Profile of the INFJ #7: and INTJ

     So, today, while I was taking a short break from work, I decided to research on a particular reaction I had a few days ago. Someone said something that I considered to be insanely stupid, and immediately, my reaction was something like this:

      And it was concluded, almost instantaneously, in my brain, that that particular person is retarded, or just intellectually inferior. It's a sort of arrogance that I keep very much to myself, since it is quite common as for me, as an INFJ, to avoid saying mean things if I can't do anything to help it. It's not the thinking that "Don't say anything if you have nothing nice to say", because that results in a bunch of ENFJs and INFPs who are basically fake as shit, and it's goddamn obvious when they are trying to wiggle their way onto your good side. My thinking is more along the lines of "Don't criticise anything, if there is no way it can be fixed." In other words, "This person is so dumb that I don't think I can fix that stupidity."

     Apparently, though, arrogance is not a common trait of the INFJ, but is a defining characteristic of INTJs, our Ni-dom buddies. So I decided to do research on how INFJs can display INTJs qualities, how the two types relate to each other, etc etc. I mean, I guess my INFJ kicks in after I have the "OMG, this guy is dumb as hell" thought, because I immediately feel bad for thinking that. However, I don't deny it, even then. I still think that the person is mentally backwards, judging silently, while my Fe is desperately trying to find excuses for that person for that massive slip-up.

     So I suppose that that's the little defining trait between me, as quite a cold INFJ, and the INTJ. The INTJ gives no shits about offending others, unless it causes trouble for them personally, and doesn't feel the least bad about being honest - I mean if you're really stupid, then they'll say it. INFJs though...even when I'm starting to despise the unreliability and irrational nature of Fe (still better than Fi, which is both irrational and amazingly selfish), it still makes me feel a little guilty for calling someone stupid.

     So the difference identified here is that INTJs are righteous and harsh, while INFJs are calculating and soft. Problem. Softness is something that I have found to be extremely unrewarding.

     "Oh, I won't ever want to be selfish, because that is against who I am." BULLSHIT. The biggest lump of bullshit that an INFJ can say. Since when did we start preaching INFP's stubborn believes in authenticity? The truth is that INFJs would prefer not to be selfish, but we are more realistic than any of the NF (Idealists), and we recognise that sometimes, for the greater good that we foresee, there must be sacrifices made. That is why we are Ni-dominant. Ni gives foresight so that our kindness and sacrifice is actually useful towards a greater cause. On the other hand, INFPs are the type to just sacrifice themselves because "I will never be selfish" and then neglect the far-reaching consequences of that action. Same for the rest of the NFs, though ENFJs technically should fair better, unless the Ni is grossly underdeveloped, or Fe is so overwhelming that they just go super protagonistic thinking with everything.

     Yes. I am someone who has not seen many good things in my own life. It's not that things have never went well for me. It's that things that have went bad are things so crucial that they should never go badly. The ability to just stand there and take the world's beating is still intact, but the will isn't there. INFJs are quite logical, being the most left-brain inclined of the Idealists, with the ability to overdevelop their Ti. I am one such person. I've learnt that even if I can endure it, even if I can always get the short end of the stick and not break down completely, it's not worth it. If it isn't going to contribute towards the larger good, it's not worth the effort. Softness, thus, is a quality that INFJs probably come equipped with, but can easily lose if life is harsh or cruel, such that they lose faith in being overly empathetic and kind.

     What you get then is something like me. I have become quite harsh, especially towards emotions. I was already brought up by parents who are both against expressing emotions. My mother is an ISTP, so it comes with her personality to lead with Ti. My dad, as I have concluded recently, is an INFP who was brought up in an environment that resulted in him hating his dominant function, Fi. Then, in a last-ditch effort to retain my faith in having emotional commitments, I made a massive mistake that ended up with me devoted an inproportionate amount of myself. I can say, with absolute certainty, and not even feeling bad (which is a goddamn surprise), that I regret and hate what has happened and there is nothing positive about it at all. I trusted in the most despicable kind of person.
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     What is despicable to me? Not someone who is selfish and aware of it. I respect people's choices when it comes to being selfish or not, because either can contribute to humanity's development. What I hate the most, the kind of person I hate the most, is someone who is so obviously selfish, but so despicably fake. Someone who is so convinced that he is so selfless, but everything he has ever done screams selfish. So many times did I have to use the excuse, "Oh, maybe he just isn't aware of what he is doing." Well, if all the excuses were valid, then he must be exceedingly stupid then! I mean, how can you claim to be selfless and be completely oblivious to how and why you are so detested by some people? These people, in fact, are such nice people that they often put up with all kinds of personality that I can't even put up with. Yet, of all the people in the world, they find you the most intolerable and disgusting? Yeah, and you say you are selfless. I'm sorry, selflessness comes hand-in-hand with awareness of surroundings and of self. You sully the reputation of ENFJs and I really want to know another ENFJ to prove to myself that they aren't all a bunch fucked up people who think themselves heroes but are the most despicable humans alive.

     Hell, when an INTJ can see the hurt more obviously than an ENFJ, you know there's something very fucked up about that ENFJ. OH, you can sense the emotions of people around you? Here, take a look at your tertiary function - Se. That thing is situationally aware too, but that one isn't aware of the specifics of what is happening. You say you know the dynamics of people in our class, but that is because you have immersed yourself in their company for a long time. That is Se, not Fe. Fe works such that the moment you enter into a certain unknown company, you get a good estimate of what's going on. My goodness. This is hilarious. An ENFJ with a poorly developed Fe, completely non-existent Ni, mistaking a information gatherer such as a the shallow Se for deep Fe, and then being very Ti. That makes dominant Se, inferior Ti, ESTP...OMG, I HATE THAT TYPE.

     How is it that I just figured it out now? Probably because I'm desperate to think about MBTI after almost 9 hours of Math.
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      If I use that logic in the chunk above, my rejection of Fe, along with the remaining Ni, Ti and Se, makes me rather similar to INTJs. The difference is Te and Ti, which are the righteous and calculating factors.

      This is a great summary of how the INFJ-INTJ dynamic works. In fact, even before this particular male INTJ I know now, almost all my girl friends were INTJs. My best friend in Sec 1 and Sec 2, as well as the one for Sec 3 and Sec 4, they were both INTJs. My entire "gang", in fact, in Sec 4, was...63.6% INTJs. That's amazing. It just means that I know how to get along with INTJs and I am comfortable around INTJs. They are cold people and extroverts may not like their type much, but I think INTJs are pretty easy to understand, after you figure our what triggers them and appeals to them.

