Enneagram Type One and INFJs

     I don't know who the hell decided that INFJs are rarely Type Ones because I just took the test 5 times over the past few days and I'm positive that I'm a Type One with a very strong inclination towards Type Two. For a while, I thought I was a Type Two with One-Wing, but upon further research and looking at common mistypings, it's much more likely that I'm a Type One with a Two-Wing (or Nine-Wing). I'm so confused.

     In fact, I do think that INFJ Type Ones are very common, given that INFJs are the most revolutionist MBTI types. After all, Type Ones are known as "the Reformer" and on top of that, Type Ones with Two-Wing are called "the Advocate", which is actually one of the terms used to describe INFJs. So there, I'm not a Type Two with One-Wing, but a Type One with Two-Wing. It's scarily easy to mix up, especially for me, because whatever Type One and Type Two are concerned with both appeal to me.

     Still, I think that I'm a person who would more outwardly display Type Two traits, with a very consistent underlying torrent of Type One ideals.

Type One Overview Video

     "Type One is the part of us that cares tremendously about integrity; honesty, integrity; being aligned with truth, with higher values, with ethics. Ones have very high standards for themselves. They do their best to walk their talk. They care about integrity and they care about fairness and justice, and ethical conditions in the society - in the whole planet, really. There are different areas that Ones may focus on but whatever their focus, Ones want things to be done correctly with integrity - with love, really. They are people who care about things - care about issues, care about what's going on in the world. All this is quite wonderful. The challenge for Ones is that they can become quite rigid in their views, in their attitudes towards things and even in their attitudes towards themselves. That rigidity can actually become harshness towards themselves. Self-criticism - They can be very painful and cause one a lot of difficulties and become very hard on the people they care about."

     It's not difficult to see how an INFJ can be confused between being a Type One and a Type Two. In a previous post I made about Type Twos, it is quite obvious that INFJs with a very developed Fe can very well be a Type Two. In fact, ENFJs are most commonly Type Twos, and according to our functions stacks, if an INFJ develops his/her Fe beyond his/her Ni, he/she will start to resemble ENFJs more in the way they deal with things in the outer world (Fe-Ni swap). Still, once again, an INFJ cannot become an ENFJ, because we don't swap our tertiary and inferior functions easily. So before I move on about Type Ones, I find the need to address a question in the MBTI community.

Can an INFJ become an ENFJ?
     For one, you cannot change your MBTI. MBTI does not gauge your exact behaviour and is more of a description of your base personality. As you go through life, you may over-develop certain functions. For example, if you grow up in a family that places huge emphasis on studies and you come to believe in that as well, you can easily over-develop your T functions.

     So can an INFJ resemble an ENFJ?

     On the outside, yes, definitely. If INFJs are the most extroverted Introverts, I can see how INFJs may look like ENFJs on the first meeting. In fact, INFJs who grew up in families that have a lack of Intuitive types have the tendency to under-develop their Ni function, because their gut feelings are often rejected by the people around them. Instead, they can end up developing Fe beyond their level of Ni, and this kind of swap ends up resembling ENFJs.

     However, it is extremely difficult for an individual to change their tertiary and inferior functions and that is where the difference between INFJs and ENFJs shine through. If I'm being completely honest, I think we INFJs are very envious of ENFJs, because the way their functions are stacked means that they don't experience emotional "constipation" as much and they act better under stress.

     Every single type, under stress, turns towards their inferior function. In the INFJ's case, our tertiary function is Ti, which works with Ni and Fe nicely. However, under stress, we revert to using Se, a sensing function, not to mention, Extroverted Sensing. Extroverted Sensing is a very dangerous function when not balanced or checked because over-indulgence in Se can lead to over-drinking, over-eating, smoking, taking drugs, cutting, etc etc, anything to stimulate our senses. When an INFJ is stressed, they try to shut down their inner world by focusing too much their Se. Usually, once the INFJ got out of the moment of stress, a huge wave of guilt sets in once they realise that they had done all these unethical acts that were selfish and insensitive.

