have a MA in sarcasm. Not PhD yet, but studying it right now. ESFP: Musical Theatre (but in a hot air balloon, because why not) That is stupidly pointless and ridiculous. I mean, whatever suits your fancy, but I think it's stupid. ISFP: How to not be angry at your art supplies Well, I think you can just not do art then. I know I like drawing and stuff, but I have absolutely no patience when it comes to anything besides concept sketches. Craft is the worst. ESTP: Karate Sensei, oshiette kudasai! ISTP: Pick-up Line Theory I think what's going to happen is that I'll go into this class and have a good argument with the teacher about how pick-up lines are unimportant in actually picking up people. It's more about knowing what buttons to push than the cheesy phrases to use. ESFJ: How to share inspiration Minion quotes (for Facebook moms) Errmmmm...no. ISFJ: IDK...Home Econs? Sorry, I will hire people to cook for me and clean for me. I sure as hell won't do these by myself. Not that I'm lazy really, I'm just very unreliable when it comes to these things. I'm an INFJ, I'm clumsy as hell, I can cut myself on anything. ESTJ: GET. RICH. QUICK. Probably like the 90% of "getting rich" books out there that are either filled with bullshit or so common sense that my 9 year old sister probably knows it. ISTJ: Rules 101 In other words, "don't pay attention in class 101" because rules are unimportant. Rules matter only when they enable good things to happen in society, they are meant to be questioned. ISTJs are most likely to force rules upon others...annoying. 2. MBTI As Students ENFP: The one who puts off doing their homework because they have to ponder life. Hey, how come the ENFP got this one? Isn't this INFJ (note: pondering life)? Never mind. Let me set aside this piece of work and join you in pondering life and procrastinating to no end. INFP: Tries to be the teacher's pet, but is always outshined by ENFJ. That's a rather uninspiring thing (imagine this being said in Zazu's voice). Why does it matter if teachers like you? It's not that I am very confident in myself. It's just that if I don't have confidence in myself, then having my teachers liking me isn't going to change that. If I have confidence in myself, then I don't need teachers to like me. ENFJ: The teacher's pet. *Snorts* Yeah, that's true. But hey, they aren't half as sad as INFP who actually tries but then fails anyway. Like I said, not a very inspiring thing. INFJ: The one who spends hours on essays, pouring style into every sentence. Gets a low grade because the teacher doesn't understand. It depends on the subject and the topic. I have spent hours on an essay because, but only because...perfectionist INFJs are perfectionists...if I am going to do a piece of homework, it is going to be perfect and flawless. Also, teachers...another reason why I don't bother being teacher's pet, note "the teacher doesn't understand". ENTP: Does homework sarcastically. Gets a low B. That's what I do for every piece of homework I don't care about but still do because I don't want to get into trouble. INTP: The one who skips gym everyday by making up ridiculous excuses. But I like gym class? ENTJ: The one that does all the work on the group projects. Aka, the bitch that I would rather swap out for something who does nothing. I would swap out an ENTJ for an ENFP because I'd rather someone who is laid-back and does nothing, than someone who doesn't consult anyone and goes ahead with their own bullshit. Seriously, these are the kind of people that piss me off so much during group projects. INTJ: The one that chooses to work alone on the group projects. See, INFJs and INTJs are very similar. That's precisely what I think in my head everytime a group project comes up. INTJs are just more blunt about what they want. ESFP: The one who tries to create High School Musical, unsuccessfully. No seriously dude, shut the fuck up. I hate noise. I can't even take a single little bit of unnecessary noise, least of all a bloody musical playing in the background of my life. Shut up. ISFP: The one that tries to work on the group project with ENTJ, but ENTJ ignores all of their ideas. I am very tempted to go off about ENTJs again, because this reminds me so much of a situation that happened a while back. ENTJ-type people are bastards in group projects because they spare so little thought about those they are working with and always end up hurting those who want to help but are not as charismatic. The ENTJ ends up turning the whole group against the poor ISFP. It's not just ENTJ, it's an "ENTJ-personality". ESTP: The one sticking chewing gum to every available surface because why not? What are you? 5? Go do something meaningful or sit down and think or something! Your brain will rot if you keep on going around playing pranks fitting of a child. ISTP: Roaming the halls during class Define roaming? Are these the anime characters that lie down on the rooftops during breaks? ESTJ: Skipped childhood. Is the principle. Wow, overachiever. ISTJ: Skipped childhood. Is the teacher. Wow, no ambition boring person. ESFJ: The mom friend, packs lunches for other friends. Basically the mother you wish your friend brings along to every BBQ party because hell, I ain't paying for all that shit. ISFJ: Distracted by crushes, probably falls for ENFP or ENTP. Ahhh...no? Wrong on both accounts. Was this even posted by an intuitive type because this is beyond wrong. 3. MBTI and Friedrich Nietzsche's Quotes ENFP: We love life, not because we are used to living but because we are used to loving.
ENTP: All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth.
ENFJ: There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
ENTJ: He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.
ESTJ: On the mountains of truth you can never climb in vain: either you will reach a point higher up today, or you will be training your powers so that you will be able to climb higher tomorrow.
ESTP: To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.
ESFP: Undeserved praise causes more pangs of conscience later than undeserved blame, but probably only for this reason, that our power of judgement are more completely exposed by being over-praised than by being unjustly underestimated.
ESFJ: In individuals, insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.
INTP: The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.
INFP: Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings - always darker, emptier and simpler. Without music, life would be a mistake.
INTJ: The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends.
INFJ: Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process, he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
ISFP: Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.
ISTJ: He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying.
ISTP: You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.
ISFJ: When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory.
4. MBTI as William Blake's Quotes ISTJ: Think in the morning. Act in the noon. Eat in the evening. Sleep in the night.
ISFJ: Art can never exist without naked beauty displayed.
ISFP: Love seeketh not itself to please, nor for itself hath any care, but for another gives its ease, and builds a Heaven in Hell's despair.