     I do love INTJs a lot. I may say that they feel cold and unfriendly and stuff like that, but I really admire and appreciate their existence. I mean, I do think all the NT (rationals) are a gift to humanity because, hell, humanity would be really stupid and backwards without them. Whenever I get too emotional, telling an INTJ doesn't comfort me, but comfort is not what INFJs seek. We keep things to ourselves, so if we seek others, we don't want you to tell us it's "okay", because if it is, we already know it is. We want solid advice. We want you to smack us in the face with reality and make us realise how stupid we are being. Both INTJ and ENTP are amazing at that, especially towards INFJ. INTJ, because they are naturally rational. ENTP, because they are quite blunt and straightforward.

     But I found out that INTJs do like it when INFJs express emotions too. Well, not exactly "express". They still don't like it, or understand it, when you go crying at them or being too emotional. That's why INFJs make great friends with INTJs because they often reign back their emotions and try to rationalise it. The other NFs, either don't realise it or avoid it. INFJs will not back down until they figure out the logical reasoning behind why they are feeling a certain way. And that, I have been told by my INTJ friend, is what he appreciate a lot in me. He appreciates my effort to reduce the emotions in my conversations with him and enjoys it when I try to involve him in rationalising situations. And really, INFJs, being quite curious and wanting to know the specifics of things, are very entertained too. I feel like conversations with INTJs are mentally taxing and quite enjoyable, not to mention they are rather quick-witted, though traditionally not as much as ENTPs.

     In fact, while ENFPs are best matches for male INFJs and ENTPs are best matches for female INFJs, INTJs are listed as an interesting possibility for both. It is a sort of dynamic, whether the INFJ is Ti-inclined enough to appeal to the INTJ's rationality, whether the INTJ's ability to try and understand emotions is enough for the INFJ. The fact that we both share Ni-dom and Se-inf means that in working together, this is an absolutely awesome combination. In times of conflict, they will resort to the same stress relievers. In times of cooperation, they both look in the same direction. It's probably how most people can jumble up their middle functions in their developing years (below 25 years old) that INFJs can be mistaken for INTJs. But funnily enough, INTJs are never mistaken for INFJs.

     Since INTJs are the stars for this post, here are some things that define them:

Random Nonsense #22: Pokemon Version Preferences

     I feel like Math Paper 2, i.e. the statistics paper, is that kind of paper that becomes easier as you practise it. And so, that's what I've been doing the past three days...at a quite rigorous pace, in fact. It's not to say that Paper 1 doesn't require practice, but I've noticed that most people find Paper 2 to be easier to understand than Paper 1. Since my niche, per se, when it comes to studying lies in understanding things almost immediately as they are taught, Paper 2 becomes a disadvantage because I am less differentiated from the rest. In other words, because Paper 2 is easy in theory, I can't just use my theoretical knowledge to pull me forward.

     But I'm taking a break tonight, only to resume tomorrow. It's just Correlation and Regression, which is much much easier than Permutations and Combinations, which can be very confusing and requires a lot of systematic thinking, or Hypothesis Testing, for which the formula is very easy to remember, but H2 Math brings along an element of needing to understand. After all, if you are given the choice of using a z-test and t-test, there is already the minimum requirement of understanding when and why each test should be used. Still, I need to go through the topic and familiarise myself, so that I can have more than for P&C and figuring out how many millions of ways I can sit people around 3 differently shaped tables. ...Honestly, what is the practical reason behind learning this topic...besides to train systematic logical thinking? It's not like I'm going into business of arranging people in a line, or letters into words. In fact, these words aren't even real words...just made up gibberish of letters.

     Anyway, onto the topic of today. My preference of Pokemon game versions and the reasoning behind it. Often, my reasoning comes from the version exclusive Pokemon, which also affects the starter I get to choose, because I am very annoyed with overlapping types. Things like double Ground types are fine, but double Fire/Water/Grass is a problem to me. Of course, in certain games, e.g. Emerald/Sapphire, I don't mind two Water types because they don't share weaknesses, i.e. Swampert with Ludicolo, but for the most part, I go by which version has a Pokemon I want and the resulting starter I can choose. I'll structure this part by generations, with the latest game as the basis of comparison.

Pokemon Version Preferences
1. Generation I - Pokemon FireRed vs Pokemon LeafGreen (RBY Remake)

a) Version Exclusive Pokemon (Final Evolutions)
(i) FireRed: Arbok, Vileplume/Bellosom, Golduck, Arcanine, Cloyster, Scizor, Electabuzz, Quagsire, Murkrow, Delibird, Skarmory, Deoxys Attack
(ii) LeafGreen: Sandslash, Victreebel, Slowbro/Slowking, Starmie, Magmar, Pinsir, Azumarill, Misdreavus, Sneasel, Octillery, Mantine, Deoxys Defense

b) Version Preference
     Well, since most of the version exclusives can only be obtained after the Elite Four, my version preference is determined by the first few Pokemon listed. Pokemon FireRed is the preferred version and it comes down to Arcanine vs Ninetales and Vileplume/Bellosom vs Victreebel. While I admit that I prefer Victreebel over Vileplume because it is faster and more aggressive, I like Arcanine way more than Ninetales. Ninetales was good back in the original games, because its Special stat, which combined Special Attack and Special Defense, as well as Speed was high. However, when the new generations came, it got a high Special Defense and Speed instead. Which makes no sense. Arcanine is a relatively good Special Attacker and Physical Attacker and while it is mediocre in the current generation, those kind of stats were quite impressive back in the day of Generation III, i.e. the remake generations.

     Once upon a time too, Arcanine used to be one of my Top 3 favourite Pokemon, before Weavile and Greninja kicked it out by taking 3rd and 2nd respectively. It's the mixture of a wolf and a sabre cat, what's not cool about it? Furthermore, its species is typed as Legendary Pokemon...it's not even pseudo-legendary by game standards, but earns that species name? That's impressive.