     We think that ENFJs have it better. Their Se is tertiary while Ti is inferior. This means that ENFJs are one of the only types that handle stress well. Under stress, ENFJs sit down and think, retreating into their own minds to rationalise things. That's what INFJs do when not under stress and sadly, we tend to throw our Ti out the window once we are overwhelmed.

     So, no, INFJs cannot become ENFJs. Under stress, every single person revert to their base personalities. If you place an INFJ and ENFJ under a situation of huge stress, you can immediately see the difference. INFJs will break down, either in hysteria or completely paralyse themselves, trying to either overload their sense or shut themselves down. ENFJs will just sit down and think through it. The good thing, I guess, for INFJs is that once the climax of the stress dies down, the Ti comes back almost immediately and the first thought is usually "Did I just do that? Well, that was stupid." And then Fe comes back later with the guilt.

     In fact, in a survey conducted by MBTI researchers, when asked "If you have to choose another type to be, which type would you be?", the most common answers amongst INFJs are ENFJ and ENFP, because "they seem to have life easier".


     Now, back to the Type One stuff.

Type One in Brief
     Ones are conscientious and ethical, with a strong sense of right and wrong. They are teachers, crusaders, and advocates for change: always striving to improve things, but afraid of making a mistake. Well-organised, orderly, and fastidious, they try to maintain high standards, but can slip into being critical and perfectionistic [INFJ much?]. They typically have problems with resentment and impatience. At their Best: wise, discerning, realistic and noble [INFJs are the most realistic idealists, probably because we are cynical as hell. We are very weird people - very idealistic, thinking the entire world can be changed and made better, but at the same time, very realistic because of pessimism]. Can be morally heroic [Heroic? I don't see it as being heroic.]

Basic Fear: Of being corrupt/evil, defective
Basic Desire: To be good, to have integrity, to be balanced
Enneagram One with a Nine-Wing: "The Idealist"
Enneagram One with a Two-Wing: "The Advocate"
Key Motivations: Want to be right, to strive higher and improve everything, to be consistent with their ideals, to justify themselves, to be beyond criticism so as not to be condemned by anyone

Correspondence of Type and MBTI

Q: It seems that Enneagram Types 1 and 4 are the strongly correlated with the INFJ personality. How are these two "flavours" of the INFJ different?

A: The Type 1 INFJ would fall in line with the humanitarian portrait of the type, whereas the Type 4 INFJ would be more in tune with the rare and mysterious image.

The Meaning of Type One Arrows (in brief)

     When moving in their Direction of Disintegration (stress), methodical Ones suddenly become moody and irrational at Four. However, when moving in their Direction of Integration (growth), angry, critical Ones become more spontaneous and joyful, like healthy Sevens. 

     I'll make another more informative post about how the entire Enneagram system works some other time. It's quite an extensive system that I'm not very sure about right now.

Type One Overview

     We have named the Type One The Reformer because Ones have a "sense of mission" that leads them to want to improve the world in various ways, using whatever degree of influence they have. They strive to overcome adversity -- particularly moral adversity -- so that the human spirit can shine through and make a difference. They strive after "higher values", even at the cost of great personal sacrifice.

     History is full of Ones who have left comfortable lives to do something extraordinary because they felt that something higher was calling them. During the Second World War, Raoul Wallenburg left a comfortable middle-class life to work for the protection of thousands of European Jews from invading Nazis. In India, Gandi left behind his wife and family and life as a successful lawyer to become an itinerant advocate of Indian independence and non-violent social changes. Joan of Arc left her village in France to restore the throne to the Dauphin and to expel the English from the country. The idealism of each of these Ones has inspired millions.