ISTP: Without contraries there is no progression. Attraction and repulsion, reason and energy, love and hate, are necessary to human existence.
INTJ: In seed time learn, in harvest teach, in winter enjoy.
INFP: To see a world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower, hold infinity in the palms of your hand and eternity in an hour.
INTP: If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite.
INFJ: No bird soars too high is he soars with his own wings.
ENFJ: I am in you and you in me, mutual in divine love.
ENTP: The true method of knowledge is experiment.
ENFP: Do what you will, this world's a fiction and is made of contradiction.
ENTJ: You never know what is enough unless you know what is more than enough.
ESFJ: The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship.
ESTP: Great things are done when men and mountains meet.
ESFP: The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.
ESTJ: It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.
5. MBTI D.Gray Man Characters ESFJ: Anita
ISFJ: Miranda Lotto
ESFP: Arystar Krory
ISFP: Suman Dark (Fallen One)
ESTJ: Millennium Earl
ISTJ: Allen Walker
ESTP: Road Kamelot
ISTP: Daisya Barry
ENFJ: Lenalee Lee - OMG, I fucking hate Lenalee...she's that kind of character who was a strong female character at the start and then becomes absolutely pathetic as the plot goes on. Not to mention I think she was supposed to be with Kanda and then suddenly she chooses Allen? I hate this character with a passion.
INFJ: Tyki Mikk - I know I'm really cool. I'm like the most bad-ass character in the series.
ENFP: Alma Karma - Spoilers everybody!
INFP: Jasdero and Devit
ENTJ: Marian Cross
INTJ: Yuu Kanda - Still my favourite character~ Bishie with a deep voice.
ENTP: Lavi - also very good-looking character
INTP: Neah Campbell - I feel like people who like him have shota-fetishes...
D.Gray Man Openings!
5. Top 10 INFJ Pet Peeves
6. INTJ Explaining INFJs INTJ: I see here that INTJs are 2% of the population
INTJ: More evidence that I am both superior and rare, as I knew. The world cannot handle the likes of us.
INTJ: I see here INFJs are the rarest type at a measly 1%.
INTJ: The endangerment of the INFJ species is merely an example of natural selection and survival of the fittest due to the fact that Fe sentiment is a chemical defect found on the losing side.
7. On INFJs Absorbing Emotions
And that is why, ladies and gentlemen, I am so scared of making too many close friends. I know that I cannot handle too many people at once because their emotional states wear me down. I don't want to sound like my friends are a burden to me, but nonetheless, it is reality that I cannot handle everyone. At home, I already have a lot of negative emotions in the atmosphere, so it's rather difficult for me to find a place where I can actually breathe out and relax...and to feel safe. I am more than aware that the closer I get to someone, I more easily I can sense their emotions, even those they are hiding. I don't regret it, but hey, I'm kinda weak.
About 13 years ago, I agreed to a challenge with a boy one year older than me. He was weaker than me, physically and intellectually, and I was sure that I would win. Yet 13 years later, why is it that I was the one sitting across the table from him, staring at him waving the proof of my loss? A scholarship overseas to take veterinary medicine. I was sure I was going to be a vet first. I was the one who was going to save the animals first. Look at where I am now. I'm a sorry excuse for the arrogant and haughty girl back then. I am no where near my goal and I can never reach it again.
And so I watched my life-long competitor leave, victorious in our challenge. I turn to laugh with my friends, as if I am one of them. I am not. This not my batch, have I forgotten that? I am living on borrowed time, did I forget that? How can someone lose their way in life so completely?
I have set myself on a different path and since I have yet to find a way to end myself, the only choice I have is to succeed. I cannot find strength in kindness - it is foolish to believe so. The foolish will never succeed, in society or in their dreams. Kindness makes you weak. It makes you hesitate in the moments you need to act. It creates fear where there should be none. It pushes you away from the path you are walking, like the lure of beautiful road-side flowers. I will find strength in ruthlessness. The ability to stick to my path, to effect the changes I want to see. The courage to stand up for what I believe in.
I witnessed a scene a few days ago, someone called another person a "shit", a person who wasn't around. I immediately flared up on the inside, which exploded, leading me to quickly take my leave. Why was I angry? Because I cannot take it when someone talks about another behind their backs, especially when those words are not those you will ever say to their faces. Why did I explode? Because there was a friend of the one being insulted and he did not stand up for him.
I have realised then what I value in a friend. It doesn't matter to me whether my friend will actually be hurt by the insult, I will stand up for her. It is not about the effect of the insult, it is about the intention to insult, to hurt. Silence means consent - that's the phrase we all used in Primary School. So how can I sit there in silence when someone is insulting my friend? I expect the same in my own friends. How can I trust in anyone who will not stand up to defend me? No, not even defend. I won't necessarily confront, given the situation, but I will certainly make it loud and clear that I don't want to be a part of this.
I value that sort of loyalty in a friend. If someone strikes me as the type who will not be willing to risk themselves for that, then that person can never be a friend and is not worthy of being a friend to anyone. Passivity, keeping quiet, just listening as someone insults your friend is utter betrayal. I can't even find a word to describe such people. Filth, I think, is the best description. I will not sit there and listen to anyone insult a friend, because that would indicate to that person that I agree with that insult. I do not and I never will.
In the way that Obito says it...
My version would go something like, "Those who destroy the harmony in friendships are trash, but those who allow others to insult their friends are worse than trash!" I legitimately feel sickened when I see someone saying nothing when their friends are being insulted right in his/her face. It's revolting.
And what do I think of it? I don't want such a person as a friend. Such a person, to me, is irredeemable, gone beyond the point of being worthy of being a friend. And that is perhaps a reason why I actually do think guys in Sports classes are generally more likeable as friends.
They are bull-headed, thick-skulled, a little dumb. But when it comes to friendship, they are beyond loyal. It does not offend me when a guy picks up another and punches him in the face for insulting a friend. That to me, is heroic and brave. Noble. To stand back, to fear creating trouble and watching, listening even, as a friend gets insulted is cowardly and filthy.