2. Generation I - Pokemon HeartGold vs Pokemon Soulsilver (GSC Remake)

a) Version Exclusive Pokemon (Final Evolutions)
(i) HeartGold: Primeape, Arcanine, Omastar, Ariados, Gliscor, Mantine, Donphan, Sableye, Claydol, Armaldo, Kyogre
(ii) SoulSilver: Ninetales, Persian, Kabutops, Ledian, Skarmory, Ursaring, Mawile, Swalot, Cradily, Groudon

b) Version Preference
     Once again, the reason for the version preference is partly because of Arcanine. However, for a larger part, the problem isn't because I like Arcanine over Ninetales. It's because of the rarity of Fire Pokemon in the two versions and my strong preference of Feraligatr over Typhlosion. It's surprising, because back in Primary School, many of my friends and classmates played Pokemon and it was a widely regarded trend that girls preferred Fire starters and boys preferred Water starters. However, apart from Blaziken, my favourite has always been the Water starter (especially Feraligatr, Empoleon and Greninja). Yes, Arcanine does play a part in the choice, but you know, I could pick Feraligatr and Ninetales. The difference is that in HeartGold, I can replace my Fire Pokemon with Ho-Oh. Yes, I'm such a noob, using legendaries, but seriously, there are so few Fire Pokemon lines (the only other accessible one is Flareon, and I prefer Jolteon/Espeon). So the mascot for this preference is Feraligatr and Ho-Oh.

     Feraligatr is also Silver's choice of starter in the Pokemon Adventures Manga series and Silver happens to be my favourite character, in both the games and the manga. Okay, I do like Zinnia from ORAS a lot too, and N, for being all philosophical throughout BW and BW2, but honestly...ORAS has too many things I like...and I dislike Generation V the most. BW always seemed to frustrate me because I found it to be ultra boring...mostly because I liked none of the Pokemon in the first routes.

     I like Ho-Oh more than Lugia. Sue me. It seemed to me back when I first played Gold and Silver that most people preferred Lugia's design. I don't know why. I was the rare kind of player who liked Ho-Oh's design more (stats and competitiveness were not a thing back then) and Raikou more than Suicune (again, it's a bloody sabre cat!).

3. Generation III - Pokemon Omega Ruby vs Pokemon Alpha Sapphire (RSE Remake)

a) Version Exclusive Pokemon (Final Evolutions)
(i) Omega Ruby: Groudon, Latios, Mawile, Shiftry, Solrock, Zangoose, Ho-Oh, Palkia, Reshiram, Tornadus, Kabutops, Bastiodon, Archeops, Dragalge, Throh
(ii) Alpha Sapphire: Kyogre, Latias, Sableye, Ludicolo, Lunatone, Seviper, Lugia, Dialga, Zekrom, Thundurus, Omastar, Rampardos, Carracosta, Sawk

b) Version Preference
     Long before I even bought the 3DS needed for the games, I already decided on Omega Ruby and it was an incredibly easy choice for me. I played Pokemon Showdown before the games were released and I found myself loving Mega Mawile much more than Mega Sableye, not to mention that I liked Mawile more than Sableye ever since RSE. If you played the games, you understand my annoyance at Sableye. The bitch goes for Detect no matter what. Also, Zangoose over Seviper anyday. I hate snakes and on the other hand, Zangoose is quite an adorable Pokemon, if only it didn't look so threatening...which made it super cool. The deciding factor though, apart from Mawile, was Latios. I like the brother of the Eon duo more, which is actually the generic choice. Also, Groudon over Kyogre anyday, even without Primal evolution. I just think its cooler to have a beastly pokemon with sharp claws berserking around compared to a goddamn fish.

     Mawile represents the idea of deceit in Pokemon. That cute and adorable face that hides a pair of hideous and lethal jaws behind. I simply love it. I don't like snakes, like I've just said, but that's not because of their stereotypically sly nature. I love cunning animals, wolves and foxes especially. I know Mawile is neither, but isn't it kinda like a tiny baby fox...with gigantic shark jaws?

     There's this person in my class, who has a Latios plushie keychain and I have to try very hard not to try to steal it from under his nose. That tells you how much I love Latios. Latias is cutesy and stuff, but Latios always gave off this kind of aloof and arrogant kind of aura. He's like...the INTJ anime character that I always end up having a crush on by Episode 3 in every generic Shounen.

4. Generation IV - Pokemon Pearl vs Pokemon Diamond

a) Version Exclusive Pokemon (Final Evolutions)
(i) Pearl: Slowbro/Slowking, Pinsir, Mismagius, Houndoom, Stantler, Walrein, Salamence, Bastiodon, Purugly, Palkia
(ii) Diamond: Dewgong, Scizor, Tyranitar, Mightyena, Aggron, Kecleon, Rampardos, Honchkrow, Skunktank, Dialga

b) Version Preference
     This is the hardest decision for me. The problem with these games is that if you don't start off with Chimchar and get an Infernape, you have only Flareon and Rapidash left as the choices. Houndoom is Pearl exclusive and it really gives the game an edge, but no, I prefer Diamond. There's one Pokemon, in Diamond, that is my 5th favourite Pokemon of all time. Going by the pattern of my favourites, Blaziken, Greninja, Weavile, Absol,... you can tell the pattern, right? Apart from Blaziken, all of them are Dark types, so the Pokemon that makes the decision for me in this generation is Honchkrow. Yes, yes, yes. You can use Staraptor, but it's boring! It's that Normal/Flying type you get at the start of every game and it just doesn't appeal to me. Also, might I add, Super Luck on Honchkrow is OP in-game. I'm getting crits every 3 moves. You may say, hey, Salamence, but you don't actually get Bagon anywhere in the main game.

     I love crows and ravens and other black-coloured birds. I mean, that's why I love Dark types. It's a shame that Umbreon is so unusable in-game because it's way too passive and defensive, or else it would be 5 and Honchkrow would be 6. But oh my, even in competitive, every time I get off a Scarfed Brave Bird and watch that Moxie boost go onto my Honchkrow, I start giving off this evil laughter. Also, since I run hazards, my Honchkrow never dies to recoil. This is why when you build, you build around 1 or 2 Pokemon so that you can support them well. Honchkrow MVP!

     Also, Silver has a Honchkrow in the manga, who was a Murkrow in the Gold/Silver arc. Furthermore, you know that guy that gives you the Riolu egg in Platinum. Yeah, you know, Riley. His hat reminds me Honchkrow and he's a pretty cool guy. He stars in the anime even. He looks like a goddamn Honchkrow.