     Hah, this is hilarious. I was just reading the description of an INFJ on Personality Institute yesterday and this is what they said "In that they (INFJs) are inherently sacrificial in relating, as leaders -- as with Joan of Arc, their prototype -- they are capable of inspiring deep levels of devotion from their followers, which is often puzzling to those outside the sphere of their influence." Also, "This type (INFJ) is "Joan of Arc" in modern-day dress, living to "war" on behalf of those likely to be outcasts of society, for those unable or unwilling to defend themselves against anything that militates the sanctity of the selfhood of mankind." Yeah, what was that about INFJs not being Type Ones again?

     Ones are people of practical action -- they wish to be useful in the best sense of the word. On some level of consciousness, they feel that they "have a mission" to fulfill in life, if only to try their best to reduce the disorder they see in their environment.

     Although Ones have a strong sense of purpose, they also typically feel that they have to justify their actions to themselves, and often to others as well. This orientation causes Ones to spend a lot of time thinking about the consequences of their actions, as well as how to keep from acting contrary to their convictions. Because of this, Ones often persuade themselves that they are "head" types, rationalists who proceed only on logic and objective truth. But, the real picture is somewhat different: Ones are actually activists who are searching for an acceptable rationale for what they feel they must do. They are people of instinct and passion who use convictions and judgements to control and direct themselves and their actions.

     In the effort to stay true to their principles, Ones resist being affected by their instinctual drives, consciously not giving in to them or expressing them too freely. The result is a personality type that has problems with repression, resistance and aggression. They are usually seen by others as highly self-controlled, even rigid, although this is not how Ones experience themselves. It seems to them that they are sitting on a cauldron of passions and desires, and they had better "keep the lid on" lest they and everyone else around them regret it.

     It's so INFJ, I don't even need to say more.

     Ones believe in being strict with themselves (and eventually becoming "perfect") will justify them in their own eyes and in the eyes of others. But by attempting to create their own brand of perfection, they often create their own personal hell. In stead of agreeing with the statement in Genesis that God saw what He had created, "and it was good," Ones intensely feel that "It wasn't -- there obviously have been some mistakes here!" This orientation makes it difficult for them to trust their inner guidance -- in deed, to trust life -- so Ones come to rely heavily on their superego, a learned voice from their childhood, to guide them toward the "greater good" which they so passionately seek. When Ones have gotten completely entranced in their personality, there is little distinction between them and this severe, unforgiving voice. Separating from it and seeing its genuine strengths and limitations is what growth for Ones is about.

      That's actually the main problem I have with creationists because they like to think what God created is perfect. Hello, are you blind? Have you been living under a rock? This world is not perfect, far from it. It can be, but it isn't. Stop your preaching over there and do something! It doesn't matter to me who or what created this world insofar as where this world will proceed towards. It is certainly interesting, the idea of Origin that is (that's a Type Four obsession), but it should not and cannot determine the future of mankind!

Levels of Health

Healthy Levels

Level One: (At their best) Become extraordinarily wise and discerning. By accepting what is, they become transcendentally realistic, knowing the best action to take in each moment. Humane, inspiring and hopeful: the truth will be heard.

Level Two: Conscientious with strong personal convictions: they have an intense sense of right and wrong, personal religious and moral values. Wish to be rational, reasonable, self-disciplined, mature, moderate in all things. 

Level Three: Extremely principled, always want to be fair, objective, and ethical: truth and justice primary values. Sense of responsibility, personal integrity, and of having a higher purpose often make them teachers and witnesses to the truth.

Average Levels

Level Four: Dissatisfied with reality, they become high-minded idealists, feeling that it is up to them to improve everything, crusaders, advocates, critics. Into "causes" and explaining to other how things "ought" to be.

Level Five: Afraid of making a mistake: everything must be consistent with their ideals. Become orderly and well-organised, but impersonal, puritanical, emotionally constricted, rigidly keeping their feelings and impulses in check. Often workaholics -- "anal-compulsive", punctual, pedantic and fastidious.

Level Six: Highly critical both of self and others: picky, judgemental, perfectionistic. Very opinionated about everything: correcting people and badgering them to "do the right thing" -- as they see it. Impatient, never satisfied with anything unless it is done according to their prescriptions. Moralising, scolding, abrasive and indignantly angry. 