To me, passivity is a result of uncontrolled kindness, i.e. when you are so intent on keeping the peace, you end up becoming passive and inactive.
That's why I want to become necessarily ruthless. If you passively accept a friend being insulted, you are as much involved in the insulting as the one doing the insulting. In the same way, if I refuse to change myself in fear of losing my personality, I will soon have no part in this game of life. I will become a side character, watching as the world continues. My passive participation will make me an accomplice to all the wrongs in this world. I cannot do that.
I will play your game and I will win it. I will enter into this system of backstabbing and profiting, just so when I reach the top, I will have more power to overturn everything. In this corrupt world, if you find contentment in it, then you are just as corrupt as everyone else. Don't you dare tell me we share the same ideals, we don't, because I will never be as cowardly as you.
Passivity will lead to nothing, a void existence...and in my beliefs for myself - better dead than alive. At least in death, there will be one less human involved in a corrupt system. In life, I am implicated and in passivity, I become a driving force for the corruption. A passive person is perhaps even worse than a person who is driving the corruption. Why? Perhaps because I at least admire the courage and drive of that person. A passive person is nothing more than a coward, a fool who believes that hanging back and being happy in their illusions of contentment will lead to change.
It's time for me to wake the hell up. I am not a foolish INFP, I do not run from reality into fantasy as soon as I see it. I am an INFJ and I have a vision for the world, a vision that I intend to pursue to die trying. I am an idealistic realist, a realistic idealist and when reality and ideal merge into one, it is where I will find success. So first, I have to bow to reality, become a part of it, infiltrate it. Then when time comes, given that my beliefs have not changed, I will bring ideals to fruit, changing reality into my ideals, change my ideals into reality.
I have wasted far too much time - weeks, months, years - living in dreams. My priorities have become blurred, I am far too concerned with keeping friendships that are really doomed for failure - not worth keeping. Ruthlessness comes in 2 forms: 1. relentless pursuing of what I believe to be right, and 2. putting aside forcefully things that get in the way.
So this thing I'm reading says that for every corrupt ENTJ-controlled regime, there lies an opposing INFJ-led underground rebellion. And ironically enough, the right-hand man of the INFJ is an INTJ and the right-hand man of the ENTJ is an ENFJ.
For the: INTJ: The ENTJ actually sounds more logical and rational, but the INFJ is less boring to work with. Besides the ENTJ, the corrupt regime doesn't contain any other intellectually competent types, as far as the INTJ is concerned, and the ENTJ is way too self-absorbed to converse with the INTJ. The INFJ, despite his tendency to become emotional at times, is surprisingly, an intellectually superior being capable of keeping up with and even surprising the INTJ. What's the harm of participating the the INFJ's cute little rebellion (the INTJ happens to think that the INFJ is just an angry little kitty)?
ENFJ: The ENFJ is actually quite discontent with the way ENTJ is doing things, but unlike the INFJ, he doesn't have half as much a rebellious or revolutionary streak in him. He is far more worried and concerned about destroying what little peace there remains to be and unlike the INFJ, he doesn't support the "all or nothing" notion the introvert is going for. The ENFJ would very much rather effect change from within, serving as the right-hand man of ENTJ, trying to influence the regime's politics as much as they can. Whether it's effective is another story. Most ENFJs, despite their charisma, cannot compete with the more powerful and even more charismatic ENTJ and just become another pawn in the ENTJ's game.
ENTJ: He actually doesn't hate INFJ half as much as you think. He even admires the INFJ's daringness and capability of challenging him. The ENTJ would be lying if he claims to not notice the ENFJ's presence and the ENFJ's silent little rebellion, which brings out the INFJ's daring nature even more. "Now, if only we were on the same side" - the ENTJ would think, because INFJ would make an amazing partner to work with. Sadly, INFJs and ENTJs are always standing on the opposite sides of the fence. Also, ENTJs have an eye out for the INTJ...why is he there when he agrees with me? Is the INFJ actually superior? The threatened ENTJ goes into a more aggressive state.
INFJ: The ENTJ is a lost cause. The INFJ would rather effect change with as little chaos as possible, but the ENTJ is a stubborn and self-absorbed soul, the embodiment of whatever is wrong with the entire regime. The only way to correct the distortions of what could be a beautiful world is to overthrow the ENTJ and subject him to INFJ-style brainwashing. The INFJ admires the ENTJ as much as the ENTJ admires him, but because they lead opposing forces, they can never converge. The INFJ is also more than aware of the INTJ's neutral stance in the entire conflict, but appreciates his intellectual company, that provides the INFJ with insightful and fresh views on the entire event. Upon the first face-to-face meeting with the ENTJ, the INFJ probably also noticed the bastard's right-hand man, who seems to be a misfit. The ENFJ certainly caught the INFJ's eye, but upon further conversation, is dismissed as a coward with potential but unwilling to utilise it.
Now, for an insightful study on INFJ and their relationships with types that only differ by a single letter:
1. E-I Differences (ENFJ and INFJ) ENFJ: Fe-Ni-Se-Ti INFJ: Ni-Fe-Ti-Se (a) Ni-Fe vs Fe-Ni
For amateurs of the MBTI system, to have 2 functions reversed is no big deal, but as someone who has read up extensively about how functions work, I will tell you bluntly that, it makes a huge difference. The important thing to note is that auxiliary functions and dominant functions play vastly different roles in a person's personality. (i) The Dominant Function
A person's dominant function develops so early and so naturally in their lifetime that most believe that they are "born with it". For the ENFJs, they are born with their Fe (like the ESFJ), or their ability to care about others and be concerned about those around them. For the INFJs, they are born with their Ni (like the INTJ), or their ability to foresee and predict the future based on little or no physical evidence. (ii) The Auxiliary Function
The auxiliary function is developed later in childhood in an attempt for a person to balance out their dominant function. An extroverted dominant function is paired with an introverted one and vice versa. This ensures that the individual will have an equally enriching outer life as compared to their already rich inner life (introverts) or vice versa (extroverts). For the ENFJ, they develop Ni in order to gain better insight into people's actions without direct prying, allowing their Fe to become more effective, i.e. care for other's better. For the INFJ, their Fe develops to feed information into their Ni, i.e. through caring for others, they understand human nature better.