5. Generation V - Pokemon Black 2 vs Pokemon White 2 (BW Remakes)

a) Version Exclusive Pokemon (Final Evolution)
(i) Black 2: Magmortar, Heracross, Lopunny, Whimsicott, Grumpig, Mandibuzz, Gothitelle, Zekrom, Kyurem-White
(ii) White 2: Electivire, Pinsir, Delcatty, Lilligant, Camerupt, Braviary, Reuniclus, Reshiram, Kyurem-Black

b) Version Preference
     This is where I have to choose "which do I hate less". Honestly, I hated this generation with my guts and it's NOT because I'm a genwunner who thinks Generation I is the best. No, it's not. I liked Generation VI. I think one reason why I hated these games was because I just emerged from Generation IV, HGSS. I was all like "Where the fuck is my Pokemon? Why isn't it walking with me anymore?!" And then I go to my Generation III mentality and I gave more middle fingers I can count to whatever bullshit that is that replaced my Pokemon Contests. You know, those contests you grind on until Master Rank Beauty contest to evolve your Feebas into a Milotic? And then the Battle Frontier is gone too?! WOW. Generation V added nothing that I liked, and the Movie Star thing in BW2 was a waste of my bloody time (I was bored, Contests were at least fun), and it also removed everything that I liked.

     Everyone should witness my reaction when I finally pulled myself through this painfully boring game and saw Caitlin. I was all like "OMG, I remember you! You're the head of the battle Castle in Platinum, HG and SS!" I was like sinking into my sofa from boredom and I sat up straight for the first time since I started the game. Also, I hate the starters for Unova...so useless, Meganium-level useless. Serperior with no Contrary and the rest makes them all PU tier.

     But yes, I have a decision to make, and it's so difficult to make because I like neither games. I do like Reshiram way more than Zekrom...even though I wished they changed the colour scheme. Black and red would be so damn cool. I hate how Reshiram is fully white like, seriously, don't you accidentally char your fur once in a while? So the deciding factor, is just Reshiram, I guess. I mean, this whole game was a pain and the only reason why I even entertained BW2 was because it had some of my favourites from previous generations. Like I had an Ampharos, I love Ampharos. So fuck your Lucario, that shit is repetitive, generic and frankly makes me feel like I'm licking every other Pokemon player's ass. It's that kind of Pokemon which is overrated as hell and doesn't even have sentimental reason because it was a pain in my neck to raise it up in Platinum. I had a stronger bond with my Garchomp than that piece of shit Riolu.

6. Generation VI - Pokemon X vs Pokemon Y

a) Version Exclusive Pokemon (Final Evolutions)
(i) X: Starmie, Pinsir, Houndoom, Mightyena, Aggron, Sawk, Slurpuff, Clawitzer, Xerneas
(ii) Y: Cloyster, Heracross, Tyranitar, Manectric, Liepard, Throh, Aromatisse, Dragalge, Yveltal

a) Version Preference
     People were all saying that BW sucked and then the fans attributed it to the rise of the genwunners. So how come there was less criticism for X and Y? Oh, I know. Because Generation V was absolute bullshit, but Generation VI added new things that were actually good and innovative. They did remove some things from the past and changed a lot, but what they added was welcomed and phenomenal. It was difficult choosing my preferred version, but just take a look at the legendaries. I'm sorry, a Dark type legendary? HELL YEAH. I mean I do like Xerneas quite a bit too, but it's a Dark type legendary! It's a mascot for my favourite type! Furthermore, ever since the days of RSE, my favourite Electric type was a tie between Jolteon and Manectric. But after Manectric got access to Overheat and Flamethrower, and a coverage with Hidden Power Ice/Grass (which I miraculously got every time I caught it), it became my favourite Electric type. And a Mega? HELL YES.

     Normal ability as Lightning Rod. It draws away Electric attacks in double battles, which is exceedingly common in ORAS, away from my Gyarados. Mega evolution ability as Intimidate, which with the exception of Bisharp, which is rarely seen in-game, is a very useful ability, considering my Gyarados is also an Intimidate-user. It was a beautiful team I hate. Double Intimidate, one on each type of attacker. Mega Manectric is also my most used Mega in-game as well as competitive...at least until Bisharp became too popular to risk a Manectric.

     This Pokemon is absolutely beautiful. It is a Dark type. It is a legendary. And it's frigging ability is called Dark Aura. I just love Pokemon and characters based off evil and darkness as themes. Yveltal, if only I knew it better, could become my favourite Legendary, but for now, sentiment for Pokemon game prevails and Rayquaza remains as my favourite Legendary.

 
     Lastly, some Pokemon battle music, top 5 to be exact. I know I did this before so I won't comment on it. Also, I need to get back to work or go to sleep. Just don't expect anything to be from Generation V. On top of having a shitty gameplay, shitty story and all that, it also doesn't have good music. What on earth did it do right then? Also, must I say, for a female character, I frigging love Zinnia. I mean, Nintendo gave her a Mega Salamence and a full Dragon team. She earned a badge of badassery. I would have totally lost if I didn't have an Azumarill with Play Rough.

5. Pokemon XY - Champion Diantha Theme


4. Pokemon ORAS - Deoxys Battle Theme


3. Pokemon DPPt - Champion Cynthia Theme


2. Pokemon DPPt - Team Galactic Boss Cyrus Battle Theme


1. Pokemon ORAS - Delta Episode Final Fight Zinnia Battle Theme

Weekday Rants #15

     So I was going to take a break today, but I ended up doing about 2 sets of statistics paper... What a huge divergence from the patterns I used to go through before - "Oh no, I was going to study, but ended up playing all day." It's not like I don't play anymore. I still watch Markiplier's videos, because I find a lot of motivation to be productive from him. I'll spare everyone of my massive fangirling, so I'll stop right here about him, but let's just say that I don't think my admiration of him is wholly exaggerated. There is some truth to him being a very inspiring person.

     But I've decided to start taking a break now...at least until tomorrow morning, because hell, I screwed up my Math Paper 1, so I need to at least make up for it with Paper 2 now that I have 4 whole days to prepare for it. Not to mention that it is a statistics paper, which, in my opinion, was my weakness only because I completely did not revise for it the last time. In fact, any statistic topic requires clear theoretical understanding only and the solving part is up to the Graphic Calculator. And unlike a topic like Complex Numbers, which for the life of me, I still can't figure out the real-life application of it, Statistics is very real and should be much more logical.