Unhealthy Levels

Level Seven: Can be highly dogmatic, self-righteous, intolerant, and inflexible. Begin dealing in absolutes: they alone know "The Truth". Everyone else is wrong: very severe in judgements, while rationalising own actions.

Level Eight: Become obsessive about imperfection and the wrong-doing of others, although they may fall into contradictory actions, hypocritically doing the opposite of what they preach.

Level Nine: Become condemnatory toward others, punitive and cruel to rid themselves of "wrong-doers". Severe depressions, nervous breakdowns, and suicide attempts are likely Generally corresponds to the Obsessive-Compulsive and Depressive personality disorders.

     I actually think I'm always above Level Five, despite the stupid things I do. The kind of self-harm I inflict is generally a result of Disintegration (stress) since Type One disintegrate into Type Four. Why? Because I think the difference is that at Unhealthy Levels, Type Ones blame the world for everything - that the entire world is wrong. In Disintegration, we blame ourselves for incompetence, which is a Type Four characteristic. So I'd think I'm at Level Four, trying to go to Three.

Type One with Nine-Wing (1/9)

My 3 highest scoring Types are 1, 2, and 9 respectively. Highly confusing, I know.

Balanced and Transcendent States

     Healthy 1/9 overcomes emotional repression, discovering an inner warmth. Although they still have a tendency to judge, they do not take their judgements quite so seriously, allowing for the possibility that they may be wrong. The Nineish tendency to withdraw from stress comes under conscious control, allowing them to take a more active role in life, although there is still a gentle, quiet feeling. The compulsive workaholic turns into a responsible but fun-loving person who allows time for just letting go and relaxing.

     In extreme integration, the joy of Seven comes in strongly, adding a sense of enthusiastic involvement in life. This combines with Threeish charisma and accomplishment to build a powerful sense of self-creation and self-esteem. 1/9 saints are gentle but persistent teachers. The selfless union of Nine combines with the deep wisdom of One, opening a special kind of access to reality. Spiritually advanced 1/9s seem to be effortlessly in touch with the unfolding Work of the world.

Unbalanced and Unhealthy States

     Unhealthy 1/9s often overcontrol their emotions, resulting in a kind of physical rigidity accompanied by an undercurrent of vaguely explosive energy. The repressed emotions, particularly anger, build up unnoticed and leak out in the form of tics and nervous gestures. One disintegrates into Four, resulting in hostility, introspective withdrawal and deep self-hatred, while Nine disintegrates to Six, bringing in suspicion, blaming and passive-aggressive behaviour. But the fearful blaming and suspicion are kept inside, where they become bottled up ever more tightly.

     STOP STOP STOP. That sounds a lot like me, A LOT. But...but my 2 is higher than my 9..by like 1%, but still! Wait a flying second. This description is EXACTLY how I behave under stress: bottling up, extreme suspicion, withdrawal, self-hatred...I'm so confused.

     As the repressed emotionality becomes more and more tightly bound, behaviours begin to resemble robotic, automatic rituals. All of life becomes a lockstep repetition of extremely stylised routines. In deep imbalance, 1/9s can become extremely anxious about getting everything precisely right. Every tiny move is subject to intense, painful scrutiny, and past behaviours are examined in agonising detail. Eventually, psychotic 19 might become completely paralysed into inaction, stabbed through the heart by the endless need to repeat behaviours until they feel precisely correct.

     I'm so confused~ SO VERY CONFUSED~ ...Let's just look at 1/2, maybe there are overlaps.

Type One with Two-Wing (1/2)

Balanced and Transcendent States

     Healthy 1/2s begin to loosen up somewhat, becoming able to let go of their righteous judgements. They begin to allow for the possibility that their views might not be entirely accurate. Their other-directed corrections soften up and actually become helpful rather than intrusive. They become able to see the difference between proud perfectionism and healthy tolerance of differences.