It is very different, as you can see. INFJs are actually much colder and more detached, as introverts should be. INFJs care in order to understand, ENFJs understand in order to care. But when an INFJ and ENFJ are placed together, it may seem like they are the same person if their auxiliary functions are well-developed. The INFJ's well-developed Fe may overtake their objective need to understand human's, making them compassionate beings. The ENFJ's well-developed Ni may take the facade of the INFJ's almost psychic-like ability to predict the future.
What differentiates them, therefore, is their base state, i.e. their personality when their auxiliary functions are ignored. It is actually quite observable, since ENFJs are more prone to directly asking a person how they feel, while INFJs are more prone to silent observation. By dominant functions, ENFJ's Fe leads them to answer the question "How are you? How can I help?" while INFJ's Ni leads them to answering "What will it become? What role do I play?"
(b) Ti-Se vs Se-Ti
Once again, a reversal of functions makes two people very very different. (i) The Tertiary Function
Where the auxiliary function aims to balance out the dominant function, the tertiary function enriches and deepens the dominant function. Thus, an introverted dominant function has an introverted tertiary function and vice versa. The tertiary function's role in a person's personality is to give them more depth to their dominant function. The INFJ's Ti function is a function that enables silent contemplation with rational and logical processes, enriching the Ni function, which is more "gut feeling". INFJs are intellectual precisely because they are the type to silently and carefully contemplate their Ni with their Ti, forming theories and beliefs that seem intellectually superior to that of other types (except INTJ [explained later]). The ENFJ's Se function is a function that grounds the ENFJ to their external surroundings. The INFJ detaches from the external world and that is one primary flaw of the INFJ. ENFJs do not have this problem because they are always more consciously aware of those around them as opposed to being aware of themselves. Se is a function that enriches human interaction on the surface level, allowing the ENFJ to be more social than the INFJ can ever be.
(ii) The Inferior Function
The inferior function is also a stress function, i.e. the function you turn to when stressed. For the INFJ, their inferior function is Se, thus leading to a habit of the INFJ to turn towards alcohol, sex and any other physical stimulation when stressed. It is actually quite easy to understand why. With the combination of Ni and Ti, with Fe serving as the only mechanism to balance out both, INFJs are not self-absorbed, per se, but just very detached from the external world. Fe feels emotions and INFJs thus see the external world as a bunch of emotions that can wear down and push them further into social withdrawal. Se fishes them out of it, it distracts them from their messy inner world. When INFJs drink, smoke, have casual sex or inflict self-harm, the goal is to create a physical stimulation great enough to silence everything in their minds. ENFJs conversely, turn to Ti, which in an unhealthy state, makes the ENFJ extremely rigid in their views. They become closed off from outside opinion, believing that their views are the best. This is in contrast with the INFJ because ENFJs are feeling too pressured by the outer world. Many ENFJs never reach this state, probably because the ENFJ's flaw lies in being too unaware of themselves.
It makes them very different. INFJs, when stressed, become very social and indulge in very unhealthy activities, which they will eventually regret and then drive them even further into stress. It is easy for the INFJ to spiral out of hand and what the INFJs need to do is to get in touch with their Ni and be reminded of their overarching goals in life. ENFJs, when stressed, become so rigid and so uncompromising that it probably takes a knock to their heads to remind them that "Hey, you are hurting others. You'll regret it". INFJ's corresponding knock in the head goes something like "Hey, this isn't you. You'll regret it".
(c) Similarities
Hey, but INFJs and ENFJs are the most compatible type when it comes to growth because each will teach the other how to develop their auxiliary functions. ENFJs teach INFJs how to communicate their Ni; INFJs teach ENFJs how to add more depth to their thoughts and beliefs. E-I pairing are meant to be very compatible towards emotional growth and maturity.
2. N-S Differences (INFJ and ISFJ) INFJ: Ni-Fe-Ti-Se ISFJ: Si-Fe-Ti-Ne (a) Dominant Functions and Perception of the World
To have opposing dominant functions makes 2 people polar opposites. Si is a function that trusts evidence from the past - what is proven to be good, to be right. Ni is a function that trusts flashes of intuition, with no evidence whatsoever. They are functions that directly oppose each other and thus, ISFJs and INFJs, while able to be best of friends due to matching auxiliary and tertiary functions, are usually unable to comprehend each other's world views. Ni gives the INFJ a lofty outlook towards life - ambitious, grand, unrealistic, humanitarian. Si makes the ISFJ cautious, pragmatic, family-oriented and realistic.
(b) Inferior Functions
While the inferior functions are opposing, the unique correlation between INFJ and ISFJ makes them very good friends in dark times. Se is allowed to transition back to Ni in the INFJ through the careful reigning back by Si. Si helps the INFJ to draw back from the extroversion of their Se to have time to reconsider and re-evaluate in private. Similarly, Ne, a function that when unhealthy, causing flitting and unstable mental states, is balanced by the Ni. Ne is a function that generates many possibility from one thing, Ni is a function that takes many things and forms an intricate pattern or theory. Ni thus holds back Ne and allowed ISFJ to take a step back and regain their hold onto what is trusted and tried - Si.
(c)Similarities
While Si-Ti doesn't work half as well as Ni-Ti, because Si-Ti allows processing of what is tried and tested instead of what is new and unknown, it still gives the INFJ and ISFJ a compatibility that is quite rare. However, this may be one-sided (I know from experience) because while the INFJ will be interested in listening to the ISFJ talk about the tried and tested, the ISFJ will most likely dismiss the INFJ's Ni-Ti as ridiculous and unrealistic nonsense. It is far too theoretical and Si is not meant for theory-formation. Fe ensures that the friendship is maintained because both will consciously (auxiliary) ensure that harmony is kept between them.