     I think that after the A levels, I may abandon this blog. I mean, the entire existence of this blog represents something of the past and there is a desire in me to leave. I'm not deleting it; I find no reason to. I can always come back to it in the future, whether to see how much I have grown, or as a reminder of what kind of behaviour I should be avoiding. I'd probably start up another blog for more productive stuff, like my opinion on certain academic topics, or even fanfictions - although that one should be saved for fanfiction websites. No, I do not write smut because I find no pleasure in writing down certain fantasies I may have of popular figures. Instead, my fanfictions, which were quite popular before I abandoned writing them, revolve around an original character in a fixed fantasy universe, e.g. Elder Scrolls. It requires an extensive understanding of the lore, including things like the timeline and the development of separate races, but I find it quite a joy to be writing things like that.

     Well, the point is that, this may be a countdown to the last few posts I'll ever put on here. This blog has outlived its purpose, if its purpose was a well-founded one in the first place. I've also observed the pattern of views on my posts and the channel which they discover my blog through, so I think I'd be able to start and grow a better blog. After A levels, though. There's only 5 weeks left until the start of As and a little more than 2 months left before the end. If I can't even pull myself through that, then I should really not be getting into any job that require minimum commitment.

     Anyway, I'm going through a list of my favourite anime openings, for the older animes. No, not Tokyo Ghoul's Unravel. It was good, until everyone started getting on-board the "this song is amazing" train and completely undermining the value and meaning of the song with their absolute poor appreciation of the depth behind it. Unravel is a great song, and it reflects how disoriented and lost Kaneki feels and the kind of change he goes through. People who pay attention solely to the tune disgusts me...but that's because of how meaningful the song actually is. It is an insult, really.

     Here are the top 5 songs, in any case, in no particular order. I'll probably do some MBTI stuff after if there's still time before I go to bed. I'm going to start work at 8.30am everyday from now on after all.

1. FMA Brotherhood - Opening 3: Golden Time Lover

Translated English Lyrics:
I can't seem to concentrate, my body is still wandering
If I keep trembling, I'll lose my control and go slack
Neither the sun nor my luck are looking this way but
I whisper to myself that I just have to keep on going

The situation is bad but if i just run away it means I'm a coward
There's really no prospect, but I'll just have to clear it with guts
Find my target blindly while I restrain my impulses
What I need is excellent sake to bask in my pride of victory
Or maybe it's the troubled face after a defeat
But either way, the two together make a destiny I'd love to manipulate

A brilliant golden time, I'll grab it with these hands
A forced poker face and I'm ready to begin
Drag me into that world of illusion

A pressure game with no limits, I just slip through it
In order to jump over that halogen border line
How many? What's the price I need to pay?
Which is it that you'd rather not sacrifice?

2. FMA Brotherhood - Opening 5: Rain

Translated English Lyrics:
Time intrudes on the new morning
I finally found
The direction I face is not the future
I kept chasing after the past

Endless ringing
The merciless memories seem to have no intention of forgiving me
"It's about time"
Fumbling, my troubles spill down my tired cheeks

Will the rain ever stop, I wonder?
For a pretty long time now, it's been cold.
Why does the rain choose me?
I wonder if it's ok to let it cover me.

The rain keeps falling today
As well knowing no end.
While we quietly nestle together
Under the umbrella I hold.

3. Bleach - Opening 11: Anima Rossa (I like this only because Byakuya...)
Translated English Lyrics:
If I could only fly like the swallows in the sky
Shooting straight towards the blue ocean
My pride wouldn't have left me lost on this path
But still, I can't sprout wings from my back

My legs will have to stumble down a long, long road
But I'm a man, I've gotta keep pressing onward
I only know where I'm going because I've got you by my side
Like a light shining on my feet, serving as my guide

Is this love? Is that what I feel when we're together?
All I know is my body, my heart, suddenly can't bear to leave you
I'll be up in the sky
Until the end

4. Bleach - Opening 13: Ranbu no Melody (Melody of Wild Dance) (This one for the GinRan pairing)

Translated English Lyrics:
Quietly, quietly, cut the curtains down
Blue flames are born on the dawn awakening

We walked and hugged, embracing a weakness that knows of no defeat
Let's carve an era with fangs

Quiet, quiet, cut the curtains down
Blue flames are born on the dawn of awakening

Until that day when I met you, the one I want to protect
I'd rather take down my enemies immediately than go for a long fight

So loved, so loved, that I don't need anything else
I watched everything from here, I'll finish it all and lead you there

Just don't let go, this melody of the wild dance
It will never stop echoing

5. Naruto Shippuden - Opening 5: Hotaru no Hikari (Light of Fireflies)

Translated English Lyrics:
Sha la la, someday, I'll hold it in my hands
The evanescent light gently burns in my heart

I have the urge to see you
So naive, I want to cry
A firefly that jumps in the summer fire
Never makes it out

Without a word
You leave me with a kiss
You nodded even though you were hurt
My life was so unsettled, it makes me sad

Sha la la, someday, I'll hold it in my hands
The evanescent light gently burns in my heart

Sha la la, my love, you can see it too
A radiant moon gently shines upon tomorrow
Dazzling brightly, brightly

(Now, I must apologise for Sasuke fangirling. I can't help it. I've liked him ever since I started watching Naruto 10-11 years ago. The fanbase for Sasuke has shrunk considerably as he becomes madder and madder, but really, Sasuke will always be Sasuke to me. Thus, a compilation of Sasuke from his youth to the end of the series [excluding future arc and movie].)

     Sigh, Byakuya from Bleach, Sasuke from Naruto, Hibari from KHR, Arthur (England) from Hetalia, Near and Light from Death Note, Levi from SnK, etc etc, I seem to have the habit of liking the INTJ guy from every generic Shounen. They all have the cool, detached and aloof attitude, and are presented as prodigies no matter the anime. Sasuke, though, has his INTJ personality examined the furthest since his power-madness can be attributed to the stress function of Se...which is a shared inferior function with INFJs. I mean, hell, it's even clearer ever since my shift to liking Suzaku more than Lelouch. Suzaku's an INFJ and Lelouch is an INTJ. ...Hmmm...