     When 1/2s attain spiritual opening, they can become teachers of the highest order. One integrates to Seven, bringing in joy and enthusiasm, while Two integrates to Four, replacing selfish manipulation with genuine compassionate concern for others. Deep Oneish wisdom combines with Twoish loving generosity for an intensely personal kind of guidance, even when they are addressing large groups. Somehow advanced 1/2s seem to know exactly what is needed for maximum teaching value in any situation. They teach by asking the right questions, gently guiding the student to deeper insights. 

Unbalanced and Unhealthy States

     Unhealthy 1/2s run into problems with Twoish pride interacts with Oneish perfectionism. A tremendous inner conflict rages between the Two-Wing that says "I am a good, generous person" and the Oneish view that sees every tiny error as a sign of fundamental worthlessness. One disintegrates to Four, where self-critical introspection creates a spiral of hopelessness, while Two disintegrates to Eight, so when the heavily repressed anger erupts, it does so in sudden fits of hypercritical rage, sometimes accompanied by overt violence. Naturally, these violent fits then become more food for the self-judgement spiral, as the 1/2 falls into guilty remorse.

     This sounds correct too. I supposed since all Types have two wings and it's just the general inclination, I may be a Type One with equal inclination towards Two and Nine.

     In the worst cases, repressed Oneish anger and hostile Twoish pride combine, creating intense sessions of wrenching, hand-wringing despair. In my anger is not expressed towards others, then it is directed at myself. I am not good enough if I cannot meet my own standards. I must work harder and harder or I will fail my own increasingly difficult self-tests. Self-punishment is necessary, in the form of gruelling work days, endlessly tormented repetitions of not-quite perfect tasks, and every kind of refusal to experience any sort of pleasure. Suicide is possible.

     Yup, I'm almost 100% positive that I'm a Type One with very equal Two and Nine Wings. I'll explain Wings in my general Enneagram post when I have the time to do one. Just keep in mind that everyone has two wings, but most show inclinations towards one over the other. For example, One is adjacent to Two and Nine, so people of Type One will lean towards either Two or Nine. I think I', leaning towards both sides almost equally and that's why I seem to be able tor relate to both equally.

MBTI Stuff #5: The J-P Confusion (INFP vs INFJ)

     Oh my, I'm actually an INFJ. I just didn't know the difference between INFP and INFJ...rather, I had it all mixed up.

     Recently, I've learnt something about the MBTI that overturned my previous connotations. I would blame those misguided theories on the highly simplistic ways that the Internet tends to classify different types. While information on E-I, S-N and T-F are mostly true, it's the complicated nature of J-P that tends to throw people off.

What the Internet Says
     Most simplistic readings on differentiating J-P tend to classify them as highly exclusive types. Js are known to be more orderly, decisive and are much calmer. Ps, on the other hand, are laid-back and absolutely hate having to schedule anything. Take, for example, ENFJ and ENFP. ENFJ is usually the charismatic leader who is good with people. On the other hand, ENFP is the hyperactive scatterbrain who is also good with people, but is much more haphazard in the way they deal with things. In other words, Js are the type that need to live with a schedule while Ps are the type that cannot deal with schedules. In general, there are more females that are Js than males.

The Truth

     While it is generally true that J-P follows such a trend, in INFP vs INFJ especially, you see quite the opposite. This has to do with the fact that J-P do not function as separate entities from the others. They are a combination of all other three functions. What do I mean? Let's take the functions of INFP and INFJ into account.

     

     As adapted from the Myers and Briggs website, this is the description of the J-P functions:

     "The J or P preference only tells which preference the person extraverts. One person may feel very orderly/structure (J) on the inside, yet their outer life looks spontaneous and adaptable (P). Another person may feel very curious and open-minded (P) in their inner world, yet their outer life looks more structured or decided (J)."

     But how can a person tell? Most people don't even know themselves that well. Fortunately, the website has that covered as well.