3. T-F Differences (INTJ and INFJ) INTJ: Ni-Te-Fi-Se INFJ: Ni-Fe-Ti-Se (a) Different Paths
INTJs and INFJs are an exception to the T-F rule in general, because of the rarity of Ni-dom and the connection it brings. Both are born with the ability of foresight and as children, are the quiet kind of kid who rarely says anything but when they do, they blow adults' minds. However, when the time came to develop their auxiliary functions, the two are like the same people who chose different paths. INTJs and INFJs are basically carved from the same stone, but moulded to different purposes.
Te is theoretical, rational and concerned with how the world works in a more scientific manner. Why do people cry to the INTJ is a question of what combination of chemicals makes this happen?Fe is concerned with human relations and interactions, caring for people emotionally. Why do people cry to the INFJ is instead a question of what is wrong that causes people to be upset? INTJs and INFJs chose different areas to use their Ni - INTJs want to understand the physical world around them, INFJs want to understand the people and their relationships.
Nonetheless, when INTJ and INFJ come together, there is an immediately attraction, not in the romantic sense or anything, but the feeling of an Ni-dom intuitively sensing the presence of another Ni-dom. INFJs are perhaps more prone to it, since Fe makes them more conscious of humans, but there is an Ni-dom connection that is a rarity in the MBTI sphere. It is not INFJs that are rare, it is Ni-dom that is. That is why INFJs and INTJs are the two rarest MBTI types.
(b) Intellectual Superiority
INFJs, as much as they would deny it, are as caught up in intellectual pursuit as the INTJs are. INTJs are less subtle about this - they look down on those who are deemed to be not as competent. INFJs will never openly admit it, but they refrain from holding certain conversations with people they deem to be less competent. It's not that they think you are stupid, it's just that they understand that not everyone has the time to have such depth to their thoughts and beliefs, and thus, conversations with such people tend to be quite dull.
In fact, as an INFJ myself, I can say that no other type besides the INTJ has given me as much intellectual stimulation. INFJs and INTJs alike have very insightful and fresh views about the world that initially seem bizarre, but are actually very well thought out. This is attributed to the similarity between Ni-Ti and Ni-Te. In fact, Ni-dom with a tertiary Ti acts almost the same way as Ni-Te dom-aux. It's just that for the INTJ, they do not have an Fe in the way that makes INFJs so much more emotional and warm. In fact, an INFJ with severely underdeveloped Fe cannot be differentiated from an INTJ.
So, if you aren't an INTJ/INFJ and you try to say something you think is creative and insightful to an INTJ/INFJ, don't be surprised if they raise an eyebrow and say "You've just thought of that now? I was thinking about that the moment I was born!" Let's face it. INTJ's motto in life is that "Boredom is a disease of the intellectual mind unable to find an equal." It's INFJ's motto as well, but you know, they don't want to hurt your feelings?
4. J-P Differences (INFJ and INFP) INFJ: Ni-Fe-Ti-Se INFP: Fi-Ne-Si-Te
Honestly, there is not a single function that we share. J-P is the most misguiding difference in MBTI. It's just one letter, yes, but it makes it such that not a single function is shared. I think this article says it better than I ever could...or could ever bother to:
(i) Different Driver Processes
The Driver process can also be called the "dominant cognitive function." It's the mind's first point of contact and the primary lens through which everything gets filtered.
For an INFJ, this dominant process is technically called Ni, but we've nicknamed it "Perspectives". Perspectives is a learning function (technically called a "perceiving function), and works by watching one's own mind form patterns. After years of use, eventually Perspectives begins to see the "pattern of the patterns" and understands that what is happening inside themselves cognitively is also happening for other people.
INFPs, on the other hand, lead with a process called Fi, which we call "Authenticity". Authenticity is a decision-making function (technically a "judging function") and works by being deeply in touch with how one is emotionally impacted by events. Decisions are made by "checking in" to ensure that they are in alignment with one's values and identity. There is a saying that the more personal something is, the more universal it is. Over time, Authenticity understands that they aren't alone in their feelings. They are simply more aware of them than other types.
Already, there's a major difference in how these two types see the world.
INFJs are leading with an intuitive, learning process and INFPs are leading with a feeling, decision-making process.
For many INFPs, it may be surprising to learn that they lead with a decision-making process, since decisions can be gruelling for this type. Although Authenticity is truly decision-making, it is the slowest of the four decision-making processes (the other three being Effectiveness [Te], Accuracy [Ti] and Harmony [Fe]). Authenticity needs to be able to register how something is feeling viscerally, and often an INFP won't know the right decision to make until they've made it. It's especially confusing when the Authenticity user can see a case for almost anything, so what's true for them has to be carefully parsed out.
Each decision and its subsequent emotional impact is catalogued, however, and future decisions become easier and faster. In fact, being so in touch with the emotional fall-out of a decision is how Authenticity eventually creates conviction, knowing in one's "bones" the rightness of something.
INFJs can also have trouble making decisions, but not for the same reason. Their decision-making process -- technically called Fe that we've nicknamed "Harmony" -- is faster than Authenticity, but secondary for them.
That is, they lead with Perspectives and Harmony is an auxiliary process. Effort is required to develop the secondary process (that we call the "Co-Pilot") and so when an INFJ finds themselves indecisive, it's because they're spending too much time in their Driver of Perspectives and not enough in their Co-Pilot of Harmony.
The result may look the same -- indecisiveness -- but the root is entirely different.
For an INFP, because their decision-making process can take time, it can feel gruelling to be pressured to make a quick call. Each decision needs to be in alignment with the INFP's values and even a decision as simple as what salad to order can be a frustration if, say, their relationship with food has become part of how they define themselves.