     Anyway, that makes a great segue into the MBTI section.

1. Stoned MBTI Types

ISFJ: Walking quickly from one side to another without speaking or looking at anyone.

     *Steps in front of her* Hey...are you sure you're okay? *Knocks her out and brings her home*

ISFP: Thinks that world is even more beautiful than usual.

     "The light is so pretty...so round and brilliant!!!" .....that's the moon.

ISTJ: Feels that he/she is loosing control and really hates losing control so he/she just stays angry at a corner.

     Good, don't be a burden, thank you.

ISTP: He/she is probably so used to it that you couldn't even notice that he/she is stoned.

     Wow, nice~

INFP: Thinking about how strange life is and their own existence.

     Just don't...you know...do anything crazy?

INFJ: So busy thinking about how he/she is feeling.

     Ain't nobody got time for that!

INTJ: Drugs don't affect INTJs.

     OH. IS THAT SO? Let me try then!

INTP: Conspiracy theories.

     Fascinating. Please, tell me more.

ESFJ: Gets paranoid and thinks that everybody hates him/her.

     YES, YES. WE ALL LOVE YOU. NOW WOULD YOU SHUT UP?

ESFP: Laughs about everything, even about things that he/she doesn't understand.

     ...Oh. That's perfectly normal for ESFPs, isn't it? They are pretty damn stupid.

ESTJ: Feels that he/she is losing control and really hates losing control so he/she protest angrily to their friends.

     May I suggest joining your introverted cousins in the corner so you don't get in the way?

ESTP: Laughing and making jokes.

      Nice. The life of the party, I suppose, which is great fun.

ENFJ: Laughing at other's reactions.

     Okay. Literally nothing to say to that.

ENFP: Even more silly, crazy and spontaneous than usual.

     Definitely the person to go to to spice your day up even further.

ENTJ: Telling everyone else that he/she is the least stoned one.

     *Narrows eyes* Are you sure? 

ENTP: Speaking about crazy theories and laughing to their own jokes.

     *Puppy face* Can I join you? I realised that I do like ENTPs a lot. They are smart and are very witty...not too serious, not too dumb.

2. MBTI Types and Book Quotes

ISFP: No matter where you are, you're always a bit on your own, always an outsider.

ESFP: Life is a performance, I thought. Perhaps the word "illusion" would have meant more or less the same thing, but to me "performance" seemed closer to the truth.

ISTP: "Is it...dead?" asked Tom, his voice quivery with fright. "A town just ran over him", said Hester. "I shouldn't think he's very well..."

ESTP: My name is Celaena Sardothien. But is makes no difference if my name's Celarna or Lillian or bitch, because I'd still beat you, no matter what you call me.

ISTJ: In an age of rust, she comes up stainless steel.

ESTJ: What is they were allowed to choose their own mate? And chose wrong?

ISFJ: If you were to be lost in the river, Jonas, your memories would not be lost with you. Memories are forever.

ESFJ: People who are going to get along really well know it almost as soon as they meet. You spend a little while talking and everyone starts to feel this conviction, you're all equally sure you're at the beginning of something good. That's how it is when you meet people you're going to be with for a long time.

INTJ: No, I can survive well enough on my own - if given the proper reading material.

ENTJ: We gained control of many things. But we had to let go of others.

INFJ: They were satisfied with their lives which had none of the vibrance his own was taking on. And he was angry at himself, that he could not change that for them.

ENFJ: You can't save people from the world. There's nowhere else to take them.

INFP: Every time I look into his eyes, I just want to take the ice cream or whatever I've got in my hand and rub it into his face. That's how much I like him.

ENFP: Melanie thinks: when your dreams come true, your true has moved.

INTP: Libraries were dull of ideas - perhaps the most dangerous and powerful of all weapons.

ENTP: I'm not married, he said softly, because I can't stomach the idea of marrying a woman inferior to me in mind and spirit. It would mean the death of my soul.

3. MBTI as Virtues and Vices

INFJ: Caring but overly sensitive

INFP: Creative but uncertain

ISFP: Free but unstructured

ISTJ: Hardworking but stubborn

INTP: Theoretical but indecisive

ISFJ: Altruistic but unassertive

INTJ: Clever but insensitive

ISTP: Independent but reclusive

ENTJ: Enterprising but forceful

ESTJ: Productive but too assertive

ENTP: Bright but brutally honest

ENFP: Charming but overly idealistic

ENFJ: Imaginative but unrealistic

ESFJ: Friendly but too talkative

ESTP: Hilarious but blunt

ESFP: Enthusiastic but irresponsible

4. MBTI Superlatives

ISFP: Biggest hipster

ESFP: Best beer-pong player

ISTP: Most likely to have a sudden breakdown

ESTP: Most likely to buy an illegal (and faster) engine for their motorcycle

ISTJ: Most likely to become grumpy when old

ESTJ: Best eyebrows

ISFJ: Most likely to forgive a criminal

ESFJ: Most likely to become a soccer mom

INFJ: Most likely to rule an utopic country

ENFJ: Most likely to actually wrap someone with blankets

INTJ: Best eye-rolling

ENTJ: Most likely to join the Illuminati

INTP: Best conspiracy theorist

ENTP: Pun-master

INFP: School's cinnamon roll

ENFP: Most likely to go on a journey and never be seen again

Weekday Rants #14: The "Right" Kind of Mindset

     Wow, I feel like this has been the longest week of my life! The day ended with a throbbing headache, which I still haven't slept off yet. It is my fault, though, that I made the decision to wake up at 3.30am to do some extra revision. I ended up falling asleep for 10 minutes during the Literature paper, which wasn't so bad since I did finish it in the end.

     I feel like I'm supposed to feel exhausted, but from the beating I took from Prelims, there's this change in mindset that I'm really appreciating. It's been a really long time since I even got the chance to sit down and think about myself or go over my thoughts. And honestly, I'm quite fine with that. There's this intense sense of focus that took over me once the reality of how much I still have to do for A levels hit me. And then it just got stronger and stronger once I began to realise how much time I've wasted these two years dwelling over issues that have no impact on the long run.

     I really enjoy this change, even if it's a long stretch from the kind of mentality I used to have. The deep thinking, heavy pondering and sitting still for hours thinking about things that have no tangible results has given way to this kind of obsession with productivity.