     "Judging (J)

     I use my decision-making (J) preference (whether it is T or F) in my outer life. To others, I seem to prefer a planned or orderly way of life, like to have things settled and organised, feel more comfortable when decisions are made and like to bring life under control as much as possible."

     "Perceiving (P)

     I use my perceiving function (whether it is S or N) in my outer life. To others, I seem to prefer a flexible and spontaneous way of life, and I like to understand and adapt to the world rather than organise it. Others see me staying open to new experiences and information."

      Well, this may blow your mind but...I DISAGREE. 

      Of course I have evidence for this and it's a glaring evidence. Taking the first line you see "I use my decision-making (J) preference (T/F) in my outer life". Then take a look at the INFJ and INFP table above. Instead of having T or F as the dominant function for INFJ, INFJ has N instead, which is a perceiving function. Then look at INFP, it has a decision-preference instead.

      Therefore, there is still an ounce of truth, though not much of it. To see whether a person is more inclined towards decision-making or leaving things open, you look at their dominant function. However, that does not define J or P. This is mostly true for most Introverts, but mostly for INFP and INFJ, which are very easily confused (I mean, I was confused, for a long time).

INFP vs INFJ: 5 Ways to Differentiate

       There may be no types mistaken for each other more than INFJs and INFPs. And while they may look similar from the outside, they are very different creatures inside. Add to that, INFJs and INFPs are two of the personality types most interested in personality psychology, so an incomplete understanding of how these two types are differentiated can cause a lot of personal frustration, like the one I was having before. This has led to many internet arguments, since their difference defy the general consensus.

1. Their Driver Processes, aka Dominant Functions

     The Driver process can also be called the "dominant cognitive function". It is the mind's first point of contact and the primary lens through which everything gets filtered.

     For an INFJ, this dominant process is technically called Introverted Intuition, nicknamed "Perspectives". Perspectives is a learning function (technically called a perceiving function) and works by watching one's own mind form patterns. After years of use, eventually Perspectives begins to see the "pattern of the patterns" and understands that what is happening inside of themselves cognitively is also happening for other people.

     INFPs, on the other hand, lead with a process called Introverted Feeling, which we call "Authenticity". Authenticity is a decision-making function (technically called a judging function), and works by being deeply in touch with how one is emotionally impacted by events. Decisions are made by "checking in" to ensure that they are in alignment with one's values and identity. There is a saying that the more personal something is the more universal it is. Over time, Authenticity understands that they aren't alone in their feelings. They are simply more aware of them than other types.

     Both already have very different world views. What's even more confusing, is that while they are both quite indecisive, the indecisiveness is derived from different reasons.

     For an INFP, because their decision-making process can take time, it can feel grueling to be pressured to make a quick call. Each decision needs to be in alignment with the INFP's values, and even a decision as simple as what salad to order can be a frustration if, say, their relationship with food has become a part of how they define themselves. That to me is actually quite bizarre, pointing out to me that I'm actually not an INFP. I find decision-making processes like this to be a sign of fetishism or obsession.

      On the other hand, since INFJs are more removed from their decision-making process of Harmony, it's usually over time that they become frustrated with the inability to make a final call. Like in real life, I often want other people to make a decision on where to meet and what time, but if the decision isn't being made after a while, I get annoyed and decide upon it by myself. They are less likely to agonise over smaller decisions because not every decision is a reflection of their identity. In other words, if it doesn't involve me, I often don't care what decision is being made. Even if it involves me, decision is only made when people are starting to frustrate me.

     I think one important thing to realise is that INFPs go straight into a situation, trying to make a final decision. INFJs are often more laid-back, allowing their decisions to change again and again. It is only when the Harmony factor (Extroverted Feeling) is compromised, that they utilise that auxiliary function and move in to take action.