On the other hand, since INFJs are more removed from their decision-making process of Harmony, it's usually over time that they become frustrated with the inability to make a final call. They are less likely to agonise over smaller decisions because not every decision is a reflection of their identity.
(ii) Emotional Significance
As mentioned, an INFJ's decision-making criteria comes from their auxiliary or Co-Pilot process Harmony. Harmony is technically called Fe, in contrast with INFP's Driver process of Fi (Authenticity).
Which "attitude" (or direction) the process faces once again shifts focus in a significant way. Both Feeling functions are decision-making. That is, they are mental processes designed to help us evaluate information in order to come to a judgement. Any time you "weigh the pros and cons" of a decision, you're using a decision-making process, and what ends up standing out as important to you is based on which process you're using.
We nicknamed Fe "Harmony" because we think it adequately describes the criteria this process is utilising. The Harmony person might ask themselves something like..."What get's everyone needs met?" "How do I create harmony both within interpersonal relationships and the context/environment?" In order to know the "right" choice, other people's emotions become the most interesting piece of information. They're ultimately the feedback mechanism needed to determine a decision was the right one, because it's their emotions that tell you if their needs are getting met and/or if they're experiencing any form of conflict.
On the other hand, Fe is nicknamed "Authenticity" because it's about the individual's emotional experience. It's about checking in with one's own emotions to determine if an action is the "right" one.
Is Authenticity more selfish than Harmony?
There is some confusion around whether or not Authenticity is "selfish" or "self-centred" in comparison to Harmony. While immature Authenticity can be quite self-indulgent, mature Authenticity is vital for a healthy society. Authenticity is where we experience integrity, the part of us that says it's conscionable to offend our own values. The only way to 1) know one's values and 2) stay true to them is to spend time deep-diving into one's own conscience and subjective emotional experience [I protest. Values are meant to be universal - selflessness and sacrifice - they are universally good, independent of emotional experiences]. On the other hand, Harmony when immature looks more like emotional manipulation and social bullying, while mature Harmony makes sure all of our needs are understood and taken care of.
If offending others is more offending than offending yourself, you are more likely using Harmony. And if you're willing to be a total pariah in behalf of your convictions, you're more likely using Authenticity. However, some INFJs, accustomed to being misunderstood and feeling like an "outcast" will sometimes identify with the concept of being true to oneself over "society" and identify with this aspect of INFPs.
But instead of seeing it as a variation of being true to oneself, it's more helpful to see it as "serving other's needs first in order to get your own needs met" (Harmony) vs "honouring one's own experience first in order to honour other's experience" (Authenticity).
(iii) "Absorbing" and "Mirroring"
This may be the biggest confusion between the two types. It's definitely the source of endless internet battles for supremacy of "who's the most empathetic type." Both INFJs and INFPs have an almost magical ability to understand the emotional human experience. The way they go about it, though, is very different.
I once heard a description for "empathy" as "Your pain in my heart." For an INFJ, this couldn't be more true. INFJs absorb other people's emotional energy, whether they want to or not. If it's powerful and there -- friend or foe, intimate or stranger -- your pain is in their heart. The combination of Perspectives (getting into other's heads) and Harmony (having other people's emotions on their radar all the time) seems to converge into this superpower (absorbing emotions), a gift I'd venture to say most INFJs would trade away if they could (Well, for a day...before they start missing their sixth sense).
INFPs, on the other hand, are masters at understanding the emotions themselves. As mentioned before, sometimes Authenticity doesn't know the right decision until it's already been made, and to compensate for this INFPs become consummate role-players. They can manufacture an emotional experience in order to test out what it would feel like, giving them more content to go on at game time.
Since Authenticity is their Diver process, this ability becomes unconscious competence for INFPs and they may not even register when they're doing it. This is why Authenticity Drivers (INFPs and ISFPs) are easily the greatest actors and performers of all the types. Putting on a new emotion can be as easy as swapping jackets. When in the presence of another person's strong emotion, it's not that the INFP is absorbing it, they're mirroring it. Since this is exceptionally easy for them to do, it's usually a surprise to discover that other people can't come close to this ability.
The nuance of their ability to mirror another person's emotional experience can feel like absorbing since it's so spot on. But, remember -- this isn't another person's emotion in the INFP's heart. This is years and years of the INFP mapping emotions within themselves and finding the closest proximity to what the other person is experiencing.
Again, the more personal an experience the more universal, and no one understands this as well as the INFP. "What is the exact feeling I'd be feeling if I were you?" is the Authenticity version of INFJ's "Your pain in my heart."
If an INFP appears to be constantly self-referencing, it's because they are. They understand you based on understanding themselves. To self-reference is to enable more rewarding interpersonal experiences, though our culture can generate a societal distaste for self-referencing.
Perhaps, the easiest way to understand the difference in these two styles (INFJ absorbing vs INFP mirroring) is their relationship to time.
To absorb another's emotion, both the INFJ and the other person (who is emoting) have to be together in real time. This isn't post-processing emotional experience, it's an emotion hitting the INFJ due to energetic proximity.
For an INFP, it's about finding the emotion the other is -- was -- or will be experiencing within themselves. The emotion can be bound through time via works of art, literature, journals and any/every other way we as people express our emotions [I would be good at understanding bullshit poems if I were an INFP? I know they are emotional and all, but I can't exactly pinpoint what it is I'm getting half the time.]
(iv) Being understood vs Being validated
Both the INFJ and INFP personality types run into the problem of feeling misunderstood.
For INFJs, the Perspectives process gives them an insight into other people that is unmatched, and it can be disconcerting to realise other people don't have the same superpower. The result is a lot of one-sided relationships. On top of that, the Perspectives process is itself quite mysterious to other people. Both INxJ types (INFJs and INTJs) learn to keep their speculations to themselves. "Just knowing" stuff feels like precognition to others and can make them uncomfortable.