     Is it a bad thing? I mean, before this change, a key defining characteristic of my personality was the ability to think deeply. Hey, but now my brain has gotten into this state where even before I get into the depressing mood, it goes like "Hey, hey, hey. If you have time to be sad and lounge around, get the hell up and do something useful!" This sort of mentality seeps even into my gaming - where simply walking around randomly doesn't make me happy anymore. There needs to be a goal that I work towards.

     It makes me elated to realise that the things that I used to obsess over, be upset over and then get angry over...they don't actually get a reaction out of me anymore. You know you have successfully moved forward when a person you have had a crush on, got ridiculously angry at, etc etc, begins to fade into the background and becomes a fragment of the past. And I have expressed before, my absolutely hatred and disgust at being unable to move beyond the past.

     Well, now I've done it.

     I practically shut off all my emotional channels, at least those extremely reactive ones. I almost feel...robotic...and it's a rather good feeling. To be able to tell myself to do work in any circumstance that infringes on productivity is something I've always wanted. I wanted to be able to have that sort of focus and this slap in the face by Prelims gave me that.

     The pain of Prelims became mine to hold, something that should have been true for CTs too, but I stupidly allowed others to comfort me. I should know better than anyone that I'm such an individualistic person that only I can make me grow. I cannot let anymore lighten the fall because I need to break my knees to learn not to do the same thing again.

     I think it's also rather scary to think that as someone who now doesn't want to devote emotions or effort into unproductive areas, I would one day look back at the people I meet, who I'm not close to, and say "Who are you?" because I am that sort of person really.

     I wish that I will stay like this forever. I am done with that moment of Fi that I incorrectly believed as Fe. If I am so emotionally affected by my own emotions, that's Fi, not Fe. Also, I enjoy the interaction between Ni and Se, creating a vision and then relentlessly pursuing it. I'm done with all that emotional crap that makes me more human or whatever. If being human means I'm not going to move beyond a certain point in life, then I'd rather not be one. So have fun being a human and stuff...I've got work to do.

Weekday Rants #13

     Wow, I'm just completely hopeless, aren't I? Between today and the end of my JC life (for those in the US, that's the end of the regular 6-year college programme, I think), there's fewer than 3 months left. By right, 3 months is very short time and I should have no problem putting everything else down and focusing solely on studying. Then again, it's me. I can never EVER focus on only one thing, especially if it doesn't interest me. I know, I know. It's just 3 months and I can go off and do volunteer work, take a new course, continue studying Psychology, etc etc.

     So I spent the entire day watching Markiplier's playthrough of To the Moon. It isn't that bad, as in whether it gets in the way of my studying, because I am very used to studying while videos play in the background. Sadly, I seem to like Markiplier's videos a lot - whether it's because of the way he seems more sincere and more absorbed in the game, or as a person, or whatever other factors - and I keep looking back up from my work to replay certain parts. Also, the more important thing is that I have this nagging impulse to go learn some music pieces for the piano...because the song "For River" in the game is so damn good. And it's not that difficult either.

     No. Stop. Go and study. There's fewer than 3 months left. So come on. Focus. I know it's boring, I know it feels absolutely pointless - like am I ever going to use these in the future? - but you need it for your University applications. It's the Cambridge "A" Level examinations, not just another school examination, so I really need to stop doing other things besides studying. I am going to seriously screw up my Preliminary Exams already, but don't I dare screw up the final examinations. It's not as if it's the end of the line or anything, but I'd rather not choose an unnecessarily difficult route.

     The song, by the way. It's absolutely brilliant. Songs with amazing soundtracks are always much more immersive, eh? I mean, there's a reason why I love the Elder Scrolls so much.

MBTI Stuff #14: Animal Edition!

     Just a relatively short rant before I start on the MBTI stuff.

     I think it's hilarious that as this year is coming to an end and we are going to graduate soon, the contradictions within the INFJ personality and the rather "Tsundere" personality of the INTJ are starting to shine through. Apparently, it is very common for INFJs to "ditch" their friends once they deem that a particular period of their life is coming to an end - mostly because we think our job is done and we aren't needed anymore. Also, the inner softness yet extremely hard exterior of the INTJ also chooses this time to create evidence of their "Tsundere" personality.

     I'm actually very calm and quite welcoming to the change that is about to happen. Conversely, the INTJ who I know is desperately trying to harden and deepen the relationship he has, or intends to have, for the future. It's quite entertaining to watch him act completely out of his element and attempt to adopt the kind of emotions needed for deep friendships. It disgusts me, to some extent, because I admire INTJs for their superior intelligence and coldness, yet this one is rejecting these qualities. Meanwhile, as a type with Feeling as one of its stronger functions, I am ironically unshaken by the upcoming circumstances. If people want me to stay, they'll make it clear to me. If they don't want me to stay, they won't come and find me and I can just leave. If nobody wants me to stay, then I'll just have to find others now that I have more freedom to widen my social connections.

     It's bizarre that this INTJ is so desperately trying to make the best out of these last few months. I think if you are so dependent and clingy (the word "needy" is used for ENFJs, so that works too), unable to just let your friends choose their own way and play along, you should really have established that since the beginning. I'm opposed to such behaviour, since I think being a friend isn't just "being there when they need you", but also "giving them space when they don't need you". Well, this is what happens when an INTJ tries to do things like an ENFJ. In the first place, I detest badly developed ENFJs, because whilst well-developed ENFJs are one of the most desirable types, a badly developed one is on the other end of the spectrum - they scream to me "Stay away or trouble will come." So really, if this INTJ wanted to have these connections in the first place, then you should have made these friendships since last year.

     It is probably something to do with their tertiary function of Fi. INFJs have these moments of extremely cold, hard and rational logic-application, thanks to our tertiary Ti. I suppose it isn't surprising that INTJs will have their moments of intense emotional self-awareness with Fi. The problem is that they aren't naturally emotional types, so it is rather disorienting, for them and for others. But I think it's fair to say that if one type can understand an INTJ, it would either be another INTJ or INFJ. In fact, I was the only one that was close to being right regarding his circumstances. Nothing major has happened. It's just his sudden jolt of Fi. Like I've hypothesised, "No new problem has arisen. It's just increased sensitivity towards issues, making them seem like legitimate problems."