2. Evaluation of Emotional Significance

     The Harmony (Extroverted Feeling) person might ask themselves something like "What get's everyone needs met?" "How do I create harmony both within interpersonal relationships and the context/environment?" In order to know the "right" choice, other people's emotions become the most interesting piece of information. They're ultimately the feedback mechanism needed to determine a decision was the right one, because it's their emotions that tell you if their needs are getting met and/or if they're experiencing any form of conflict.

     On the other hand, Introverted Feeling is nicknamed "Authenticity" because it's about the individual's emotional experience. It's about checking in with one's own emotions to determine if an action is the "right" one.

     If offending others is more distressing than offending yourself, you are more likely using Harmony. And if you're willing to be a total pariah in behalf of your convictions, you're more likely using Authenticity. That is why I believe I'm an INFJ too. It's not that I'm super generous or anything, but I don't feel as in-tuned with my emotions as I'm supposed to be as an INFP. I don't possess the poetic abilities that INFPs possess and in fact, share a lot more in common with INFJ, since I often find myself feeling other people's projected emotions, but not really reflecting it back. I can feel their pain, but I can also feel distinctly that the pain is theirs and not mine.

Instead of seeing it as a variation of being true to oneself, it is more helpful to see it as "serving other's needs first in order to get your own needs met" (Harmony) versus "honouring one's own experience first in order to honour other's experience" (Authenticity).

3. "Absorbing" and "Mirroring" Emotions

    This may be the biggest confusion between the two types. It's definitely the source of endless internet battles for supremacy of "who's the most empathetic type". The truth is, thought, that both INFJs and INFPs have an almost magical ability to understand the emotional human experience. The way they go about is what differentiates them.

    I once heard a description for "empathy" as "Your pain my heart". For an INFJ, this couldn't be more true. INFJs absorb other people's emotional energy, whether they want to or not. If it's powerful and there -- friend or foe, intimate or stranger -- your pain is in their heart. I find this to be very true for me. One of the many occasions was a time when I was counselling my friend out of doing something absolutely stupid to herself. While she was crying to me, I could distinctly feel her pain, almost as if it were my own, because I felt the extent of the emotional pain physically -- you know, the sort where the emotional torment actually manifests as a pain in your body. However, the thing remained that I didn't cry at all, because somehow, I could still tell that the pain was hers and it was simply being shared with me. There was no reason for me to reflect her pain back. That's what makes me more INFJ, I suppose.

   The combination of Perspectives (getting into other's heads) and Harmony (having other people's emotions on their radar all the time) seems to converge into this superpower (absorbing emotions), a gift that most INFJs would trade away if they could. Seriously though, I cannot deny it. It makes me too damn emotional. When people need me to give solid and objective advice, I cannot afford to have their pain permeating into me every second. Still, I have expressed my love of Charles Xavier's version of Telepathy -- which is more telepathy with empathy - and I must say, it is an honour to be able to have a "superpower" like that...though not to his extent. On one hand, I want to get rid of this, but on the other, I treasure greatly my ability to feel other's pain.

    Since Authenticity is their Driver process, this ability becomes unconscious competence for INFPs and they may not even register when they're doing it. This is why Authenticity Drivers (INFPs and ISFPs) are easily the greatest actors and performers of all the types. Putting on a new emotion can be as easy as swapping jackets.

    When in the presence of another person's strong emotion, it's not that the INFP is absorbing it, they're mirroring it. Since this is exceptionally easy for them to do, it's usually a surprise to discover that other people can't even come close to this ability. The nuance of their ability to mirror another person's emotional experience can feel like absorbing since it's so spot on. But, remember -- this isn't another person's emotion in the INFP's heart. This is years and years of the INFP mapping emotions within themselves and finding the closest proximity to what the other person is experiencing.

    If those aren't evidence enough that I'm an INFJ already, I have more information, answering my doubts all this time:

    

    To absorb another's emotion, both the INFJ and the other person have to be together in real time. This isn't post-processing emotional experience, it's an emotion hitting the INFJ due to energetic proximity. I know I can sense another person's tranquillity, their panic and their guilt, and it's not because I can read certain signs. It's an "aura", as I like to call it. Everyone has their own "aura" and I have assigned colours to all of them.