INFPs face feeling misunderstood because no one could possibly know them as well as they know themselves. The Authenticity process is a deep pool of nuanced self-awareness, and it's truly impossible to communicate all the variety within themselves to another person. If you peel back the layers, however, it's not that INFPs have a challenge in being fully misunderstood. If anyone else every actually "fully" understood them, that would actually be a bad sign [WHAT?] -- it would mean that the INFP had lost some of their individuality or that they're dangerously close to being too similar to other people.
Authenticity uses "intent" as one of its primary calibrations for whether or not a decision is right, for both themselves and for others. Oftentimes, when an INFP gets sensitive or defensive, it's because they think their intent is being called into question. When INFPs feel marginalised, they can also feel others insinuating a bad move.
When an INFP feels "misunderstood", it could be more accurately states that they feel marginalised, discounted and believe others are questioning their motives. The antidote to this isn't "understanding" them better. Most INFPs would say no one could ever truly understand them, anyway. The real antidote is validating their process of making decisions. As in: "I don't have to agree with you, I don't have to know why you believe or feel the way you do, but when I tell you that you have every right to feel the way you do, make decisions based on those feelings and I trust that you have positive intent." If you can sincerely communicate that to an INFP, they will love you forever.
INFJs aren't nearly as invested in others believing they have good motive [Ah but if it effects good results, doesn't matter if you initially thought badly of me - is what I think]. They are far more likely to be tuned into the motives and motivations of others to give a lot of thought about whether the person believes the INFJ has a positive intent. Where an INFP can lose awareness of other people if they're really excited by an topic, INFJs can never lose awareness of other people [I mean, I do what I do to help others...if I lose track of them, what am I fighting for?]
In fact, that's why INFJs generally need more alone time than INFPs (not always, but usually). The only real distance INFJs get from other people is when they're truly physically alone and this is generally used tor recharge their batteries for the next trip into the outer world [So if I refuse to leave the house, don't make me. I want to be alone.]
INFJs are far less interested in validation and are more interested in protection. They don't need you to agree with them, they need to know you're not going to hurt them, even if the fear of hurt is deeply unconscious [I...I don't know. Is this reflected in my naturally suspicious personality?]
There are some INFPs that have experienced trauma in the past and fear being hurt by others, but that's more a product of wounding than anything intrinsic. The most protected, well-treated INFJ on the planet is still going to have something inside them scanning for people who would be deliberately hurtful.
(v) Persuasion and Leading
INFJs, using the Perspectives process, often solve problems and persuade others by offering alternative perspectives. In fact, they generally solve problems by shifting perspectives until the solution become clear. They offer these shifts to others as "a-ha" moments [Wow, I actually unconsciously do this. Advice from me often comes from me giving a different way of seeing the problem, like how the other party may see it, thus leading them to understanding what it is that is wrong (I don't know usually. The answer is within themselves.)]
INFPs, using the Authenticity process, are more masters of emotional Aikido. Since they understand how emotions flow within the self, they can use this to redirect the emotional energy in another person, getting them to feel what they want them to feel [What? I don't get it.]
Both are powerfully persuasive tactics and both types are represented in famous spiritual leaders. And while each can utilise the other's talent, it seems there's a strong preference for INFJs to bring "insight" and INFPs to bring "inspiration".
Elder Scrolls Music Break (i) TES III: Morrowind (or Skyrim Dragonborn DLC) 1. Morrowind Theme (Call of Magic/Nerevar Rising)
Lore: Nerevarine is the legitimate reincarnation of the hero Indoril Nerevar as well as the player character and protagonist of Morrowind. The Daedric Prince, Azura, revered by the Dunmer (dark elves) proclaimed that Nerevar would be reincarnated to right the wrongs in Nirn (the mortal fold).
2. Morrowind OST/Skyrim DLC OST: Peaceful Waters
3. Morrowind OST/Skyrim DLC OST: The Road Most Travelled
4. Morrowind OST/Skyrim DLC OST: Silt Sunrise
5. Morrowind OST/Skyrim DLC OST: Blessing of Vivec
Lore: Vivec, Warrior-Poet deity of the Dunmer and "vi" in the Almsivi, was the Guardian God-King of the holy land of Vvardenfell, and ever-vigilant protector from the dark gods of the Red Mountain, the gate to hell. He honourably guided and protected the Dunmer for thousands of years until his loss of divinity and disappearance at the end of the Third Era, a sacrifice he not only accepted but helped to bring about. Following his disappearance and the collapse of the Tribunal Temple, he was renamed Saint Vivec by the New Temple and declared a member of the False Tribunal.
(ii) TES IV: Oblivion 1. Oblivion Theme: Reign of the Septims
Lore: The Septim Dynasty was founded by the legendary Talos, who took the Cyrodilic name of Tiber Septim and later established the Third Empire of Tamriel in 2E 897 after decades of conquest, thus marking the end of the Second Era and the advent of the Third Era. The dynasty fell in Oblivion, following the onset of the Oblivion Crisis in 3E 433 when Emperor Uriel Septim VII and his heirs were assassinated by the Mythic Dawn, a cult worshipping the Daedric Prince Mehrunes Dagon. The last Septim heir, Martin Septim, was located, but sacrificed himself to repel the Daedra and seal Mundus off from Oblivion forever, marking the end of the Third Era.
2. Oblivion OST: Harvest Dawn
3. Oblivion OST: Wings of Kynareth
Lore: Kynareth, called Kyne by the Nords and Kin by the Kothringi, is a goddess of the Nine Divinces. She is the strongest of the Sky spirits and is the deity of the heavens, the winds, the elements and the unseen spirits of the air. Patron of sailors and travellers, Kynareth is invoked for auspicious stars at birth and for good fortune in daily life. Some say she is the first to agree to Lorkhan's plan to invent the mortal plane, and provides the space for its creation in the void.