1. MBTI as Dog Breeds Part I
ENTJ: Pembroke Welsh Corgi

INTJ: Dogo Argentino

ESFP: Labrador Retriever

ISFP: Toy Poodle

ISTP: Boxer

ESTP: Viszla

INFJ: Rottweiler (A dog I wish to own, but too scared too...maybe like how others view me?)

ENFJ: Pitbull

INTP: Schnauzer

ENTP: Australian Shepherd (I think they are the most beautiful breed, because of their commonly-occurring heterochromia and merle fur)

ISFJ: Shar Pei

ESFJ: Shih Tzu

ESTJ: Siberian Husky (This is the most handsome breed, if Australian Shepherds are the most beautiful)

ISTJ: Scottish Terrier

ENFP: Highland Terrier (The most adorable little things...)

INFP: Japanese Chin

2. MBTI Dog Breeds Part II
ENFP: Rough Collie (Absolutely beautiful...in the classic way. I still think Australian Shepherds are prettier)

ENFJ: Bernese Mountain Dog (......Fine, I love the Bernese's colouring...but I generally like guarding dogs and herding dogs more than working dogs)

INFP: Shetland Sheepdog

INFJ: Border Collie (OMG, did I just win the lottery? YES! Smartest dog in the world!)

ISTP: Bullmastiff

ESTP: Rottweiler (LOL what the hell, aren't INFJ and ESTP exact opposites...?)

ESFP: Jack Russell Terrier

ISFP: Toy Fox Terrier

ISTJ: Dalmatian

ESTJ: Doberman (I love Dobermans too! ...I seem to have a liking for dogs known for aggressiveness)

ESFJ: Labrador Retriever

ISFJ: Spaniel

INTJ: Weimaraner

ENTJ: Giant Schnauzer

INTP: Australian Kelpie (There isn't a person who doesn't love Kelpies...they are cute yet brave little dogs)

ENTP: Wheaten Terrier

3. MBTI as Cats Part I
INFP: "Excuse me, why have you disturbed me sir?"

ENFP: "SANTA! OH MY GOSH! SANTA'S COMING! I KNOW HIM! I KNOW HIM!"

INTP: "Nope."

ENTP: "World Domination: Initiated"

INFJ: "I hear there was a party! Okay, that's enough. Goodbye." (Holy crap, that's adorable)

ENFJ: "My kitty. Good kitty."

INTJ: "Excuse me human. I do not want that." (Hahahahaha, it's so Tsundere)

ENTJ: "Mwahahahahahaha"

ISFP: "Hi, ummm... Oh.. Hey!"

ESFP: "Pet me. Right here. Hey! Heyyy. Okie thank you." (What. The. How did you train it?)

ISTP: "Parkour Cat." (This cat is going places.)

ESTP: "Don't screw with me!"

ISFJ: "There you go. All better." (That's...that's adorable)

ESFJ: "Don't you worry about those other kitties. Momma's here now."

ISTJ: "No, GTFO. Punk." (Get bitch slapped)

ESTJ: "You will obey me." (It's like that cat from Cats and Dogs)

4. MBTI as Cats Part II
ESFP: "The Hedonist"
The social cat.
Wallows in petting. Lies in the sun on the driveway.
Promiscuously affectionate, even with cat-haters.

ESTP: "The Tomcat"
Comes back after three days with scabs on his nose and ears.
Fathered too many kittens to count.
Will enjoy you while he's there, but not loyal.
With other cats, doesn't know when to stop "playing".

ISFP: "The Snuggler"
Inside lap kitty. Has a favourite lap, a favourite windowsill.
Spreads her favours around nonetheless.
Warm and loving, but don't try to make her do anything.
Purrs a lot.

ISTP: "The Problem-Solver"
This is the cat that will figure out how to get the giblets
Out of the bottom of the garbage can
Without knocking anything over.
Appreciates his pleasures but not a glutton.
Stand-offish, but will put up with an occasional petting session.

ESTJ: "Bossycat"
A cat with an attitude.
He'll hiss at a German Shepherd
And the dog will back down.
Knows his territory.
Catches birds to show he cares, but won't be openly affectionate.

ESFJ: "Mommycat"
Even if kittenless or male, adopts everything
Including her "owners"
Grooms you until you've got a rash.
Grooms other cats until they get snapped at.

ISTJ: "Mr Fastidious"
Won't eat unless the kitchen floor is newly waxed.
Will glare at you until you clean his litterbox.
Likes to scratch - and it's the same place over and over,
So you'd better get a scratching post right away
If you want to keep your furniture.

ISTJ: "Spoiled cat"
Only the best will do. This is the cat in the "Sheba" ads.
Will sink into depression if you forget to trim her claws,
Or if her coat is marked.
Strategic meowing - not for conversation,
But to get what she wants.

ENTP: "The Great White Hunter"
King of imaginary bug-chasing.
He talks a lot - maybe to you,
Maybe to something only he can see.
Likes to be petted, but only for short periods of time;
He's off as soon as the next synapse fires in his brain.

ENTJ: "The Little General"
Assumes control of the family and house.
He'll kick you out of his chair and demand half the bed.
Doesn't purr, but glares while being petted
As if you're only doing your duty.
Yowl rather than meows.

INTP: "The Flake"
Will play with toys, but bored quickly.
If you give in, you'll quickly have a closet full of cat toys
He won't touch anymore.
He'll sit, apparently doing nothing, then be off on a tear.
Will suddenly sit down and groom.

INTJ: "The Limit-Setter"
If you have to be around, fine, but he'd prefer that you just show up once a week with food.
If you stay home sick, he'll glare at you
Since after all it's his scheduled day
To have the house to himself.

ENFP: "The Happy Slob"
Playful cat that will leave food smeared all over the kitchen floor
And track litter granules onto the carpet.
Favourite game is peek-a-boo.
Likes to be petter, but won't sit still for long.

ENFJ: "The Ringleader"
Will organise the other cats into games.
When you get home to find the dining room chandelier swinging back and forth
And all the cats are sitting in the living room.
It was this cat's idea.

INFP: "The Little Angel"
Will look at you sweetly two seconds after she's shredded the new curtains.
Can't resist the kitchen counter.
Likes some lap time,
But only on her terms.

INFJ: "Skitty Kitty"
Wants to be affectionate, but never quite overcomes nervousness.
"Intrepid" is NOT her middle name.
Likes to watch the proceedings from a safe spot,
Such as the top of the staircase.