     For an INFP, it's about finding the emotion the other person is -- was -- or will be experiencing within themselves. The emotion can be bound through time via works of art, literature, journals and any/every other way we as people express our emotions. And this was what made me doubt my INFP analysis in the first place. I am, by no means, good at these things. I'm probably the biggest blockhead in class when it comes to understanding the emotions of the people in a text. I can't talk to them! I can't feel them! How am I suppose to know they are feeling frustrated? Literature is not my strong suit, neither do I particularly like it. Why waste time burying your face in books when you can be listening to someone else tell a better story?

4. Being Understood vs Being Validated

     Both the INFJ and INFP personality types run into the problem of feeling misunderstood. For INFJs, the Perspectives process gives them an insight to other people that is unmatched, and it can be disconcerting to realise other people don't have the same superpower. The result is a lot of one-sided relationships. Wow, that was a low-blow! But I suppose...that's what happened, isn't it?

     On top of that, the Perspectives process is itself quite mysterious to other people. Both INxJ types (INFJs and INTJs) learn to keep their speculations to themselves. "Just knowing" stuff feels like precognition to others and can make them uncomfortable.

     INFPs face feeling misunderstood because no one could possibly know them as well as they know themselves. The Authenticity process is a deep pool of nuanced self-awareness, and it's truly impossible to communicate all the variety within themselves to another person.

     If you peel back the layers, however, it's not that INFPs have a challenge in being fully misunderstood. If anyone else ever actually "fully" understood them that would actually be a bad sign -- it would mean that the INFP had lost some of their individuality or that they're dangerously close to being too similar to other people. This confuses me, really. While I do treasure my individuality as an INFP should, I don't think it bad if I become a little bit like the others. After all, aren't I part of this world too? If I become like them, I would understand them more, right?

     INFJs aren't nearly as invested in others believing they have good motive. They are far more likely to be tuned into the motives and motivations of others to give a lot of thought about whether the other person believes the INFJ has a positive intent. That's true. I don't need validation for my actions, I just need you to know that I'm not about to hurt you.

     Where an INFP can lose awareness of other people if they're really excited by a topic, INFJs never lose awareness of other people. Okay...wait. If you are excited but no one is there...then what are you being excited for exactly? In fact, that's why INFJs generally need more alone time than INFPs. The only real distance INFJs get from other people is when they're truly physically alone, and this is generally used to recharge their batteries for the next trip into the outer world. See, if I were an ENFJ instead of INFJ, I wouldn't need to recharge...

5. How Each Type Leads and Persuades

     INFJs - using the Perspectives process - often solve problems and persuade others by offering alternative perspectives. In fact, they generally solve problems by shifting perspectives until the solution becomes clear. They offer these shifts as "a-ha" moments. So I'm not being indecisive...I'm just giving you some choices.

     INFPs - using Authenticity process - are more masters of emotional Aikido. Since they understand how emotions flow within the self, they can use this to redirect the emotional energy in another person, getting them to feel what they want them to feel. Isn't this emotional manipulation?! Hello?! Isn't that a bad thing!

     I think everything has been cleared up. I have another person I know who is an INFP, and all this time, he is the reason why I think I'm not one. I never felt any sense of similarity between us and in fact, I find him very emotionally selfish. The way he interacts with my other friend, the way he treats her, to me, feels extremely self-centred. Now that I realise I'm actually an INFJ, who thought she was an INFP. I really believed in the J-P thing before, but now I realise, INFJ is actually more flexible than INFP. Also, that means I'm not compatible with ENFJ, which is excellent. In fact, that explains why I think the scatterbrained ENFP is quite interesting. But, it also explains why I felt like I understood that ENFJ so much, because we share the same functions, just in different order (INFJ - Ni, Fe; ENFJ - Fe, Ni). I do understand him, I think.