4. Oblivion OST: Glory of Cyrodiil
5. Oblivion OST: Peace of Akatosh
Lore: Akatosh, known as Auri-El to the Aldmer and Bormahu (Father) to the draongs, is the chief deity of the Nine Divines. He is present in every Tamrielic religion except that of the Dunmer. His avatar is a dragon, and he is often called the Dragon God of Time. He is generally considered to be the first of the Gods to form in the Beginning Place; after his establishment, other spirits found the process of being easier and various pantheons of the world emerged. He embodies the qualities of endurance, invincibility and everlasting legitimacy while promoting the virtues of duty, service and obedience.
(iii) TES V: Skyrim 1. Skyrim Theme: Dragonborn
Dragonborn: A Dragonborn (or Dovahkiin) is a mortal blessed with Dragon Blood by Akatosh, the Father of Dragons and chief of the Divines. Those with the blessing have an extraordinary aptitude in the use of the thu'um, being able to absorb knowledge of shouts directly from the souls of slain dragons. This ability nreeds fear and hatred in dragons, as the removal of their souls severs their immortality and renders them beyond the reach fo any necromancy. The title is most often associated with the "Dragonborn Emperors" of Tamriel, who are in a divine covenant with Akatosh which maintains the barriers between Mundus and Oblivion (Oblivion Crisis of 3E 433 was triggered because the Dragonfires died out with the death of Uriel Septim, weakening the barriers for Mehrunes Dagon to invade Mundus).
2. Skyrim OST: Sovngarde
Lore: Sovngarde is the Nordic afterlife. Those who are valiant in life are rewarded with an eternity here in the Hall of Valor, where they eat, drink, drawl and sing. Sovngarde is a realm within Aetherius to which valiant Nords go upon death, with the exception of any Nords afflicted with lycanthropy. Werewolves do not go to Sovngarde upon their deaths as their souls belong to the Daedric Lord Hircine and reside within his realm in Oblivion and join the great hunt.
3. Skyrim OST: Dragonslayer (Battle Music vs Dragons)
Lore: Dragons or dov are a rarely-seen race of large reptilian beasts. They are rumoured to be from Akavir (which literally means Dragon Land) though there are ancient tales of dragons also coming from Atmora. As the immortal children of Akatosh, they are specially attuned to the flow of time and they feel an innate urge to dominate others that is difficult to overcome. In the mind of a dragon, being powerful and being right are the same, thus they make no distinction between speaking and fighting; battles between them are actually deadly verbal debates (e.g. Fire Breath is made of 3 words in the dragon language - Yol (Fire), Toor (Inferno) and Shul (Sun). They are just speaking to each other).
MBTI Stuff, like finally, right? 1. Idealists on Deviantart ENFP
Mood: Silly
Watching: INTJs in their natural habitat: the lab! How fascinating!
Reading: MBTI safari guidebook
Listening to: whatever sounds there are I guess
Eating: Rainbows
Drinking: Rainbows
Playing: Chess with the INTJs! I won!
INFP
Mood: Inspired
Watching: TV shows that give me the feels
Reading: books that gives me the feels
Listening to: Birds singing their songs as they live their lives in this strange but beautiful world
Eating: Dragonfruit! I feel mystical.
Drinking: Honey, nature's finest
Playing: With my dog!
INFJ
Mood: Affected by the current atmosphere
Watching: Mystery shows
Reading: The Magic 8 Ball my friends gave to me as a joke when I told them I'm an INFJ
Listening to: Stories that people tell me
Eating: Mystery-flavoured candy (I'm curious what the most common flavour is, besides mystery)
Drinking: Mystery-flavoured soda, like I didn't even know these existed
Playing: Clue. I'm not psychic. I just really like mysteries.
ENFJ
Mood: Affected by the current atmosphere
Watching: The changes in energy of the crowd
Reading: People Magazine (my friends gave it to me as a joke because they claim I am good at reading "people")
Listening to: The white noise of conversations
Eating: Fortune cookies with my friends and comparing our fortunes
Drinking: Fruit Punch
Playing: Super Smash Bros with my friends...or bros...I guess
2. Because I'm Ready to Give Snarky Comments
(i) Tell them you're smitten by their mind.
Why, thank you? Now, let's figure out whether I've smite you with my mind because a) you are too incompetent yourself, or b) you are actually intelligent enough to be interesting. I'll take a bet that it's a) because, really, no other types besides INTJ has ever interested me with their intelligence...and INTJs are very insensitive, so that undermines their intellectual attractiveness. Like I've said before, it's not a good idea to present an idea to an INFJ and expect her to act like she's never heard about it before...chances are, she either doesn't care or she has already considered it years ago.
(ii) Skip the small talk, they're an ocean. Please leave the shore.
Or, you could stay on the shore because I sure as hell did not allow you to tread into the ocean. By chances are, if you remain on the shore long enough, I'm either going to forcefully evacuate you or draw you into the ocean, so well, you can remain standing there.
(iii) If they say "I want to be alone", leave them alone.
Yes, because if I want to be left alone, do not blame me if I decide to make dinner out of your corpse if you disturb me. I am very cranky and very quick to anger when I'm trying to have personal time and get disturbed.
(iv) If they say "I feel lonely", hug them.
Bitch, do it. Just because I'm glaring at you as if I'm threatening to kill you doesn't mean I don't want a hug. I want a hug, give me a goddamn hug. I'm lonely. I want a hug. But I sure as hell won't say it out loud. Not on my goddamn life.
(v) When they tell you they don't want to go out because they're "sick", know that they're lying and let them know they don't have to.
Thank you. Now, you can fuck off too...or...I could get a hug, please? And maybe...just stay here, you know...
(vi) Leave the party hand-in-hand when they get overwhelmed.
Frigging just hold me, okay? I'm freaked out by the amount of noise and people inside.
(vii) Listen hard for the growl of their spirit so muted anyone could miss it.
You mean which growl?
3. This Video Because I'm Lazy
Holy shit, bro. It's disconcerting when you reveal so much about us at once. Shush.
